AM I A GOOD MAN?

Chapter Ten

"It wasn't a premonition as much as it was a memory," Gaz said as the Doctor glared at him and Gaz brushed the hair from his eyes. "We were in the art gallery in my TARDIS and I was showing Rose the three dimensional paintings. We entered the one I have of Gallifrey and…"

"You have a three dimensional painting of Gallifrey?" the Doctor asked.

"Yeah, anyway, we went inside the painting and were looking around when I saw you. You were in your sixth life. I still don't understand why you picked that outfit. What were you thinking? "Hey, I'm the Doctor, but I want to dress up like a bloody clown!"?"

"Get on with it!" the Doctor growled.

"I prevented Rose from seeing you and we went on our way. It was when we got to the Senate that I saw the Valeyard. I remembered who he was and he looked like…," Gaz said then lowered his head.

"Who did he look like?"

"He looked like you! Like this!" Gaz said as he waved his left hand up and down in front of the Doctor.

"And you…You think I'm going to turn into the Valeyard?" the Doctor asked with a slightly shocked look on his face.

"Well, you're acting like a first class wanker, so, yeah, I can see you changing into him," Gaz said, crossing his arms over his chest. "And the reason Rose and I came here was to see if you were alright. Do you know this latest regeneration nearly killed me?!"

"What?"

"The first time you regenerated after you left us behind, I got ill. I had a series of strong seizures then passed out. I woke up three days later. After I got better, I had this craving for fish fingers and custard for about a month and thought everything was cool," Gaz said with a small smile. "I even wore bowties for a bit. I even made this."

The Doctor watched as Gaz reached into pocket of the tan long coat when he removed a sonic screwdriver and the Doctor saw it was the same as the one he used in his eleventh life. Gaz pressed the button as the top of the sonic screwdriver moved up and the prongs spread out. He pushed the button again as the sonic screwdriver returned to normal and he put the sonic screwdriver in the pocket.

"This time though, I felt like I was dying. I have never felt pain like that. I spent a month in a coma with a high fever and some of my organs were failing. When I woke up, I was fine and that's when I realized that you had regenerated…again!"

"I didn't know…"

"Of course you didn't bloody know! You abandoned me! Ok, I know what I did, but you didn't have to chuck me out the door! Do you know how that made me feel?! I'm you! Do you hate yourself that much?! And not only do you do that to me, you do it to Rose! She cried every night for three months after we came back! Even though we were married, I felt so guilty I bloody left!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Did he really leave you?" Clara asked as Rose looked at Gaz and sighed.

"Yeah, he did," Rose said then looked at her feet. "It was my fault. I couldn't handle the thought of him leaving me behind…again."

"How long were you married before he left?"

"It was two months," Rose sighed. "He asked me to marry him two weeks after we got stuck in the other world, but I wasn't ready. My mom told me that I'd come around, but I pushed him away. When he left, I was…happy."

"You were happy he was gone?" Clara asked, wide eyed.

"Yeah," Rose said with a nod. "I didn't care where he was and told my step-dad to arrange a divorce while I went to see if I could get the cannon working again. I didn't care if I tore the universe apart. I wanted to get back to the Doctor."

"What changed your mind?"

"He walked through the door," she said as she looked at Gaz and smiled. "He was wearing these tight jeans, a flannel shirt and his converse and had this dog with him. He was scruffy looking and he needed a haircut. My step-father had told me he knew where he was the whole time and had left him there until I came to my senses."

"What happened after you saw him?"

"Well, after I made him take a long shower and shave, we spent some time really getting to know each other," Rose said as Clara thought for a few minutes then blushed and they softly laughed.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"You left Rose?" the Doctor growled and Gaz saw anger flaring in his eyes. "I gave you to her so she could have the life I couldn't give her!"

"Well, guess what, Grandpa! She wanted a life with you! But, instead of letting her stay, you chucked her out the bloody door!" Gaz shouted.

The Doctor looked at Clara and Rose when he sighed and Gaz titled his head to one side.

"When did you come back?" the Doctor asked.

"I came back a year later. Well, Pete Tyler found me in Scotland and brought me back. I was up in the Highlands, living in this tiny fishing village. I had made friends there and even had a West White Highland Terrier. Some of the villagers thought I was gay because I didn't want to date any of the local ladies."

"What did Rose do when you came back?" the Doctor asked and Gaz looked at Rose, smiling.

"Let's just say we didn't see the outside world for a week nor did we get out of bed except to pee and shower," Gaz said and blew a kiss to Rose.

"How did you get here?"

"Ah," Gaz said as he lifted up his right hand and held up his index finger. "That was my TARDIS' idea. She found a vortex whirlpool and…"

"Are you saying you took your TARDIS into a vortex whirlpool?!"

"No," Gaz said as he elongated the "o". "We went over it then sailed down the middle. The turbulence bounced us around a bit, but we're here."

"And you may never be able to go back," the Doctor sighed and Gaz gave him a blank look.

"We don't want to," he said then thought of something. "Um, what happened to Donna?"

"She…she doesn't' travel with me anymore."

"Why?" Gaz asked as panic set in. "What happened?"

"After you two became the Doctor Donna, her mind started to burn up from all that knowledge."

"No," Gaz said as tears prickled at the corners of his eyes. He knew his half Time Lord mind could handle the knowledge, but Donna was human. "What happened to her?"

"I had to…She was…," the Doctor said and Gaz growled, balling his hands into fists.

"What did you do to her?" Gaz demanded and the Doctor sighed, wiping his face with his hands.

"I had to wipe her mind," the Doctor said softly and Gaz' mouth dropped open.

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