Rose was in a silly mood today and she felt like teasing the Doctor for a few giggles. They had just returned from helping a race of green skinned aliens recover from a recent war. There had been several deaths, especially women and children, and both she and the Doctor had felt a bit depressed after seeing the war dead and helping treat the wounded. She decided to cheer herself and her lover up. She dug through her cupboard until she found a dog puppet that she purchased on a whim a year ago. She smiled at the brown dog with black ears. Its felt mouth had a little pink felt tongue inside. She slipped it over her hand and headed towards the console room.

The Doctor was by his monitor while he thought about where he'd like to go next. He sensed Rose coming up behind her and turned his head. He smiled when she approached, hands behind back, and looked back at his monitor. He frowned when he felt something sliding up his back to his shoulder and he was shocked when he looked over and saw a little puppet dog resting its head on his shoulder.

"What are you doing, woof, woof?" Rose said in a very deep voice.

She giggled when the Doctor just stared at the dog puppet.

"Well?" Rose said, opening and closing the mouth while she spoke in the deep voice. "Haven't you ever seen a dog before? My name is Woof and I want to know what you're doing. Woof, woof."

A grin spread over the Doctor's face.

"Well…Woof, I'm deciding where to go next," he said, looking back at the monitor.

"And where are you going neeeeeext?" Rose said in a very deep voice.

The Doctor sniggered at the deep voice and looked at the dog on his shoulder.

"I don't know. Where do you want to go, Woof?" he said to the puppet.


Rose giggled when the Doctor gave the puppet a wide eyed look.

"I'm hungry!" she added when the Doctor said nothing. "I want me some boooones!"

"Rose, are you bored or something?" the Doctor said to her.

"No, I'm randy! I want your leg!"

The Doctor's eyes bulged out when Rose put the puppet on his left leg and mimed humping it while she howled.

"You humans are very strange sometimes," he said while Rose laughed. "I think that's why I keep taking you lot with me so I can study you."

"WOOF WOOF!" Rose said, lunging up into the Doctor's face with the puppet.

She growled at the Doctor while he watched and then made panting noises while she held the dog's mouth open and mimed licking his cheek with the tongue. The Doctor grinned and held up his hand. He folded the fingers into a mouth and opened and closed them.

"Hello, Woof, I'm Time Lord hand. Nice to meet you!" he said, imitating Rose's deep voice while he opened and closed his hand.

"Ha, ha, I have an actual puppet," Rose said.

"Well, this hand can do many amazing things so I'm quite proud of it," the Doctor said in a haughty tone of voice.

His eyes shot open when Rose suddenly pinched his butt.

"Bum inspection, checking for freshness!" Rose said. "Freshness confirmed!"

"What has gotten into you today?" the Doctor said while Rose laughed.

"I want to be happy. We've had too much sadness lately," Rose said.

"I agree wholeheartedly with that!" the Doctor said with a nod.

His eyes bulged when she pinched his butt again.

"Sorry, thought I saw a bum gnome in your trousers. I was trying to pinch its head off."

"Oh yeah?" the Doctor said, spinning around while Rose laughed and backed away. "Maybe I should make a bum gnome inspection then. Those little buggers are feisty and they need to be eradicated."

Rose laughed and ran around the console while the Doctor gave chase. He caught up to her, grabbed her, pulled the puppet off her hand and smacked her repeatedly over the head with it while Rose laughed hysterically.

"Oh no, I'm giving Woof brain damage!" He said as he hit her with the puppet. "What's wrong with me? I'm being a complete bastard to this puppet. Ooops!" he said as he threw it across the room. "Woof is dead now, poor thing."

"Make an evil face," Rose said as he held her in his arms.

"I'm sorry?"

"Look angry."


The Doctor looked angry and Rose put the back of her hand to her forehead.

"Oh, what shall I do?" she said in a melodramatic voice. "The evil alien has me in his clutches. What's next for me?"

The Doctor grinned at that, loving the fact that Rose was trying to cheer him up by being silly.

"Well, I s'pose I'll have to do the obligatory anal probe," he said casually.

"No, not that, please!" Rose said, pretending to get out of his grasp.

