DOCTOR WHO SILLY STORIES
Chapter Eleven "Ah! The planet Noel! The Christmas planet!" the Doctor as he, Rose, Ianto and Jack stepped outside. "Perfect place to spend the holidays. Nothing but Christmas stuff as far as the eye can see." The Doctor's three companions stood close by him while he shut the TARDIS door. There was a large Christmas village in front of them with Victorian houses that were covered with fake snow. In their yards were snowmen, igloos, Christmas lights, decorations and other Christmas things. Christmas lights were strung across poles that lined the path between the houses lighting the way and giving the whole place a festive look. They also noticed that mounted on the poles were speakers and these were currently blaring out a Christmas song that sounded as if it were written by a five year old kid. Christmas time and jingle bells The singer of the song had a high-pitched voice that made him sound like he was sucking helium. They also had the volume cranked up which meant there was no way to tune the song out. Even the Doctor who usually didn't let things faze him was annoyed at it. "Isn't there someone who can turn that down? It's annoying," Rose said to the Doctor. "Dunno, I s'pose we can find a manager. Just follow me in the meantime; we'll try to have fun while our ears are bleeding." They walked over to the first house, a Victorian three story wooden house that was painted lavender. There was a large lighted Christmas tree in the front yard. The white lights on the tree threw a soft light on the fake snow around it. They stopped to admire it for a moment before they walked up the path. They walked up three wooden steps to the veranda. The Doctor knocked on the door and they waited. While they were waiting, Jack noticed movement in the large picture window by the door. He turned his head and saw a midget man glaring at them. The man had snow white hair and beard and was wearing a Christmas green elf suit that was trimmed with white fur. "Um…Doc…" he said. The Doctor looked back at him and looked where he was pointing. He waved to the man. "Can we come in?" he said slowly so the man could read his words. The door opened while they stared at the man and they turned their heads to see a little midget woman dressed in a similar elf suit. She had long snow white hair that matched the man's and she had golden spectacles perched on her large bulbous nose. She smiled warmly. "Hello, welcome to our home, please come inside," she said in a slightly high pitched voice. "Thank you," the Doctor said. "The other man seemed a bit unfriendly, the one at the window." "Oh, that's just Gazonk, my husband, he's always that way. I'm Ruffula and I'm happy to have you here. Would you like a tour?" Everyone nodded and Ruffula started to lead them through the house. They listened to her pointing out different Christmas objects on her tour. Rose was so interested in her descriptions of antique Christmas ornaments that it took her awhile to sense someone was behind her. She looked over her should and saw Gazonk following her. She smiled at him but he returned it with a neutral expression. Rose turned her head around, rolled her eyes and decided to ignore him. Ruffula was telling them about a delicate Christmas ball ornament, a dark blue ornament with golden swirls when Rose suddenly felt a hand on her ass. She looked around and noticed Gazonk was now resting with his hand propped on her ass while he looked at something behind him. Rose sighed angrily and took three steps forward, getting away from his hand. She returned the glare when Gazonk glowered at her. She was about to say something more when Ruffula finished talking about the ornament. She put it back on the wooden shelf and led them on. Rose shot Gazonk a warning look as she followed Jack and Ianto. As she followed everyone into the kitchen, her anger faded and her stomach growled at the scent of the stew bubbling on the antique cast iron stove. Ruffula asked if they wanted a bowl and everyone nodded eagerly. Ruffula pointed to a wooden table and they sat down while she went to fetch some bowls. Rose sat down and stiffened when Gazonk pulled out the chair beside her and sat down. She looked at him and Gazonk smirked back. "I'm sorry, is there something you want?" Rose said to him. "No, just makin' sure you don't steal anything from us," Gazonk said. "We won't steal," Rose said, incensed. "However, you better keep you little hand off my arse, got it?" Gazonk said nothing and Rose shook her head, let out an angry sigh and