Chapter Ten

I can’t believe you talked us into doing this,” Martha muttered.

The three of them had landed on the planet Malfexnec. A planet which the Doctor soon discovered was the main player in a galaxy wide slave ring. As always, the Time Lord was eager to stop the injustice and put an end to the slave trading once and for all. But, for that, he knew he needed some help and so he turned to his three loyal companions to assist him in his ambitious scheme. At first they were all for helping him until they found out he was going to be posing as a Rufullian slave hunter and they would be his three slaves he was bringing in to sell. Unfortunately for the women, it was winter on Malfexnec and the three of them were wearing skimpy red leather bras and thongs with red leather collars and leashes. The Doctor, on the other hand, was dressed in a black leather outfit with a long flowing grey cape, black leather gloves and black boots. He wore a helmet on his head and a respirator strapped over the lower half of his face leaving only the eyes visible. Even more unfortunate for the women was the fact that in order to avoid detection, the Doctor had to land the TARDIS a mile away from the stone fort where the slaves were being held. So, there they were, trudging along in the snow behind the Doctor while he held their leashes in one hand and a six foot high wooden staff in the other.

“Come on, Martha, it’s not that far now!” he said, cheerfully.

“Easy for you to say, you’re fully dressed!” Martha shot back. “You couldn’t have landed when it was summertime here?”

“It wouldn’t make any difference, Malfexnec never gets very warm. Even in summertime the temperature doesn’t get much higher than 5 degrees Celsius.”

“I’d take that over nine thousand below!” Donna said, shivering.

She looked at Rose who was trudging along beside her.

“I’m surprised Rose is wearing what we’re wearing. The way you act around her, I figured she would be wrapped from head to toe in a cotton blanket.”

“Oh, God, don’t even mention that. Cotton blanket would feel so good right now!” Rose said, her teeth chattering.

The Doctor stopped and faced them.

“Look, I’m sorry you’re freezing. I don’t like it any more than you do. Especially since you’re dressed as slaves, which is the last thing I would want any of you to be. But, if we’re gonna do this; we all have to look the part. This is the way female slaves dress on this planet and since Rufullians are usually the ones to bring them in, I have to dress as one of their slave hunters. Therefore, I get more clothes than you do. Now,” he said, gesturing ahead to the fort with his staff. “If you notice, the compound is just right there, so you only have a few minutes more in the cold and snow. Now, be the brave women I know you to be and grin and bear it until we get inside, alright?”

The three women nodded and the Doctor turned and walked towards the fort. All three of them held their arms tight around their bodies while their teeth vibrated violently.

“Do you have a plan once we get inside?” Donna asked.

“Um…kinda, sorta, mostly we’ll just play it by ear like we always do,” the Doctor said, glancing back at her.

“Oh, great, I feel tons better already,” Donna replied. “So, how are we supposed to act once we get up there?”

“Um…like you’re enslaved,” the Doctor said, with wide eyes.

“Well, we just became enslaved, didn’t we?” Donna said.

“Yeeeeeah…that’s the point of my being a slave hunter. I hunted you. Why are you asking me this? Are you a method actor or something?”

“No, I just wanna know how subservient we should be. I mean, do we fight you or should we all just cling to your legs, weeping like a bunch of wimps?”

The Doctor paused a moment and considered that. He pointed at Martha with his staff.

“You, show some resistance,” he commanded.

He looked at Donna.

“You…don’t fight because I’m pretty sure you’ll take my head off. So, you just stand there docile as a sheep.”

He gazed at Rose.

“As for you, my pretty one, if you wanna cling, my leg’s free and clear,” he said patting his thigh.

Rose giggled while Donna made gagging noises.

“Oh God, and I suppose you’re gonna do it too,” she said to Rose.

Rose gave her a mischievous grin.

“Maybe, maybe not,” she said, shrugging.

Donna looked at Martha.

“She’s gonna do it, you just know she is,” she said as Rose giggled harder.

The Doctor winked and with a chuckle, turned around and walked the last remaining distance to the fort.

The Doctor sighed as he pounded on the huge wooden door with his staff for the third time.

“Open up, I have slaves and one of them is likely to beat me to death if I don’t get her inside in the next few minutes!” he yelled.

He lowered his staff and tapped his foot impatiently.

“Come on, what’s the holdup?” he muttered.

“Maybe it’s deserted,” Rose suggested.

“If it is, I’m kicking the door down. There’s no way I’m walking back through the snow dressed like this,” Donna said.

The Doctor let out an angry sigh and pounded on the door with his staff.

“OPEN UP!” he screamed as he pounded.

Suddenly, the door opened inward and a shrimpy little man dressed in a heavy fur coat and fur boots stepped up to the Doctor. The Doctor looked him over. The man was at least a foot and a half shorter than he was.

“Hello there, I am Rax, the Rufullian slave hunter. I bring three slaves to sell,” he said. “Are you the guard here?”

“Yeah, I’m Zonk. I’m filling in, Cronk is sick,” he said in a nasally voice. “State your business.”

The Doctor stared at him, shocked.

“Um, I bring slaves; I just said that a minute ago.”

