Chapter Fifteen

The Doctor pounded a frustrated fist on the extra large door.



The Doctor shut up when he heard Jack's voice on the other side of the door.

"Yes, it's me. The Deer Master has locked me in here and he's made me into an elf! Try to get the door open."

There was a short pause and then he heard Jack mutter, "Made him an elf?" before he heard him fiddling with the door. There was a click and the Doctor stepped back so he, Rose and Ianto could come inside. To his horror, once they were inside, he realized that they had been shrunk down as well since they were around the same height as he was.

"Oh no, he's made you into elves as well?" he said to Jack.

"Um... no, Doctor, no one's made you into an elf," Jack said.

"Yes, he has. Look at the door, look at the furniture," the Doctor said to him. "Look at this beard. I'm an elf."

Rose walked over to a chair and examined it. She walked around the back.

"Doctor, you're not an elf and I can prove it," Rose said, walking back to him.


Rose took his hand and led him back to the chair. They went to the back of it and Rose pointed to a large white tag hanging off the back.

"Read this, Doctor," she said.

The Doctor stepped in front of her, grabbed the tag and read it. It said...



"It's a fake oversized chair," Rose said.

The Doctor stared at the tag for a moment while his mind processed that. While he was doing that, Jack walked over to him. He stared at the beard intently and then tapped the Doctor on the shoulder. When he looked up, Jack grabbed the beard and yanked it off his face as the Doctor yelped in pain. Then he handed him the fake beard and folded his arms over his chest while he gave the Doctor a pointed look. The Doctor examined the beard, then the chair and his face slowly turned crimson when he realized that he'd been deceived.

"Right, that tears it! Out of my way, everyone, that fucker must die!" he said as he headed for the door.

Jack, Ianto and Rose followed the Doctor through the building while he screamed over and over for the Deer Master to show himself. In his search for his nemesis, he happened to find his clothes and hurriedly changed back into them before continuing the search. On the way past a window, he happened to look out and see a large stable with reindeer inside them. Playing a hunch, he headed for the nearest exit on the stable side and stomped out to it with Jack and Rose tailing along. He entered the stable and saw his quarry at the back of it.

"There you are. You are in for the arse kicking of your life. No one humiliates me and gets away with it!" the Doctor said as Jack, Rose and Ianto followed behind him.

"You may have escaped my brainwashing but you will never defeat my children," the Deer Master said as he quickly opened a stable door beside him.

He hurried inside and came out carrying a reindeer fawn in his arms.

"Behold, Bob, your doom. This is Diablo and he will make short work of you once I let go of him."

The Doctor and his companions stopped and the Doctor stared at the cute, fuzzy deer shivering with fright in his arms.

"Oh, really?" he said while his companions shared a look. "Well, do your worse, I'm not afraid of Diablo!"

"Get him, my pet, destroy Bob!"

He dropped the deer and everyone watched as it bounded past the Doctor and went out the stable door. Everyone waited but Diablo didn't come back.

"What's Diablo gonna do, lie in wait and ambush me?" the Doctor said.

"Diablo was weak. He was unfit to be my minion but you will not escape Hades!"

The Doctor sighed angrily when the Deer Master threw open another stable door and went inside. They heard him struggling with something and then watched as he tried to pull a female reindeer out of her stable while she resisted.

"Get him, Hades! Kill Bob and his lover and brothers!"

The Doctor looked back at his companions when Hades stepped on the Deer Master's foot and then butted him with her head, knocking him to the ground. Then the deer went past her master and walked slowly towards the Doctor.

"Hello, love," the Doctor said, stroking her neck when she came up to him and sniffed. "Feel sorry for you, the pet of this loon. I'm surprised he feeds you."

Hades walked past him and sniffed Rose. Rose smiled and she, Jack and Ianto stroked the deer while the Doctor put his hands in his pockets and casually walked over to the Deer Master who was getting to his feet.

"You will never escape me! I am invicible!" the Deer Master said as the Doctor stopped a few feet away and gazed at him calmly. "I will defeat you!"

Suddenly, the Deer Master barreled into him, knocking him back. He ran past the Doctor and shoved Jack when Jack tried to make a grab for him.

"YOU'VE NOT HEARD THE LAST OF ME, BOB! I WILL DEFEAT YOU ONE DAAAAY!" he screamed as he ran out the door.

"So..." Jack said, "what do we do? We go get him?"

"Nah, he's just an insane old man. Let him be. Perhaps someone around here can get him help," the Doctor said to him. "Let's go talk to his so-called slaves."

"Slaves?" Ianto said.

The Doctor snorted and told them about the Deer Master's claim that the other elves in the village were his slaves.

"Somehow, I doubt it, given that he's lied about everything else," the Doctor said. "At any rate, we can get the old bugger some psychiatric help before we leave and make sure these deer are well cared for by someone who doesn't have designs on taking over the world with them."

He stroked Hade's back along with the others. Then they carefully put her back in her stable, found Diablo and put him back, made sure they and the other deer were fed and watered and left to find someone to talk to about the Deer Master.

"Well, that was... interesting," Jack said when they were all back inside the TARDIS. "And informative too. At least we found out the robo deer were stolen from an animatronic exhibit. That explains those things. Question is, will we ever see him again? I mean, no one could find him."

"Perhaps the Doctor is underestimating him and he's lying in wait for him, ready to turn him into an elf the next chance he gets," Rose said, wiggling her finger. "Ooooooo, think of it, Doctor, the Deer Master will be back and you are doooomed!"

"Yeah, forgive me if I don't change my soiled from fear underwear right away," the Doctor said dryly while his companions laughed. "In the meantime, it's onwards and upwards and on to new adventures. So hold on to your hats, my friends, because we are on to our next adventure!"

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