ignored him while she watched Ruffula ladle stew into little white bowls. Then her eyes widened when she felt Gazonk poke her side, right under her right breast. She jerked her head around but Gazonk was sitting calmly waiting for his food. He caught her eye and snorted at her. "I'm warning you, keep your hands off me," Rose growled at him. "My hands are right here," Gazonk said, holding them up to her. "I ain't touching your pale little body." "Just…keep to yourself," Rose said, fighting the urge to hit him. She turned her head back to Ruffula who was passing out the bowls to everyone. Then she felt the finger poke her breast and she jumped up. "Listen, ya git! I told ya, hands off!" she yelled, startling everyone except for Gazonk who glared at her. "Rose, what's going on?" the Doctor said. "He's…touching me. He put his hand on my arse and now he touched my side and my breast." "I did not. The woman's lyin'," Gazonk said when everyone glared at him. "I'm just sittin' here waiting for my food and this woman is hallucinating and blaming it on me!" "You're gonna be the one hallucinating when I give you brain damage!" Rose growled at him. "Rose, sit down, calm down, yeah?" the Doctor said as he sat across from her. "In fact, come and sit beside me and that'll settle the matter." Rose nodded. She glowered at Gazonk who let out another snort and sneered as she quickly walked around him, went around the table and sat down beside the Doctor. Ruffula set her bowl down in front of her and gave her a spoon. Then she went back to give Gazonk his food. Rose tasted the stew and smiled at how delicious it was. The stew meat was tender and the vegetables were flavorful. She could tell from everyone else's contented grunts and moans that they agreed with how good it was. "This is wonderful, do you have recipe?" Jack asked Ruffula. "I think I could copy it down for you," Ruffula said, giving him a glass of milk. "Just enjoy your meal in the meantime." "That is a request I can fulfill with no problem," Jack said. They all ate their meal while Ruffula poured their milk. Suddenly, Rose felt Gazonk's hand go up inside her legs and touch her crotch. Anger flared up in her mind and she quickly ducked her head down but she couldn't see anything. She looked up and Gazonk was across from her, calmly eating his stew. The Doctor paused mid-chew when he noticed Rose had stopped eating and was shooting daggers at Gazonk. He swallowed the food in his mouth. "What's wrong?" "He touched my crotch, that's what's wrong," Rose said, pointing to Gazonk. "I did not! I'm just sitting here, enjoying my meal, ya daft woman!" Gazonk said to her. "I think what's wrong is you fancy me and you're fantasizing me feeling you up." "No thanks, I prefer men that don't come up to my knee," Rose said angrily. "I've been sitting here the whole time. Maybe you're imagining things and blaming it on me," Gazonk said. "If I were you, I'd take her to a psychiatrist because she's bonkers." Rose gnashed her teeth but the Doctor grabbed her arm and shook his head when she started to protest. "I'm not imagining it, Doctor," she protested. "He's lying!" "Ruffula, is it possible for us to eat in the other room so Rose and Gazonk won't have to look at each other?" the Doctor asked her. "Yes, you can eat in the living room. Gazonk, you stay here." "Why me? She's the one that's off her trolley! Make her sit on the hard chair and eat," Gazonk protested. "No, sit here, they're our guests," Ruffula said. "You're guests, they're not mine," Gazonk muttered. Rose snorted and rose from her seat. She took her bowl, spoon and glass and walked out of the room. She bristled when she heard Gazonk mutter, "Crazy bitch," behind her back but she kept on walking. She was behind everyone else and halfway to the living room, she felt Gazonk's finger go up between her legs and touch her crotch. She spun around and let out a triumphant yell when she saw Gazonk running back into the kitchen. "SEE! I WASN'T LYING! HE'S A PERVERT!" Rose said, laying her dishes down on a nearby table. "That's it; I'm leaving before the rapist pulls down my trousers and has a go at me. See you lot later!" Before anyone could protest, Rose stomped past them, hurried to the front door and left them behind.
Deck the halls and rooms and shelves
Santa Claus is coming soon
He'll be whistling a cheery tune
Reindeer prancing on the roof
Can't ya hear each one's hoof?"
Sing it now; sing it strong
Let's celebrate Christmas all year long.
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