“Oh yeah, sorry it’s the first time I’ve had to do this. Normally, I’m washing pots and pans in the kitchen.”

“Oh, I see…” the Doctor replied.

Zonk walked past him and stared intently at the women.

“Are these the slaves?” he asked, pointing to them.

“Yeeeeeah, do you see anybody else around that would fit that description?” the Doctor said.

Zonk shrugged.

“I normally don’t deal with slaves. I wash the pots and pans in the kitchen,” he said, walking back.

“Okay. Well then, yes, these are slaves and I’m…a slave hunter,” he said, pointing to himself. “I come many moons from far away to sell women to big chief. Got that?”

“Whatever you say,” Zonk said, shrugging. “I don’t usually do this. I wash the pots and pans in the kitchen.”

“Yes,” the Doctor said, resisting the urge to punch him, “and I bet you’re an excellent pot and pan washer too. Now, are you going to let us in, so I can conduct some business or are we going to stand around and hear all about your duties as pots and pans washer?”

“I have to clear this with Bonk,” Zonk said.

The three women groaned.

“Hurry it up!” Donna muttered under her breath to the Doctor.

“Fine, yes, great. Go and get Bonk or whoever you need to get. My valuable property is freezing to death out here!”

“Well, now wait a minute. I’m not sure if I should. You see, I was under the impression that there were certain days when we weren’t accepting slaves. And I thought today was one of those days, but I’m not really sure because I just wash the pots and pans in the kitchen and…”


Zonk stared at her for a moment and then scurried inside and shut the door. The Doctor turned and stared at Donna as Rose and Martha laughed.

“Thank you, Noble for that subservient tone of voice,” the Doctor said to her. “I knew I could count on you to play the part of a slave when the situation required it.”

“Look, I’m sorry, but that wanker was just standing there being a wanker. I don’t care if he washed the bleedin’ pots and pans in the kitchen. I’m half frozen and if he doesn’t open the door in the next couple of minutes, the other half will join it. If I have to scream at the idiot to get him to move, then I’ll do it!”

“Okay, but if they pull your tongue out of your head to keep you quiet, don’t come crying to me,” the Doctor replied.

He turned when he heard the door open up behind him. Zonk stepped out with a clipboard in hand.

“Bonk says it’s okay to take these slaves,” he said.

“Thank God,” Martha muttered.

Zonk took a pen from his pocket, clicked it and held it against the clipboard.

“Name?” he said to the Doctor.

“Rax,” the Doctor said, impatiently.

Zonk wrote that down.

“Last name?” he said looking at him.

The Doctor stared at him.

“Acoricofallipatorius,” he said, angrily.

Zonk wrote that down.

“Date of birth?”

The Doctor was gobsmacked.

“What do you need to know my date of birth for?” he said.

“Paperwork,” Zonk said.

“What does my date of birth have to do with anything?”

“You have to be over the legal age to bring slaves here for sale. Now, date of birth?”

The Doctor sighed.

“86/45/9000,” he said, without thinking.

Zonk wrote that down.

“Names of slaves?”

The three women groaned.

“I don’t know,” the Doctor said, exasperated. “I kidnapped them from a busy marketplace; I didn’t have time to ask their names.”

“All slaves are catalogued by name,” Zonk said.

“Okay then, the red head’s name is Going To Die, the black woman’s name is Freezing To Death, and the blonde’s name is For The Love Of Almighty God Let Me Through The Door. There, that satisfy you?”


The three women groaned as the Doctor threw up his hands. He dropped the leashes and set the staff against the fort wall. Taking off his cloak, he made the three of them huddle close together. Muttering his sincerest apologies for getting them into this mess, he draped it around their blue bodies and pulled it closed. The three women held it closed while the Doctor retrieved his staff.

“They are 24, 29, and…32,” he said, just spewing out numbers.

“Blood types?”

“B, B, F.”


The Doctor stared at him.

“What do you think?” he said, gesturing back to them. “I mean, I know you normally wash pots and pans in the kitchen, but surely, you have had contact with others and know the difference between the sexes!”

“I must ask these questions,” Zonk said.

“Tell me something. Have you ever actually had any slaves make it past the front door or do they all turn into ice lollies and die while they wait for the inquisition to end?”

“I am only doing my job.”

“Yeah, well so am I. My job is to get my slaves inside before they expire of the cold. Now, can’t we just step inside and then continue the Q and A there before I lose my possible sale to the winter wind and snow?”

“I don’t know if that’s allowed.”

“Allow it. I’ll take full responsibility if we get in trouble.”

He sighed when Zonk gave him a blank look.

“Look, you see these women back here? They are minutes from death, and if they die, you better believe you’ll be the next to go. Now, LET US IN!”

Zonk sighed.

“Very well, step inside, but if I get in trouble…”

“I’ll take the blame, I’ll take the punishment. I’ll take anything you dish out, just let me get my girls inside the door, please.”

“Follow me, then.”

The three women rejoiced as the Doctor shoulders slumped with relief. Walking to them, he quickly ushered them inside before they collapsed. Once they were inside, Zonk closed the door and led them down a dark, narrow hallway.

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