BAHAMA BASH!

Chapter Three

The Doctor and Jeremy walked through the small town searching for a suitable place to hold a wedding. It was a hot, sunny day and most of the people were dressed in shorts and t-shirts and halter tops. Jeremy looked at one tanned blonde woman who was dressed in a sport bra and short shorts.

"Suddenly, I feel overdressed," Jeremy said to the Doctor as he gestured to the blue trousers and maroon t-shirt he was wearing. "We need to put on swim trunks and show off our bods to the women."

"I don't think Rose would appreciate you showing off your bod to strangers," the Doctor said. "You know how defensive she is."

"Yeah but I'd rather have a woman be that defensive rather than be apathetic and not care if I'm chasing after other women. I have to admit I'm still trying to adjust to everything. When you last left us, I assumed you were never coming back and Rose and I tried to make a life of our own and then you show up, not only you but the Beatles as well. Life is strange sometimes."

"Don't I know it, my friend," the Doctor said, patting his shoulder. "There's a church. Let's talk to the vicar and see if he might do the wedding or recommend someone who could."

Jeremy nodded and they headed towards the brick church that was sitting on the corner of the street. While they were doing that, Rory had gone off to explore, Paul was lying back on his blanket soaking up the sun while Jane, Amy, Donna and Rose sat near him and chatted. Paul had a new song going through his mind and was working it out when he became aware that the girls were giggling. He opened one eye and noticed they were all looking his way.

"Problem?" Paul said.

"Yeah, your body. It's so white, I'm sure people can see it from space," Amy said.

"And yours isn't, Pond? You're not exactly tanned either," Paul said, closing his eye.

"I'm not lying around with my shirt off," Amy said.

"Good thing too because with your tiny tits and butch looks, people might mistake you for a man," Paul said as he kept his eyes closed.

"Oooo," Donna, Rose and Jane said.

"What do you think we should do for that remark?" Paul heard Rose say.

"I'm thinking about digging a huge hole, throwing him in and burying him alive," Amy said.

"You can't do that to me, I'm a Beatle," Paul said, with his eyes still closed.

"You know, git, being a Beatle doesn't mean no one can touch you," Amy said.

"Au contraire, I'm god-like, ask my fans," Paul said. "You, on the other hand, are a butch, titless peon who doesn't amount to a hill of beans compared to me."

Donna, Rose and Jane let out another "Ooo" and Paul grinned as he opened one eye and glanced at them. Amy raised her eyebrow when she caught his eye and Paul waved cheerfully before he closed his eye and went back to sunning himself. A shadow fell over his eyelids and he opened one eye and saw Amy standing over him.

"I'm a Beatle," he said, pointing to her.

"I don't care what you are, you're gonna suffer for calling me a titless peon," Amy said.

"A butch, titless peon. Don't forget the butch."

The other women laughed when Paul rolled out of the way just as Amy slammed her fist down on him. He leapt to his feet and Amy and the others watched while he ran off screaming, "I'm a Beatle, can't touch meeeee!" Amy turned to her friends and shook her head.

"You really wanna marry that arrogant bastard?" she asked Jane as she walked back to them.

"Yeah, he's a cute, arrogant bastard," Jane said.

They laughed when Paul did a silly dance on the sand and yelled "Gingers have no souls!" at the top of his lungs while he threw handfuls of sand up in the air. Then suddenly, he froze when someone let out a high-pitched shriek.

"PAUL! AAAH!"

The women laughed when two black girls ran across the beach towards him. Both of them were identical twins with dark brown skin and long black hair that fell down their backs. Paul grinned when the two teenagers stopped about five feet from his body and nearly screamed themselves hoarse at the sight of him.

"Okay, birds, calm down, there's no need to scream," Paul said, holding up his hands.

"What? He's not asking them to get down on their knees and kiss his arse?" Donna said while they watched Paul chat with the two excited females. "I thought he was a god and we were all peons."

"No," Rose said, "I think Amy's the only peon here."

"Yeah and the Beatles gonna get a sore lip if he keeps on calling me that," Amy said.

They laughed when the girls screamed again when Paul kissed their cheeks.

"Wait for it," Amy said to her friends.

