Chapter Seventeen

Rose was standing beside the Doctor while he fiddled with his console. She laughed when he did his usual little dance around it. Then suddenly he froze and got an odd look on his face.

"What is it?" Rose said.

"Follow me," the Doctor said, beckoning to her as he walked past.

Rose, her curiosity peeked, followed him. The Doctor led her out of the room and down a couple of corridors before he stood in the middle of one. Rose came up beside him and watched while he slapped the roundels in a random pattern. After slapping the tenth one, the wall slid open and Rose stepped back in shock.

"Whoa, a secret passage, how come you didn't tell me…"

She trailed off when the Doctor didn't respond but quietly walked through the wall into a secret passageway. Rose followed behind him into darkness. She looked around and panicked when the wall slid back, plunging them into darkness.

"Um…Doctor, I can't see."

The moment the words left her mouth, roundels lit up above them, providing ample light. Rose shrugged and followed the Doctor. They turned the corridor up ahead and Rose was shocked to see cartoon birds flying around their heads as if they were in a Disney film. She watched while cartoon deer and raccoons and bunnies came out of nowhere and romped around the Doctor while they sang about his greatness in high pitched voices. The Doctor kept on walking, not acknowledging them. Then the walls on either side of the corridor disappeared and on either side of them was a Disney-like forest. Standing between the trees were robot children who sang to them as they passed by.

"You must love the Doctor," they sang in their childlike voices, "he's great and strong and good. You must love the Doctor like every person should."

"Give me a break," Rose muttered as she rolled her eyes.

The Doctor kept on moving, not looking at or acknowledging any of this, even when a rainbow arched over his head and followed him with every step. Rose noticed that the dancing animals and rainbow were ignoring her and she was glad since the animals were doing complicated dances moves and weaving in and out of the Doctor's legs. Then suddenly, there was a crash of thunder and the animals and children ran into the trees. The rainbow disappeared and they walked through a doorway into another room. This room was dark and had a simulated thunderstorm in it. The lightning flashed above them and lightning bolts jumped from cloud to cloud. On either side of them was a graveyard with hundreds of tombstones. There were no walls now, only the graveyard and the thunderstorm above their heads. The Doctor walked purposefully; ignoring it all while Rose looked all around her. Then she heard moans and looked up. She saw simulated ghosts flying over them.

"What the hell is this?" Rose muttered. "We went from the Snow White forest to graveyard of doom?"

She heard a creak and looked to her left. She stopped when she saw the top of a crypt opening up. Her eyes bulged when a Ninth Doctor robot peeked his head out and stared at her with a menacing expression.

"Brains!" Zombie Nine said, pointing to her. "Braaaains!"

"Give me a break," Rose said, jogging to catch up to the Doctor.

By the time she caught up to him, he was leaving through another doorway. Rose stopped a few feet behind him and slowed her pace back to normal. They entered the next room and Rose gasped when her foot hit a moving sidewalk. She stood behind the Doctor who now had his hands behind his back while the sidewalk moved them along. It was still dark and Rose couldn't see anything but when the sidewalk moved them into the next room, she suddenly saw a farm on either side of them. She gazed at the white farmhouse and red barn and silo in wonder as she wondered what else the TARDIS had inside her. She saw robot cows grazing and heard pigs squealing and chickens clucking before they reached the next doorway. The moment they entered the next doorway, they instantly got on an escalator and Rose gasped when she nearly tripped. They rode the escalator up and Rose looked above her head at several crystal chandeliers that were hanging above them, providing a soft light for their ascent.

Then the escalator ended and they were back on the sidewalk. This time they were in a portrait room. Rose looked at the portraits of the individual Doctor's starting with One and going down the corridor in sequence. They got to the current Doctor's portrait and Rose's eyes bulged when she noticed that Ten was completely naked for his portrait and he was pointing to his penis which was huge and erect. She was shocked when the portrait after that had another Doctor in it, but his back was turned so she couldn't see his face. She could see a tweed jacket, brown hair and a fez and he seemed to be holding a mop. Her curiosity raged as she silently willed the eleventh Doctor to turn around. But they passed by and Rose noticed the next two portraits were just empty frames with signs hanging from them that said, COMING SOON. The sidewalk took them through a doorway into the next room and Rose's mouth fell open when she saw a ginormous statue of the Tenth Doctor above them. His massive feet were planted on either side of the sidewalk and they were going under his legs. She craned her neck and could see the Doctor's stone face was staring down at her from fifty feet up. He had a randy look on his face and was completely naked while he pointed to his huge massive erection which shot out into the sky like a ledge. Rose looked at her Doctor.

"You like your penis, don't you?" she said to him.

The Doctor didn't respond or acknowledge her and they passed into the next room. Rose grunted when the sidewalk stopped and she nearly stumbled into the Doctor. She managed to right herself before hitting the floor but she bumped into the Doctor when he suddenly stopped.

"Careful," the Doctor said over his shoulder.

"Doctor, where are we going?" Rose said.

The Doctor didn't answer, he stared straight ahead. Rose stood behind him wondering what was going to happen next when suddenly the section of floor they were standing on lifted off the ground. Rose grabbed the Doctor's arms as the floor rose up through a narrow corridor. Again, they saw more portraits but this time it was all the companions the Doctor had. Rose forgot her fear and concentrated on looking at the portraits of her predecessors. Her mouth fell open when they got to her portrait and she could see herself in the altogether, holding her breasts which were two times bigger than they normally were. Her tongue was hanging out like she was about to lick the Doctor's body. Rose, incensed, tapped the Doctor on the shoulder but he ignored her as they went upwards. Then the floor stopped and Rose noticed that it was now attached to another floor in another corridor. The Doctor stepped away and Rose sighed as she followed him.

"Where are we going?" Rose asked in exasperation.

She sighed angrily when the Doctor continued to ignore her. They reached another escalator and the Doctor and Rose went up it. They reached the top and stepped off and she saw two lifts. The Doctor pushed the up button on the first one and when the doors opened, they stepped inside. Rose gasped and covered her ears when loud muzak blared from an overhead speaker but the Doctor seemed unaffected by the noise. They went up several floors and then the doors opened. Rose ran out of the elevator, her ears hurting from the muzak but the moment the lift doors closed she couldn't hear the music. She followed the Doctor as he walked along another corridor and then at the end of it, she saw a single wooden door. The Doctor opened the door and she saw a lavatory. She started to follow the Doctor but he spun around and held up his hand, stopping her. She stood and watched while the Doctor walked into the room and closed the door. Her eyes bulged when the Doctor suddenly screamed, "FIRE IN THE HOLE!" followed by a pbbbt sound. She made a face imagining what was happening as the pbbbt sound continued for half a minute. Then she heard a loud, "Ahhh!" before the toilet flushed. When the door opened, the Doctor looked relieved as he stepped out.

"Wait, you went through all this just to use the bog?" Rose said to him.

"Well, yes, I ate some Hella Hot Sauce Tacos and they disagreed with my tummy so I had to do a number two in the little old loo."

"Yeah, but there are loos closer to the console room than this," Rose said.

"This is my private lavatory though," the Doctor said, pointing to the door. "The other loos are for my companions and…oh…oh…excuse me," the Doctor said, holding his stomach before running back inside the lavatory.

"And why was I needed to come with you?" Rose muttered as she heard the Doctor scream FIRE IN THE HOLE followed by the pbbbbt sound. "Sometimes, Doctor, I think you're a little bit too clingy," she added as the pbbbt sound continued.

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