Chapter Three

The Doctor waited till her heard the door shut before he stood up.

"Now!" the Doctor said while the children giggled. "As your adopted family member, I expect strict obedience to my rules or there will be death galore!"

"No!" Tom said while the children giggled.

"Let's go somewhere in the TARDIS," Mandy said, tugging on his trouser leg.

"Yeah, let's go somewhere and come back four million years later," Michelle said.

"Um, I have a feeling your family will be dust by that time," the Doctor said while Amy, Rory and River snickered. "In fact, for all I know, this spot will be under water by that time."

"We can swim," Tom said.

"So can I but I don't wanna land the TARDIS in the middle of the ocean," the Doctor said to him.

"Let's play a game then," Michelle said while River pet Rex.

"Fine, we'll play a game called Obedience. You will sit on these chairs calmly and quietly and not talk until your parents come home and take over," the Doctor said.

"NO!" the children yelled and giggled when the Doctor feigned anger.

"Well, we could play a game called Let's Call Your Cousins," the Doctor said. I could ring them and tell them I'm a member of the family and listen while they scream in horror."

"Do it, I dare you," Brittany said.

"Should I?" the Doctor said to River, Rory and Amy.

"Do you want to get kicked out of the family that fast?" Amy teased.

"Do you have their phone numbers?" the Doctor said to the children.

Brittany looked at her siblings before running out of the room. She returned a few minutes later with a small address book. She flipped through it and found Jack's phone number and handed it to the Doctor. The Doctor studied it before walking over to the wall phone.

"You're eager to lose your last name, aren't ya?" Amy teased while he picked up the receiver.

The Doctor put his finger to his lips and hushed the children before punching the number on the keypad. He listened while the children stood by and watched eagerly and his family sat at the table with a bemused look on their faces.

"Hello," he said with a Brooklyn accent when someone answered, "is this the man of the house? It is? Good. I am calling you to ask if you are interested in aluminum siding for your house? We are currently offering three different colors, white, black and taupe…"

The children tried not to giggle while the Doctor waggled his eyebrows at them.

"Now sir, wait, don't hang up," the Doctor said when Jack started to tell him goodbye, "I have an excellent offer for you. You get 10 slats for 9.95 and if you buy 100 slats, we throw 10 slats in for free. You can't beat that offer! Hello?" he said, holding the receiver out at arm's length when Jack slammed down the phone. "Fine, don't take my siding, you racist git!" he yelled at the receiver while everyone died laughing. "Go shoot a deer, maybe it'll make you feel better, you redneck prat," he added as he hung up the phone.

"Oh God, I'm so glad you came back," Brittany said when she got her breath. "You're like the cool, nutty uncle we never had."

They laughed when the Doctor stuck his tongue out at the phone before walking back to his seat.

"Don't tell your mum I did that," he said to the children.

"Why? Are you afraid you'll be fed to Spot?" Brittany said.

"Spot is in my TARDIS now and no longer a threat," the Doctor said smugly. "I rule the roost now, my little hens. And so…am I your uncle then? We need to know who we are in the pecking order."

"You're Uncle Doctor," Brittany said.

"Okay, so this is Aunt River then," the Doctor said, pointing to River.

"Rory and Amy can be our brother and sister," Tom said, walking over to them.

"Bye, Mum and Dad, it seems I'm no longer your daughter now," River said.

"And Donna can be a sister too when she comes back," Michelle said.

"Very good. So…what do we do now, now that I've probably made your cousin angry," the Doctor said. "You mentioned a game? What do you want to play then?"

"We could play Monopoly," Michelle said.

"Nah, that takes ages. Your mum said she wouldn't be long," the Doctor said.

"How about a guessing game?" Mandy said.

"Like what?" the Doctor said to her.

"You guess what animal we are," Michelle said.

"Okay, we could do that," the Doctor said.

The children looked at each other before Tom got down on all fours and crawled around, barking. The Doctor giggled when Rex went over to him and sniffed him while Tom barked.

"Well, Reggie seems to be quite taken with you now, that's for sure," the Doctor said while Rex licked Tom's face. "So I'm guessing you're a dog judging from his reaction."

"Yup!" Tom said, standing up.

Michelle was next. She used her arm like a trunk and swung it back and forth in front of her while she stomped around.

"A Flifferfloof!" the Doctor said, pointing to her.

"A Snazzlefrazz," Amy said.

"A Munge," Rory added while Michelle giggled.

"A Giggling Munge," River said while the children laughed.

"A dog with a long nose since Reggie is taken with you as well," the Doctor said when Rex walked over and sniffed her arm.

"I'm an elephant," Michelle said.

"You are? I thought you were a Hazzledorn for sure," the Doctor said, slapping his forehead.

"You go next," Mandy said to him.

"Okay then," the Doctor said, rising from his seat.

He thought for a moment and then thrust his arms out straight in front of him and got a blank look on his face while he walked around and said "EXTERMINATE" in a robotic voice. River, Amy and Rory snickered at the confusion on the children's faces and the fact that Rex was following behind him as he walked all over the kitchen with his arms outstretched.

"I'm guessing it's an alien animal," Brittany said to her siblings while they watched him.

"Something from Venus!" Michelle squealed.

"No! Venus is rubbish, I keep telling you that," the Doctor said, stopping momentarily before resuming his pacing and robotic movements.

"Do you know what he's imitating?" Brittany asked Amy, Rory and River.

They nodded emphatically and snickered when the children looked at each other.

"A martian?" Brittany said to the Doctor.

"Nope," the Doctor said.

"A Saturn person?" Michelle said.

"Nope," the Doctor said.

"A doggie!" Mandy squealed.

"NO!" the Doctor yelled while they laughed.

"What are you then?" Brittany said.

"Give up?" the Doctor said, stopping by the stove.

They nodded and he lowered his arms.

"I am a Dalek," he said.

"What's that?" Michelle said.

"A robot that hates everything and everyone, like your cousins, only metallic," the Doctor said.

"We don't know what that is, silly," Tom said to him.

Amy, Rory and River laughed when the Doctor roared at him and they ran out of the kitchen when he started to chase them. He paused at the kitchen doorway and leaned out, watching while they ran to their rooms, laughing hysterically. He chuckled and sat back down beside his companions while he waited for them to come back into the kitchen.

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