Chapter Two

(Now a little interlude…)

Rose sat on the couch in the den quietly watching the television. She looked up when the Doctor came into the room.

“Rose, I need your help,” he said.

“Yeah? With what?”

The Doctor reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out his psychic paper.

“I think my psychic paper’s on the fritz. Can you look at it and tell me what it says?”

He opened it up and held it in front of Rose’s face. She looked at it.

“Um, it says, The Doctor in big, bold letters across the top and Official Knicker Inspector underneath it and underneath that is a picture of your face, and you have an evil grin on your face and a randy look in your eyes.”

“Oh good, I guess it is working then,” the Doctor said, putting the psychic paper back in his pocket. “I guess it was just my imagination then. Thanks, Rose.”

Rose rolled his eyes when he ran out of the room laughing insanely.

(End interlude…)

“Oh, it’s so good to see you, Jack,” Rose said, hugging him, when he came on board the TARDIS.

“Good to see you too, Rose, both of you,” he added, smiling at the Doctor.

Rose went over and hugged Ianto.

“And it’s good to see you too, Ianto,” she said.

“Yeah, you too, Rose, I’m glad the Doctor is letting us travel with him for our holiday. It’ll be nice to take a break from Torchwood for awhile.”

“Hey, anytime you guys need a break, you are always welcome here,” the Doctor said, smiling.

He closed the door.

“Make yourselves at home, while I get the TARDIS into the vortex,” he said, walking back to the console.

“I’m so glad you like playing pool, Ianto,” Rose said, watching him aiming his pool cue.

“Well, Jack and I like to play,” Ianto said. “Actually, I’ve become quite good at it, which angers him since he likes to win at everything.”

He smiled when the six ball went into the side pocket.

“Yeah, the Doctor’s the same way. If I beat him at anything, he acts like it’s the end of the world or something.”

Ianto aimed his cue at another ball. Just then, the Doctor and Jack entered the rec room. Rose and Ianto stared at the bras they were wearing on their heads.

“Doctor, what the hell are you doing with my bras?” Rose asked.

“Well, it’s a funny story. Jack and I just finished watching the movie, ‘Weird Science’, and we were inspired by the scene where the boys try to bring a doll to life. So we thought we would try the same thing and see if we could make a companion for you.”

Rose stared at him, stunned.

“You’re serious.”

“I’m always serious…well, most of the time anyway,” he said.

Rose sighed.

“You are actually going to try to bring a sodding Barbie doll to life?”

“Well, it’s a Bratz doll actually.”

Rose raised her eyebrow.

“Where did you get a Bratz doll?”

She held up her hand when the Doctor started to speak.

“Never mind, I really don’t wanna know,” she said. “I just can’t believe you would be that stupid.”

“It’s not stupid! We’re doing it in the name of scientific inquiry. Right, Jack?”


Ianto looked at him.

“Since when are you interested in scientific inquiry?” he asked Jack.

“Um…since now.”

Ianto looked at Rose.

“I’m not going to comment on that, especially since the “scientists” are standing there with bras on their heads,” he said to her.

“That was a part of the experiment,” Jack said, quickly.

“Come on, Jack,” the Doctor said. “Let’s leave them to their game. We have scientific boundaries to break.”

“Yeah, enjoy the game. The Doctor and I are going to be famous once the experiment works, and we publish our results.”

Ianto and Rose looked at each other and rolled their eyes.

“I believe it was still my turn, Rose,” Ianto said.

He aimed his cue, ignoring the Doctor and Jack, as they walked out of the room.

(One hour later…)

Rose let out a whoop and pumped her fist in the air.

“Yes, I won!” she said.

Ianto smiled.

“Another game, then? I want another chance to beat you.”

“Sure, but I’m betting you won’t.”

Ianto chuckled.

“We shall see,” he said.

He reached into the pockets and started pulling out the balls.


Both of them froze when they heard an explosion, followed by the Doctor and Jack’s high pitched screams.

“DOCTOR!” Rose screamed, throwing her cue to the floor.

Both she and Ianto ran from the room and sprinted down the hallway, screaming the Doctor and Jack’s names.

They turned the corner and stopped short when they saw the Doctor and Jack emerging from a smoke-filled room. Both their faces were black, their hair was smoking, and the bras has been burned to a crisp. Rose and Ianto ran up to them, as they coughed and waved the smoke away.

“Doctor?” Rose said.

The Doctor looked at her.

“Um…Rose, word of advice to you and Ianto, never try to recreate what you see in the movies.”

He looked at Jack.

“Come on, let’s go get a shower and put our hair out,” he said to him.

“Sounds good to me,” Jack coughed out.

The Doctor paused, reached up, and pulled the remains of the bra off Jack’s head. He stared at it for a moment and then gave Rose a sheepish look.

“Um, I’ll buy you new bras,” he said.

He cleared his throat when Rose gave him a look of death, and he and Jack inched around her. They ran like mad for the showers while Rose sighed and muttered curses under her breath.

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