DOCTOR WHO SILLY STORIES

Chapter Thirteen

"EVERYBODY OUT OF OUR WAY! WE'RE BEING CHASED BY ROBO RUDOLPH!" Jack screamed as he, Rose and Ianto fled through a shop.

The patrons gave them odd looks but ten seconds later everyone was fleeing for their lives when the reindeer crashed through the back wall and nearly destroyed the small shop as they ran through it. Jack, Rose and Ianto ran out the front door and jumped off the porch, turning to the left and running through the busy street, screaming at everyone to run and hide. Once again, they were given odd looks until the reindeer crashed through the front wall of the shop and chased after them.

"We gotta find someplace to hide!" Jack yelled to his friends while they ran. "Hey, Grandma! Move or you really will get run over by a reindeer!" he yelled to an elderly lady as he ran past.

The grandmother screamed, threw up her walking frame and hit the ground as the reindeer thundered past her. Ianto pointed to a house with an open door and all three of them turned, ran up the stairs to the porch and ran inside it.

Meanwhile, the Doctor was strapped to a table that was positioned up and slightly tilted back 25 degrees. He was strapped down with leather straps that kept his wrists, ankles, chest, legs and arms to the metal table. He was in a room that surprisingly was pretty festive given he was a prisoner. There were Christmas lights all over the wood paneled room and a pretty green Christmas tree in the corner with gaily decorated presents heaped under it. On the red carpeted floor was a toy train that was going around and around on toy train tracks. The Doctor could swear it was somebody's home at Christmas if he wasn't strapped to a big metal table in the middle of all of it.

"Hello?" the Doctor called out. "Father Christmas? Did you do this? Have I been a bad boy this year? Yoo-hooooo, Santaaaaaaa!"

A door beside him opened and the Doctor jerked his head around.

"Father Christmas, you do exist!" he said. "I want a bicycle and..."

He trailed off when the man came through the door. He stared at him silently. The man was tall, thin, late 60's and was dressed in a long brown robe with a wide white stripe running down the front of it. He had long brown hair that went down his back and brown eyes that had a maniacal look to them. But the most unusual thing was the fact that he was wearing a brown beanie cap with fake reindeer antlers attached to them, antlers that were decorated with blinking Christmas lights. The Doctor was speechless as the man approached him.

"Um, okay," the Doctor said when he finally found his voice, "I'm assuming you're the mayor of crazyville then?"

"I am... the Deer Master."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"The Deer Master."

The Doctor stared at him as he neared the table. His eyes slowly went up to the Christmas lights blinking around his antlers and he gazed at them in a hypnotic silence.

"AND YOU!"

The Doctor snapped out of his reverie when the Deer Master spoke.

"You will be my latest servant and you will serve me faithfully, once the conversion and brainwashing is complete."

The Doctor stared at him, then his eyes slowly went up to the blinking Christmas lights and he gazed at them in a hypnotic silence. The silence was broken when the man turned and walked away from them. The Doctor was shocked to see the man had sewn a fake deer tail onto the back of his robe and he realized the white stripe must represent a deer's belly. A smile spread over his face and he began to snigger.

"What's so funny?" the Deer Master said.

"Um... where do you want me to start?" the Doctor said with a huge grin. "I'm sorry, but why the Deer Master. Deer are one of the gentlest animals on the planet, hardly a weapon in the hands of an evil megalomaniac."

"Ah, true. But under my guidance, my children will become the most feared animals on the planet. For you see, as a young child, I had a near death experience after I frightened a deer and it ran into me and kicked me in the head as I fell to the ground. While I was dead, the Deer God came to me and told me I was the chosen one, that I must lead my brothers and sisters to world domination! I... what's so funny?"

"I repeat, where do you want me to start?" the Doctor said. "So what will happen to me? Will I become part deer/part Time Lord and become your venison slave?"

"No, you shall become an elf."

The Doctor frowned.

"Huh? Why?"