"Perhaps a vivisection as well?" the Doctor said in his casual tone of voice while he held his squirming lover tight in his arms. "Brainwashing or perhaps take the brain out and put it in a jar."

"No, anything but that. I don't want my brain in a jar; it's too icky to think about."

"But it would be fun, my little space captive," the Doctor said. "Besides, you can see what it looks like."

"Hey, I could, couldn't I?" Rose said as she stopped squirming. "Okay, sign me up for brain in the jar."

"Nah, too much work. I'll sign you up for acid enema instead."

"Um…no," Rose said, making a face while the Doctor giggled.

"Mind you, I did see that once as a form of execution. Acid enema, very sadistic indeed."

"Yeah, I can imagine," Rose said. "don't fancy seeing that at any time."

"Oh come on, we can have some fun placing bets on how long it takes them to die. I'll set a course for the planet of the acid enemas now!" the Doctor said, letting go and heading to the monitor.

Rose ran over and jumped in front of the monitor.

"No acid enemas ever!" Rose said while the Doctor gave her a wry grin.

"How about pole up the bum?" the Doctor said. "We could go watch a pole up the bum execution."


"Eaten by wild Bunclavas?"

"I don't know what that is and I don't wanna know."

"Stick a nozzle in the mouth and inflate a man like a balloon until he pops?"

"That's impossible," Rose said.

"Not on the planet of the balloon people."

Rose thought that over for a moment.

"Is there a planet of the balloon people?"

"In this big old universe? Possibly?" the Doctor said.

"Oh, I thought you actually knew of one," Rose said.

"I know of a planet of the poo people," the Doctor said.

"Ew, let's give that a miss then," Rose said, making a face.

"Oh, they're very friendly and not as stinky as you might think. They execute their criminals by flushing them down a giant toilet."

"Yeah, right, pull the other one."

"Seriously. They have a huge 500 foot toilet in the town square and they flush their criminals down it," the Doctor said.

"Take us there then," Rose challenged.

"Well, I'd rather not. I might end up down the toilet. I punched a miscreant in the face and put a hole through his head. The Poopians are not too thrilled with me at the moment."

"Poopians?" Rose said.

"Yes, from Pooponia in the Poo-poo galaxy."

"You are so full of…well, you're full of it," Rose said.

"I'm being perfectly honest!"

"Take us there then."

"I just said I'd end up down the toilet if I put foot on Pooponia! Weren't you listening?"


"I'm sorry, what did you just call me?" the Doctor said.

"Coward, chicken, liar!"

"I'm sorry, what was that?" the Doctor said, coming close to her while Rose began backing up.

"Coward!" Rose said.

She squealed when the Doctor chased her around the console.

"I am the Oncoming Storm!" he yelled as he pretended to chase her around the console.

"No, you're the Oncoming Chicken!" Rose said before making clucking noises.

The Doctor stopped by the monitor and pretended to be out of breath.

"I'm so old," he panted. "Can't run anymore. Too old to chase the child around the console."

"Child?" Rose said.

"Well, yes, I'm 902 and you're 5."

He laughed when Rose ran over, snatched the puppet off the floor and ran back to him.

"No, mercy," the Doctor said when she swatted his head with it. "I'm old and I might regenerate into a four headed monster and then you'll be sorry."

"No, I won't. I'll put you in a cage and charge people money to look at ya," Rose said.

"Then you'll be stuck because no one will be able to fly the TARDIS!"

"I'll be rich though."

She laughed when the Doctor seized her and held her close to him.

"Feel better?" Rose said.

"Very much so," the Doctor replied. "I love that you came in here to cheer me up and have a laugh. That's why I love taking people with me. It's better when you're traveling with others who know how to have fun and act silly."

"I agree," Rose said.

"So…Pooponia then?"

"Um…no," Rose said.

"How about planet of the acid enema?"

"How 'bout seeing my mum?"

"Ugh, I'd rather have an acid enema," the Doctor said, making a face.

Rose stood there with him for a moment, loving the feel of his body against hers. Then the Doctor broke the embrace and Rose stepped up to the console with him, listening and loving the sound of his voice while he went over options for destinations for them.


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