A DAY OUT
A/N: This is based on the scene of Jack, Rose, Nine and Mickey eating out and having fun while they're at the table. Chapter One Nine opened the door and let Jack, Rose and Mickey step outside. It was a sunny summer day in the heart of London and they were going to find somewhere to eat. They hadn't settled on a restaurant yet so everyone just decided to walk while they debated on where to go to eat. Nine could already see that his companions were in a silly, giggly mood as he locked the TARDIS door. They'd been that way all morning, chasing each other around and laughing and joking. He had been busy doing repairs so he didn't join in but he liked the laughter and happiness much more than terror and sorrow so he didn't complain. Ever since Jack joined them, the mood inside the TARDIS had been elevated. Jack knew how to work a room and keep everyone laughing and their spirits up and even though he was a bit annoying at times with the excessive flirting, he had to admit the man knew how to have fun and party. "Doctor, you leave this thing out in the open," Jack said to Nine as he turned to his companions. "Anyone ever peed on it?" "No," the Doctor said. "How'd ya know? You ever check?" Jack challenged. Rose and Mickey giggled when the two men just stared at each other for a moment before Nine walked past him. "It's a fair question," Jack said shrugging as he turned. "I mean, what if some drunk is stumbling along with a full bladder and can't hold it any longer and he takes a whizz against your door?" Nine rolled his eyes when his companions giggled at that. "I mean, you're inside sitting on that seat of yours and hear the pee hit the door and you probably think it's raining," Jack said while Rose and Mickey laughed harder. "And then the drunk knocks on the door because he thinks it's a port-a-loo," Mickey said. "Let me in!" Rose said in a gruff voice while she mimed knocking. "Why won't this chap come out? I drank fifty four beers and I need to go now before my bladder explodes!" The three companions chortled and Nine cracked a smile at that. "Mickey, do that one night," Jack said to him. "Tell the Doctor you're going for a walk and then go outside and come back about twenty minutes later and start banging on the door and acting all drunk and needing to go to the toilet." "Well gee, Harkness, now that you've said that aloud, I'll have fair warning if Mickey ever decides to go for some random walk," Nine said over his shoulder. Jack ran up and put his hand on the back of the Doctor's head. "Memory, be gone!" he yelled while Rose and Mickey laughed. "Didn't work, Jack," Nine said smugly. He frowned when Jack kept his hand against the Doctor's head as he kept pace with him. "What are you doing?" Nine said aloud. "I love your hair, it's so soft and fuzzy like a cute kitten," Jack said. "Hand off!" Nine said. Rose and Mickey laughed when Jack pulled his hand away. "Gee, must be someone's time of the month then," Jack said, falling back in step with Rose and Mickey. "Okay, now a song…ooooh, we're going to eat, walking the street, using our teensy weensy feet. We're following the Time Lord because damn it, we're bored and he's cute to boot, oh my sweet Lord!" Mickey and Rose bent over laughing and the Doctor smiled and shook his head at that. Jack noticed a few people were staring at him the moment he finished singing. "YEAH, I SING IN PUBLIC!" Jack yelled at them while they passed. He chuckled when Mickey blushed at that and patted his shoulder. "So I take it, we're not going to any fancy restaurants today?" Nine said over his shoulder as they walked. "We'll behave…sorta," Jack said. Rose hurried until she was beside the Doctor. "Wait, why are you with that fuddy duddy now?" Jack said. "Yeah, Rose, we're much more fun," Mickey added. "Because Rose enjoys being around adults," the Doctor said to them. Suddenly Rose burst into song. "I love the Doctor's hair, it's soft like a little kitten," she sang as they walked. "I'd like to take his hair and…" She fell silent, trying to think of a rhyme. "Yeah?" Jack said while Mickey chuckled. "What do you want to do to his hair?" "Um…make a tiny mitten?" Rose finished sheepishly. The Doctor shook with silent laughter while Jack and Mickey howled with laughter at that. The Doctor put his arm around her and squeezed her shoulder. "I like that actually," Jack said when he recovered. "And the Doctor's hair is short enough that you could only get a tiny mitten out of it." Suddenly, the Doctor steered Rose off to the right as they crossed the street. Rose gave the Doctor a questioning look but the Doctor said nothing and she allowed him to guide her while Jack and Mickey followed. "What's this?" Jack said to Mickey. "Is he about to do something freaky to her?" "Maybe give her an anal probe?" Mickey offered. "In public?" Jack said. "How daring of him. We'll have such fun watching it." "Why are your friends daft?" Nine said to Rose while they walked. "They're your friends as well," Rose said. "Not at the moment," Nine said. The Doctor walked with her to an ATM machine. "Ooo, he's gonna probe her while she's up against a cashpoint? That'll be really kinky," Jack said. "Button it, Harkness," Nine said while Jack and Mickey chortled. "Rose, stand beside me and make sure no one sees me." "Maybe he's gonna make love to her against the cashpoint," Mickey said. "Can I join in then?" Jack said. The Doctor pulled out his sonic and held it at the ready while he looked around. "Oh, he's gonna stick that up Rose's butt, how very, very daring," Jack said. Rose laughed when the Doctor flashed him an exasperated look before turning his attention back to the ATM. "If you stick that inside Rose and turn it on, will she explode and the poop fly everywhere?" Jack said. "No, but if you don't shut up, I'm gonna shove it in your eye, turn it on and fry what passes for a brain inside your skull," the Doctor said. Jack walked around to his free side when he heard the wheeeee of the sonic and his eyebrows raised when he saw the Doctor using it to get cash. "Wait, do you have an account at this bank?" Jack said to the Doctor as he took the money from the tray. "Yes. And this is my account number," Nine said, holding the sonic up in front of him. "Wait a frickity fart doodle moment," Jack said as Nine and Rose turned and walked away. "You lectured me on not cheating people and you just stole money just now? You stole something, Doctor, how is that different from me being a con artist?" "Because, Harkness, when I do it, no one gets hurt or killed, like small boys wearing gas masks in the middle of a war zone," Nine said, stopping and looking at him. "No one gets hurt? You took that out of someone's account!" Jack said, pointing to the money in his hand. "No, I didn't and could you say that a bit louder so we can spend the day at her majesty's pleasure?" the Doctor said. "Do you want to eat or not?" "I…guess," Jack said. "I don't carry money so I needed to do this," the Doctor said, handing the bank notes to Rose. "Wait, she's your accomplice?" Jack said, pointing to her as Rose put the notes in her pocket. "No, she's my accountant. She knows how much things cost and since I trust her, she'll pay the lovely staff at the restaurant so we don't get to spend the day at her majesty's pleasure." "And how many times has Rose had to pay the lovely staff at restaurants?" Jack said. "Let's see…I believe this is the five thousandth and fifty second time. Not counting the tramps we pay off so they don't pee on my TARDIS. So are we ready to go now?" "Oh, if we must," Jack said with a feigned sigh of resignation. "Come along, Mickey, Rose. Jack, don't yell out on the way there that I just robbed a cashpoint or you'll be the one with the sonic up your bum," Nine said. "And don't make a comment that you'd think that was kinky and fun," Rose said over her shoulder while Nine put his arm around her. "Moi?" Jack said as he and Mickey followed behind them.
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