"Because elves are expert at raising and handling deer. That is why Father Christmas employs them."

"I... see," the Doctor said. "Um... so Father Christmas is real then?"

"Of course, who do you think the Deer God is?"

The Doctor stared at him. Then his eyes slowly went up to the blinking lights on his antlers and he stared at them in a hypnotic silence.

"NOW!"

The Doctor snapped out of his reverie again when the Deer Master spoke.

"Prepare for your conversion, my newest slave!"

"Wait, those metal deer, those were yours?" the Doctor said, asking him a stupid question in an effort to keep him talking.

"Why, yes, you didn't figure that out?" the Deer Master said, turning to him in shock.

"I'm dim, that's why I could get captured by farting reindeer," the Doctor replied with a goofy look on his face. "I have a very low IQ. Sad, really, but what can you do? Duuuuuuh!"

The Deer Master came close to him. The Doctor stared at him and then slowly his eyes went up to the...

"You do not appear to be stupid."

The Doctor's gaze was stopped when the Deer Master spoke, he looked at his face as the Deer Master studied him intently.

"As long as you can carry out commands, you do not need to be a super genius," the Deer Master finally said.

"Yes, but that's just it, I'm not that clever. Duuuuuh!"

"You lie and you're hiding something as well!"

The Doctor stiffened when the Deer Master put his fingers against the Doctor's temples. He threw up mental barriers just in case the Deer Master really could read his thoughts. He cocked his eyebrow when the Deer Master closed his eyes and made a sort of gurgling noise that sounded like he was drowning in his own saliva. Then he went quiet and the Doctor's eyes slowly went up to the blinking lights...

"There is another!"

The eyes focused back on the Deer Master's face. The Deer Master chuckled.

"Yes, there is another. You care for her deeply."

The Doctor narrowed his eyes and threw up another barrier around his mind. Suddenly, the Deer Master didn't seem that much of a joke to him.

"What if I were to bring her here and enslave her beside you?"

"Leave her alone! I'm warning you!"

"Aha! You are no match for me, Bob!"

The Doctor frowned.

"Bob?" he said.

"Yes, that is your real name, I saw it, my mind reading powers are absolute."

"I... see..." the Doctor said, his estimation of the Deer Master suddenly lowering back to zilch. "What is the name of the one that I care for then?"

"Ruth!" the Deer Master proclaimed confidently.

"That's amazing; I can't believe you did that. You actually read my mind!" the Doctor said with mock astonishment.

"Yes, I am multitalented, aren't I? And now, Bob, you will do as I say or Ruth dies!"

"No," the Doctor said melodramatically. "Not Ruth, spare my beloved Ruth's life, I beg of you!"

"Beg some more, Bob!" the Deer Master said with glee.

The Doctor had to fight to keep from laughing.

"Oh please, spare my beloved Ruth, I can't bear the thought of her being a slave of the Deer Master, the greatest fiend in the universe," he said melodramatically, actually beginning to enjoy the whole exchange despite being strapped to a table. "I will do anything to spare Ruth from that dark fate!"

"Too late, Bob, for she is nearly in my clutches along with your brothers, Simon and Bartholomew!"

The Doctor let out a soft snigger before composing himself again.

"No, not Ruth, Simon and Bartholomew! Spare them!" the Doctor said as campily as he could. "Spare them from reindeer servitude! Take me, poor, pitiful Bob! I will serve you mindlessly if you'll spare Ruth, Simon and Bartholomew!"

"Too late! My mechanical servants nearly have them and once they are in my grasp, the conversion and brainwashing can begin. So say your prayers, Bob! Because soon you will be my slave!"

The Doctor watched as he left the room. He smirked, waiting for the moment the Deer Master met Ruth, Simon and Bartholomew.

Back                         Home                              Doctor Who Main Page                          Next

Your Name or Alias:      Your E-mail (optional):

Please type your review below. Only positive reviews will be posted! Constructive criticism will e-mailed to the author.