Chapter Ten

Rose yawned as she entered the TARDIS kitchen. It was morning by her watch and she was hungry. She walked over to the fridge, opened it and got out some eggs, bacon and milk. As she put them on the counter, she paused and thought. In all her time traveling with the Doctor she had never seen him go to the grocery store. Jack and Ianto didn't go and neither did she, so how come the fridge was always stocked? She posed the question to the TARDIS and felt her answering in her mind.

I do it, she thought to Rose.

"How?" Rose asked.

Ask for something.

"Okay... um, I want some bangers on a plate."

There was a flash of light and the requested item appeared in an empty space on the top shelf of the fridge. Rose picked up one of the bangers and examined it. She sniffed it and tasted it.

"It's good," she said to the TARDIS. "Can you make any food appear?"

The TARDIS grunted an affirmative. Intrigued, Rose decided to try a little test. She closed the refrigerator door and stared at the round dining room table in front of her.

"Okay, on this table, I want to see a huge silver platter filled with bacon butties, a huge bowl of chicken soup, a huge omelet on a purple plate, a plate of sushi and a three tiered wedding cake with blue frosting and a little plastic smurf figurine on top. Go!"

There was an enormous blinding flash and everything appeared. The wedding cake was in the center of the table with the other items spread around it. Rose nodded.

"Impressive," she said.

Just then, the Doctor entered the room and smiled at her.

"Mornin' Rose, another glorious day, time to get out there and explore and... "

He trailed off when he noticed the dining room table for the first time. He walked over to it and stared down at the silver platter heaped with bacon butties. Rose coughed nervously.

"Um, I just found out that the TARDIS supplies all the food for us, so I was just testing her and..."

"Rose!" the Doctor said, cutting her off.

He smiled from ear to ear.

"How'd ya know I had a craving for bacon butties this mornin'?" he said.

"I didn't. I just picked things at random and..."

She gasped when the Doctor bounded over and pulled her into a tight bear hug.

"You knew I wanted bacon butties!" he said happily. "My Rose who knows just what I want and when I want it came through for me again!"

Rose smiled and returned the hug, happy that the Doctor was happy. She smiled when he gave her a huge kiss on the forehead.

"My faithful companion who thinks of me and my needs! How did I ever get along without you?"

She blushed at that.

"I try," she said, shrugging.

She gasped when the Doctor hugged her tighter and nearly took all the air from her lungs.

"I am so happy you thought of bacon butties, Rose. Now I have something I can snack on while I fix the hyperdimensional transmogrifier this morning."

He released her, walked over to a cabinet and pulled out a little plate. Humming happily, he strolled over to the platter and eyed the sandwiches with barely contained glee.

"I think ten will do for starters," he said to himself.

Rose watched while he balanced ten bacon butties on the little plate. When he was done, he eyed his handiwork happily.

"Bacon butties, my Rose thinks of everything," she heard him say.

He was about to leave when he noticed the smurf on top of the cake. He looked at Rose.

"Um... is there a reason why there's a smurf on top of this wedding cake?" he said to her.

"No reason, that was just part of my test," Rose replied.

"Do you want it?"


"Good because I wasn't gonna let you have it anyway."

Balancing the plate with one hand he used the other to pluck the smurf from its perch. He licked the cake and frosting off its feet, wiped the saliva off on the front of his jacket and shoved it in his pocket. He pointed to the platter.

"I claim these in the name of my stomach, so guard them with your life because I'll be back for the rest," he said sternly.

He smiled at her. Whistling, he turned and walked out of the room.

"Okay, so do you expect me to just stand here and keep an eye on your bacon butties, Doctor?" she muttered. "Because if that's what you're hoping, I got some bad news for ya."

She looked over as Jack strolled into the room.

"Mornin' Rose," he said to her. "Or what passes for morning here. Honestly, I don't know how you ever got used to keeping track of time on this thing because I never did and... oh my God, I found the mother load!"

He stared at the table with delight. To Rose's horror, he focused in on the bacon butties.

"I think I'll help myself to a few of these babies," he said, reaching for them.

"No, wait! You can't."

Jack stared at her.

"Why not?"

"Those are the... Doctor's bacon butties," Rose said sheepishly.

"Did he make them?"

"Um... no, the TARDIS did."

"Then the TARDIS can make more. I'm hungry and this is the only thing that looks good to me."

Before Rose could say anything, he grabbed the platter and walked out the door.

"Oh bugger, now I'll never hear the end of this," Rose moaned. "I better replace them quickly."

She was about to ask the TARDIS for another platter but before she could do it, the Doctor entered with his empty plate and an eager look in his eyes.

"Right, next helping," he said.

He stopped short when he noticed a huge gaping hole in the table. He stood there staring at it, trying to work out where his beloved bacon butties had gone to. He looked under the table and all around the room before his eyes settled on Rose.

"Rose, curious thing just happened. The bacon butties have scarpered. By chance did you see where they went? Because I remember asking you to keep an eye on them for me."

"Jack took them," Rose said softly.

She flinched when the Doctor stared at her with a hard look on his face. He slowly walked over and looked directly into her eyes.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but I seem to remember asking you mere moments ago to guard the bacon butties with your life. Why is it that Jack Harkness still lives then and not only lives, but is now eating the rest of my early morning snack? Explain yourself."

"I couldn't stop him."

"Did you even try?"

"Um, I told him to stop."

"You... told... him," the Doctor said slowly. "Why didn't you break his legs off at the knees?"

"Doctor, the TARDIS can make more," Rose pointed out.

"That is not the point. I gave you an instruction and I expected it to be carried out without any excuses. You are my eyes, ears and muscle when I'm elsewhere and I depend on you to keep Jack Harkness's sweaty monkey paws off my property. You didn't do so and now instead of enjoying the rest of the delicious bacon butties, I have to live with the knowledge that they are now residing in monkey boy's gut. For shame, Rose, I shall have to give you a demerit for this."

"What does that mean?" Rose said.

"It means that you are going to lose one of your privileges until you redeem yourself in my eyes."

"And what privilege do I lose?" Rose said, folding her arms over her chest.

"You lose the right to view my good side until further notice. So until I say so, gaze only at the left side of my face. If I catch you looking at the right half, I will be even more severe and you will find yourself with a paper bag over your head so you can't look at me or anything else. For shame, Rose Tyler, for shaaaaaaaaaaaaaame!" he said, wagging his finger at her.

Rose rolled her eyes when he turned and sauntered out of the room.

"Yeah, I'm just sooooooo scared, Doctor," she muttered to herself as she went back to fixing her breakfast.

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