A HORRIBLE CHOICE

Chapter Seven

Donna sat beside Rose in the enlarged cube feeling angry and betrayed. Now that she had her memories restored to her, she remembered what the Doctor did to her and even though she knew he had done it to save her life, it still hurt to think that he robbed her of all those precious memories of her time with him. She had been sent back to a mediocre life because of him and it pissed her off. She glanced at Rose and noticed Rose was sitting at the back of the cell, her head down while she stared quietly at the floor of their prison.

"Rose?" Donna said, touching her arm.

Rose looked up and managed a small smile.

"You alright?" Donna said.

"S'pose. I'm just upset," Rose said softly while she went back to staring at the floor.

"Yeah, me too. The Doctor took away my memories even though I didn't want him to," Donna said.

"Why would he do that?" Rose said, looking at her.

"Because that Time Lord mind was killing me, it was too much for my brain to handle and in order to save my life; he took it all away including the memories of him and our travels."

"So that's why you didn't know me anymore?"

"Yeah, he took it all away except for some scattered subconscious memories that kept popping up in my dreams," Donna said.

"And you say you met me before," River said to her.

"Yeah, in The Library. 'Cept you had brown hair then."

River raised her eyebrow.

"There's something odd about my time stream. Each time I see the Doctor, he keeps getting younger."

"How'd ya mean?" Rose said.

"I mean, that somehow I'm going backwards in the Doctor's personal time line and each time we meet, it's further back along his time line. I know it's hard to explain but I can remember things we did together that he can't remember. I keep a diary and I try to compare what I have in my diary with what we've done each time I see him just so I know where I am in his personal time line. Meeting Donna must be something in the Doctor's past that I haven't gotten to yet and I've never had brown hair so it definitely must be something from his past."

"When I meet you, the Doctor is his tenth self," Donna said.

"Then that's in his past. I'm going back along his time stream and at the moment I'm still with his eleventh life," River said.

"So…one day you're gonna see him and it'll be the Doctor we know," Rose said, gesturing to herself and Donna.

"Yes," River said, nodding.

"Blimey, I'm glad that didn't happen to me," Donna said to Rose. "It's confusing enough traveling with him in normal time without going back into his past."

Rose nodded. She looked at River and her heart hurt all over again.

He forgot me, she thought to herself. As soon as he regenerated, he forgot me and fell in love with this woman. If I didn't have my Doctor, I would be all alone. Maybe he knew that would happen and that's why he left me with my Doctor.

Suddenly, Rose dreaded seeing the Doctor again. She didn't want to see River in the arms of the man she still loved and for the first time in her life, she wanted to go back to the other universe so she wouldn't have to witness him kissing and loving someone else. The thought of the Doctor forgetting her and falling in love with another woman filled her with despair and her head drooped while she stared at her hands.

While she was doing that, River was also hurting as she looked at Rose. The fact that she hadn't been the Doctor's first love hurt her deeply. She didn't hate Rose or bear her any ill will since she suspected the Doctor had loved Rose long before he ever met her but it still depressed her when she imagined her Doctor asking the woman across the room how long she was going to stay with him. The idea of the Doctor having a clone intrigued her since the Doctor never mentioned having one. Then again, the Doctor also never mentioned Rose.

She said the clone was her fiancé, River thought to herself while she gazed at Rose. Wonder if the Doctor would have still loved me if Rose wouldn't have landed up with his clone? I wonder if one of the reasons we're here is because that shape shifting thing wanted to torment us by revealing that we're not the only lover the Doctor's had. But Donna…what's her story? How many women has my darling had before me?

"Donna," she said aloud.

"Yeah?" Donna said.

"Now that you have your memories back, what's your relationship to the Doctor? Are you another lover of his?"

"No. I'm just a friend of his," Donna said.

"Must be a very good friend if you're one of the ones the Doctor treasures the most," River said.

Donna shrugged.

"I s'pose we were best mates but I never had a romantic relationship with him," Donna said.

"So…two lovers and a best mate," River said. "And the Doctor has to make a choice? I would have guessed he has to chose between lovers but if Donna here is just his friend…"

She noticed Rose was still looking at her hands and she guessed why she looked so dejected.

"Rose, look at me," she said to her.

Rose raised her head and River gave her a sympathetic smile.

"Look, I know it's painful to hear that the Doctor loved someone else. It's painful for me as well because I thought I was his first love and I know you thought you were the only one. But I have a feeling that you and I were loved by different Doctors which is why that thing kept shape shifting back and forth between us. I don't think we ever competed with each other for his affections, especially since you said that his clone is your fiancé? I don't know you all that well but I'd rather not have you for a rival, especially since I don't think we were really in competition to begin with. You said you were from a parallel universe?"

"Yes," Rose said. "I was trapped there several years ago and found my way back and then the Doctor sent me back with his clone. It's a long, complicated story. I do love the other Doctor but I also love the original Doctor and I'm sorry, it's just a shock…"

"I know, hon, for me as well," River said gently. "He never spoke about you or mentioned this clone of his."

"It's probably because he's forgotten me," Rose said.

"I don't think so," River said. "I don't think he forgets anyone he's traveled with and if you love him as much as I do and loved him as deeply as I do and he returned that love, then I doubt he's forgotten who you are. Sweetie, I think the Doctor does what he always does in a situation like this; he tucks you away deep within his hearts and never speaks of you to anyone else because you were special to him and he doesn't want to share you with anyone. Not to mention I'm sure it was painful for him to lose you and that's also why he never mentioned you to me. Most people have several relationships during their lifetime and the Doctor's no different. I don't want us to be at odds over this, Rose, especially if he did love us at different times in his life. It would be different if I stole him from you or vice versa but I don't think that's what happened. At any rate, we need to band together to get ourselves out of here or at least survive long enough for the Doctor to find us. What'd ya say, truce on any possible catfights over the Doctor?"

Rose smiled at that.

"Yeah, I call a truce. To be fair, I'm engaged to his clone and I don't want to tear up that relationship to go after the Doctor, especially since he left me with his clone in the first place. He made his decision and I made mine and you're right, I don't want to hate someone I barely know, especially if the Doctor did decide to move on with his life. I can't fault him for that since I did the same with his clone. I'd like to be friends if you want that."

"Yes, I'd love that," River said. "You seem like a nice woman; actually you seem like someone the Doctor would be interested in. I can see why he fell in love with you."

"Same here," Rose said.

"Hurray, you're not gonna be at each other's throats and I won't be in the middle of some enormous catfight," Donna said.

Rose chuckled at that.

"Nah, we need to save our energy on getting out of here," Rose said.

"Yes, especially since we have no idea if the Doctor knows we're missing," River said.

"If we're bait, I'm sure whatever that thing was will make sure he knows," Rose said.

"Yes, that's true. But just the same, we shouldn't have to wait till he comes to get rescued. We need to start strategizing."

"But what if that thing is listening in?" Donna said.

"Damn, you're right," River said, looking around. "Well, despite that, we still need to think of a way to get out of here and get back to the Doctor or at least get a message to him so he knows our location. We can't let that shape shifting bastard stop us."

Rose nodded. She settled back against her prison and drew her knees up to her chest while she silently prayed for a way out of their situation.

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