Chapter Four

"This is sooooo lame, you guys," Cartman said as he followed behind everyone else. "Why are we following the skinny ethalopian anyway?"

"Because the skinny ethalopian, as you put it, is smarter than you, Tubby the Two Tonne Twat!" the Doctor said over his shoulder.

"Hey! You will respect…"

Cartman shut up when Stan slammed his hand over Cartman's mouth. Cartman glared at him but backed up and kept his mouth shut.

Starvin' Marvin led them through several rooms and two corridors before they reached the console room. Inside was a thin, pink alien with long fingers and a gigantic brain. He was sitting in a chair similar to the one Captain Kirk used on the Enterprise and when Starvin' Marvin clicked at him, he swiveled around and assessed the situation.

"Greetings, Marklar," he said to them. "I am Marklar from Marklar. Why have you marklared here?"

"What?" Clara muttered as the Doctor stepped forward.

"Greetings, Marklar," the Doctor said to him. "We, Marklar and I, are Marklar. We traveled in our Marklar to this marklar and found your marklar here. We decided to marklar it and we found this marklar who took us to see marklar. Why have you come to Marklar then?"

"Okay, that didn't make any sense at all," Clara muttered again.

"Marklar, I greet you and Marklar here," he said, gesturing towards Clara. "I have marklared here in my marklar because Marklar," he said, pointing to Starvin' Marvin, "was very marklar and wanted to see his marklar again," he said, pointing to the children. "I mean marklar and your marklar no marklar and we will leave this Marklar as soon as Marklar marklars the marklar there," he said, again pointing to the children.

"Ah, I see, Marklar," the Doctor said while Clara stood beside him, totally lost. "I misunderstood your marklar. Accept my sincerest marklar for my ignorance."

"Not at all, Marklar," Marklar said. "It is good to meet a marklar who understands the marklar of Marklar and I hope to marklar you at another marklar time in another marklar place."

The Doctor nodded while Clara stood there with a severe headache from trying to understand what the hell was going on. The Doctor turned to the children.

"He said that Bekele…um…Starvin' Marvin was lonely and wanted to see all of you. After his visit, he will return home with Marklar.

"Cool! Come on, Marvin', let's go play," Stan said.

Marvin' clicked happily and all the children left, except Cartman. The Doctor eyed him when Cartman glared at him and put his hands over his hips.

"Yeah, what the fuck do you want now, Dodgy Podgy," the Doctor said.

"I want my goddamn ship and my time machine, damn it!" he said to the Doctor. "And I'm not going until I have them!"

"Look, you little wanker!" Clara snarled as she leaned over and put her fist in his face.

"No, Clara, we'll give him what he wants," the Doctor said, holding out his hand to stop her.

"What?" Clara said.

"What?" Cartman said in disbelief. "Seriously?"

"I can't compete with you," the Doctor said. "However, let us say goodbye one last time to our beloved time machine and its yours, okay?"

"No! Because you'll go inside the damn thing and shut the door! I'm not stupid!"

"That's a matter of debate," Clara muttered.

"Oh no, by all means, come in with us. I need to show you how to fly her anyway," the Doctor said.

Cartman gave him a wary look but the Doctor put his hands in his pockets and strolled away with Clara following him.

"Hey, wait up, you guys! I'm coming too!" Cartman said, hurrying after them.


"Wow!" Cartman said as he stood inside the Console Room and looked around. "This is all mine!"

Clara, who was standing near the console, snorted at that.

"We'll see about that, Tubby," she muttered to herself.

After going inside, the Doctor told Clara and Cartman to wait before he ran out of the room. It was now ten minutes from the time they entered and the Doctor still hadn't returned.

"Hey, where'd he go?" Cartman finally asked as he walked over to Clara.

Clara shrugged, genuinely not knowing where the Doctor went but she hoped he'd be back with something to shut the kid up. Then, after fifteen minutes, the Doctor entered the Console Room with a panicked look on his face.

"Run, Cartman, I accidentally unleashed it!" he said in a dramatic voice.

"Released wha…"

Cartman was silenced when a big brown furry thing with glowing eyes lumbered into the room and headed towards him.

"Run! It's a Yeti! Run now!" the Doctor said, pointing to the front door. "I can't stop it! Run!"

"Hey!" Cartman yelled at the Yeti as it came towards him with arms outstretched. "You don't scare…"

His eyes widened when the Yeti kept on going and he screamed in terror, spun around and ran out the front door as the Yeti sped up and followed him out.

"THIS IS NOT FUCKING FUNNY, YOU GUUUUUUUUYS!" they heard him scream as Clara ran to the door and looked out.

"Will that kill him?" Clara said, looking back at the Doctor.

"Nah, it isn't real. Just some robot tinkering project I messed about with a few centuries ago. I set it to power down and deactivate after a half hour. I figure that will give it enough time to teach the git a lesson about trying to take things that don't belong to him and being a mouthy, shouty fuckwad. So…shut the door, Clara, and let's leave here before something else happens."

"Fine by me," Clara said, shutting the doors.

"I think 3D for our next adventure will do nicely," the Doctor said as he began to power up the TARDIS.

"Yes, 3D sounds wonderful, right now," Clara said with a nod as she walked towards him.

She stood by him as the TARDIS took off and noticed the impish grin on the Doctor's face.

"What?" she said.

"Respect my authoritah, you guys!" the Doctor said with a perfect imitation of Cartman. "This is my time machine and I own it and you and everyone else!"

"Oh, shut up," Clara said, giving his arm a playful swat.

The Doctor chuckled and Clara relaxed and watched while he input coordinates for their next destination.


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