DOCTOR DOMESTIC

Chapter Four

"So, next task is cleaning a toilet," Rose said as she and Jackie walked to the bathroom. "Have at it!"

The Doctor entered the bathroom and walked over to the toilet.

"Cleaning in what way or am I allowed to ask that?" he said to Rose after he examined it for a moment.

"Clean the inside of the toilet. Don't worry about the rest of it," Rose said.

The Doctor nodded. He stared at the inside of the toilet bowl, thinking it looked pretty clean already. Rose and Jackie shared a gleeful look when the Doctor just stared at the toilet, completely at a loss at what to do. Then suddenly he had an idea. Smugly, he flushed the toilet and watched the water swirl around the bowl.

"There, toilet's clean," he said to them.

"No, it's not, git!" Jackie said while Rose bent over laughing.

"It is so, the water just cleaned it!" the Doctor said, pointing to the toilet bowl.

"How does this man survive?" Jackie said to her daughter.

"His TARDIS does it all, Mum. That's why I got him away from it," Rose said.

"I have more important things to do than clean the toilets," he said to them. "The toilet bowl looks clean already!"

"That's because I cleaned it this morning," Jackie said. "If I knew you were doing this, I wouldn't have bothered."

"Here," Rose said as Jackie stood back and let her get into the tiny cupboard across from the sink.

She took out some toilet bowl cleanser and closed the cupboard. The Doctor watched while she put a bit of it into the toilet bowl.

"This cleans it? It's turning it blue," the Doctor said while he watched the cleanser slowly streak down the sides to the water below.

"Just watch," Rose said, putting the cleanser on the sink counter.

She reached beside the toilet and grabbed the toilet brush. She showed it to the Doctor before lifting the lid and using it to scrub the toilet.

"This is extremely labor intensive," the Doctor watched while she scrubbed. "You mean to tell me that with all the ingenuity humans possess, they haven't figured out a way to make a self cleaning toilet?"

"They might have done but we certainly couldn't afford it," Jackie said while Rose finished and replaced the brush in the holder. "We're not rich, Doctor. So if there is a self cleaning toilet, I couldn't afford it, which means I have to rely on cleanser and manpower."

"Well, no wonder I had no clue what to do. My TARDIS cleans all my toilets," the Doctor said.

"Yes, I'm beginning to get the feeling your TARDIS does it all," Jackie said.

"Yes, she does," the Doctor said while Rose giggled and put the cleanser back in the cupboard. "She does that so I can explore and be free to do things other than getting on my knees and mucking out toilets."

"Must be nice," Jackie said. "Some of us actually do things ourselves and don't rely on magical machines."

"Some of us aren't Time Lords and have to rely on manpower rather than magical machines," the Doctor said sarcastically.

"Alright, just stop. This is supposed to be fun. I didn't bring you here to get in a shouting match, which is exactly where this is leading," Rose said, stepping between them.

"Fine. Final task is making a bed. You can make Rose's bed then," Jackie said, stepping outside the doorway.

"Easy peasy," the Doctor said as he walked out of the bathroom.

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