They watched while Paul and the girls waved to each other and the girls ran off screaming in ecstasy. The moment the girls were out of sight, Amy got up and ran down to Paul, screaming in imitation of the girls.

"OH MY GOD, IT'S PAAAAAUL!" she screamed while her friends bent over laughing.

"OH MY GOD, IT'S A TITLESS, BUTCH PEEEEEEON!" Paul screamed back.

Amy's friends laughed harder when Amy chased Paul and they ran down the beach, Paul ducking while Amy scooped up sand and lobbed it at him.

"Wait, you can't do that to him, he's a Beatle!" Rose yelled as they ran farther away from them.

"Don't throw sand at our God!" Donna shouted. "It just isn't done!"

"Besides, I want to make love to Paul later and I don't want sand all over me!" Jane yelled before the three women bent over laughing.

They laughed harder when Paul suddenly spun around, rushed Amy, pushed her onto her ass into the surf and then ran away, arms raised while he screamed "Aaaaah!" at the top of his lungs. The two teenagers came back onto the beach, giggling while they watched Amy get up and chase him. One of the girls noticed the other women and she pointed to them and told her friend. Rose waved hello as they climbed up the hill towards them.

"So, you're big Beatles fans, yeah?" she said to them.

"Yeah, Paul's my favorite," one of them said as they sat down on the beach beside them. "Are you?"

"I am, but we're friends of Paul's," Rose said.

The teenagers stared at them in shock.

"You know him personally?" one of the girls said to Rose.

"Yeah. I haven't known him for very long though. Only just met him."

"What's he like?" the girl said.

"Well, he can be sweet but he can be a bit of an arse sometimes," Rose said. "But most of the time he's sweet. What're your names?"

"I'm Jenny," the girl said to her, "and this is Mary, my twin sister."

"Thought you two might be twins," Rose said. "I'm Rose, this is Donna and Jane and the redhead chasing Paul was Amy. There are a few other friends of ours but they're out walking now."

"Do you know the other Beatles?" Mary asked.

"Yup, they're all nice," Rose said. "Do you live here in the Bahamas?"

"Yeah, we live about a mile from here," Mary said. "We used to live in the US but my dad got a job here so we all moved when we were eight."

"How old are you now?" Donna said.

"Fifteen," they said in unison.

Both girls looked over their shoulders when they saw Paul and Amy walking back to them and Rose, Donna and Jane laughed when they screamed and Paul froze.

"Oh no, those girls are now sitting with our friends," they heard Paul said to Amy.

"Guess you'll have to entertain them for the day then. I'm not a Beatle," Amy said smugly as she walked away from him.

"You're an honorary Beatle so that means you have to entertain them with me," Paul said as he followed her.

Paul pointed ahead of him and Donna, Jane and Rose looked over their shoulders and saw Bill and Michele heading towards them from the other way.

"Those are some more of our friends," Rose told the twins, "that's Bill and his fiancee, Michelle."

Bill and Michelle hurried up to Paul and Amy and the four of them stood by the surf while Bill spoke. Rose looked at Donna and Jane when Amy let out a whoop and hugged Bill and Michelle and Paul then patted his brother on the shoulder before they all turned and headed towards the others.

"Who're they?" Bill said, pointing to the teens as they came up the hill.

"This is Jenny and Mary, they're fans of Paul," Rose called to them while the teens waved.

"Um, are they gonna pounce on me if I get too close to them?" Paul said, stopping while the others climbed up the hill.

"You'll behave yourselves, right?" Rose asked the teens.

"Yeah, we won't jump on you, Paul, come up here," Jenny said, beckoning to him.

Paul finished coming up the hill and sat down beside Jane while the others found spots. When they sat down and everyone introduced Jenny and Mary, Bill told them that he and Michelle wanted to get married along with the others. Jenny and Mary smiled when everyone hugged and congratulated them. While they sat and talked with Jenny and Mary and with each other, Rory finally appeared. Amy waved to him.

"Finish with your walk finally?" Amy said as everyone looked at him.

"Yeah and I found something, I think you better come with me and see it for yourselves," Rory said.

Back                         Home                              Doctor Who Main Page                          Next