DIARY OF A HALF HUMAN TIME LORD

Chapter Fifteen

Jonathon had bad dreams shortly after falling asleep again. He dreamt that he had found the Doctor again and had convinced him to let him speak to him face to face inside the TARDIS.

"Please, you have to help me," Jonathon said when he got inside it. "Not me, but my friend, Suzanne. She needs help. Please find it within your hearts to save her."

The Doctor was sitting on the jump seat looking dejected. HIs jacket was off and in a heap on the floor beside the console. His shirt was wet and rumpled and his hair was plastured to his head. Jonathon couldn't help but pity him. He neared as close as he dared, half afraid the Doctor would lash out at him but the Doctor barely noticed his presence.

"Doctor, please, Suzanne's gonna die if we don't do something," he implored.

The Doctor raised his head and Jonathon swallowed hard when he saw the world weary look on his face.

"Everyone dies," he said in a pained voice.

"Yes, I know that but if there's a way to save her..."

"I don't know what you want me to do to save her, I couldn't even save Donna."

"How'd ya mean?" Jonathon said.

His heart sank as he realized exactly what he meant and he staggered back to the console.

"No, it can't be," he said.

The Doctor nodded grimly.

"She's gone. The real her," he said to Jonathon. "She's dead for all intents and purposes and I can never see her again because if she realizes who I am, it'll destroy her."

Jonathon flinched when he got up but the Doctor only laid a hand on his shoulder as he gave him a sympathetic look.

"There's nothing I can do. I can't bring the TARDIS over, its sealed up again," he said sadly.

"But there has to be a way. You're the Doctor. If anyone can save her, it's you."

"I can't, Jonathon. I can't rip apart reality for one woman. I couldn't do that for Rose and I can't do that for Suzanne. Like Sarah said, everything has its time and everything ends."

Jonathon sank into the jump seat, feeling like his heart was going to stop. the Doctor laid his hand on his shoulder.

"Forgive me," he said to him. "Don't be angry, Jonathon. You have Rose and a whole life ahead of you with her."

"But Suzanne..."

"People die every day, Jonathon. Even you will die one day," he said gently as he squeezed his shoulder. "You can't save everybody, all you can do is be there for her and if she doesn't have much longer to live, make every day count for her."

Jonathon frowned. He suddenly got a sense that this was no ordinary dream. The Doctor, sensing his thoughts, chuckled.

"I'm here and so are you. You've gone out of your body and our souls have met in here in my TARDIS," he said, sitting down beside him. "You came because you want Suzanne to live and you wanted me to help. But there's nothing I can do for her in the waking world. I'm sorry, my friend."

Jonathon frowned.

"Friend?" he said in disbelief.

The Doctor smiled.

"Even though I treated you badly, deep inside I know why you destroyed the Daleks. You did it out of good intentions, not evil and that's why I spared you and let you be with Rose."

He chuckled at the shocked look on his double's face.

"I could have imprisoned you for all eternity. Taken you to Volag Nok and let you rot for the crime of genocide. But I didn't because subconciously I know you're a good person, Jonathon. That's why you're here now begging for my help."

"But there must be a way. There's got to be. It can't end like this, not for her."

"I wish I could help you, Jonathon, I really do, but I can't risk the safety of the universe."

"Then why didn't you give me a TARDIS?" he said angrily. "Why didn't you do it for Rose? You want to condemn her to Earth for the rest of her life? She belongs out in the stars, you know that."

"I know and I'm sorry. I should have done that but things were hectic and confusing for all of us..."

"And you wanted to dump us off as soon as you could so you wouldn't have to deal with us," he spat out.

"No, I wanted to get you away from the battle as quickly as I could because I knew you needed the rest. You need to sort things out."

"I'm doing that but I also want my friend to be safe and healthy."

"Well sometimes that's not possible, Jonathon. Sometimes you have to let people go."

"No," Jonathon said, shaking his head as he stood up. "You may have given up on others but I'm not going to, not while there's a fighting bone left in my body."

The Doctor smiled at that and stood up. He put a hand on his shoulder.

"Then go and do it. Go and give it your best effort and use that brilliant brain of yours. I may not be able to help her but you and Rose can. Go and do what you were meant to do, Jonathon. You're more than a pizza maker, you're a Time Lord and it's time for you to start living your destiny."

Jonathon was shocked by this. The Doctor gave him a sad smile.

"Look at me. Look at what I've become. Life has worn me down. My hearts are broken. I don't think I'll even take any more companions with me from here on out. But you, you have a future, a great future in store although you may not see it now. You don't have to come to me to save Suzanne. I think you are more than capable of saving her yourself. I know I was pessimistic before, but that's just me. My future is the one that looks bleak, mate, not yours."

"Don't talk like that," Jonathon said, shaking his head. "You can rise above what's happened. You can't give up either."

He smiled that sad smile again and nodded.

"You're right. We both have to press on and struggle through everything, come what may. But you need to stop thinking of yourself as less than worthy because you're not, Jonathon. You are a Time Lord, now go and be one. Build something that'll take you and Rose to the stars where you belong and find a way to save your friend. Who knows? Maybe even tell her the truth and you and Rose can have your first companion."

Jonathon thought that over while the Doctor walked over to the console.

"And now, Mister Threefold Man, I must bid you adieu. I fell asleep on the seat here and I feel like I'm about to wake up."

He walked over and embraced Jonathon.

"Forgive me for what I did to you and Rose but it was necessary. You had to be seperated from me to grow into your own person and step away from my shadow so you can be just as great as I am. So that's your task now, my friend. To find who you truly are and become him."

He patted him on the shoulder when Jonathon nodded and smiled at that. The Doctor gave him a warm hug.

"And say hello to Rose for me," he said. "It hurt to see you with her and hear you say the words to her but I'm glad you did. She needed to hear them, not from me, from you because you're the one she's meant to be with. I sincerely believe that."

The Doctor began to fade away.

"Goodbye, my friend. Take care," he said before he disappeared.

Jonathon stood and stared at the empty console room for a moment before he suddenly woke up and found himself back in his body with Rose and Boots fast asleep at his side.

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