DOCTOR WHO SILLY STORIES

Chapter Twenty Six

The Doctor walked into his kitchen and grabbed the kettle on the stove. He turned on a radio sitting on the counter near the refrigerator and opened the fridge door, looking for a bit of breakfast. The radio had been enhanced by his tinkering and he was able to pick up radio signals from Earth even when he was in the vortex.

"And we just had a bit of Katy Perry then," the DJ was saying while the Doctor pulled out some eggs and studied the carton, deciding if he wanted them or not.

He put the carton on the counter, removed two eggs and put the carton back in the fridge.

"I was reading an interesting study the other day," the DJ was saying while the Doctor pulled out a jug of milk. "This study seems redundant but they were saying the more love you had in your life the happier and more productive you are as a person. Why they needed a study for that is beyond me…"

The Doctor chuckled to himself.

"The more love you have, the more productive you are, eh? Hmmm…I wonder…" he mused as an idea formed in his mind.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Rose yawned as she walked towards the console room. Every morning she checked in with the Doctor to say good morning and find out if he had any plans for the day. She entered the room and smiled when she saw the Doctor leaning over his monitor. She walked around the railing and slowed down when she got a look at his front. She stopped. Around the Doctor's neck was a piece of white cardboard. A piece of yarn was tied to it and the string was around the Doctor's neck.

"Doctor?" Rose said.

The Doctor leaned up and turned to her and Rose noticed words were written on the cardboard. She read the sign.

I AM A LONELY, LONELY TIME LORD WHO NEEDS LOVIN'. PLEASE MAKE ME FEEL WANTED AND NEEDED!

Rose giggled and walked over to him. She embraced him tightly while the Doctor let out an awww and held her tightly.

"You are wanted and needed," Rose said as she held him.

"Good, I'm glad. I need lots and lots of TLC because I'm very needy," the Doctor said.

Rose kissed his cheek and stepped back.

"So, Mister Needy, what's on the agenda for today?" she said.

"Loving and lots of it, apart from that, haven't decided yet," the Doctor said.

He glanced over when Ianto entered the room and he turned so Ianto could read the sign. Ianto paused, read the sign and gave the Doctor an odd look when he spread his arms wide to receive a hug. Rose giggled when Ianto smiled, walked over to him and gave him a hug.

"Awww, I love this! The man on the radio said people who have lots of love are happy, productive people and now I see why. Thank you, Ianto."

"My pleasure," Ianto said, stepping back.

The Doctor smiled when Rose hugged Ianto next. He was glad he thought of this. Harmony and happiness in the TARDIS was always welcome.

Then he saw him and the Doctor quickly turned the sign around as Jack walked towards Ianto.

"There you are," Jack said to Ianto. "I wondered if you wanted to go for a swim and…"

He trailed off when he noticed the cardboard around the Doctor's neck. Rose giggled when the Doctor kept one hand firmly on it while he moved back to his monitor.

"What's this?" Jack asked, pointing to the cardboard.

"Nothing," the Doctor said as he bent over the monitor.

Jack frowned when the Doctor kept the sign firmly pressed against his chest. He looked at Rose who was giggling insanely.

"What's going on here?" Jack asked.

"Um…I better not say, the Doctor might smack me," Rose said.

Jack looked at Ianto. Ianto shrugged and walked to the jump seat.

"Okay then," Jack said, walking over to the Doctor. "What's going on, Doctor?"

"Why, whatever do you mean, Jack?" the Doctor said, leaning back up.

Jack looked at the hand keeping the cardboard sign against him and he tried to pry it away while the Doctor resisted. Rose laughed even more when Jack smacked the back of the hand several times.

"Hey, quit that!" the Doctor said, smacking Jack's cheek lightly with his free hand.

"Let me see what the sign says then!" Jack said, trying to pry the hand away.

"What makes you think it's a sign?" the Doctor said innocently.

"Because generally people put signs around their necks and you're not the type to wear a piece of cardboard as a fashion statement. Now let me see it!"

"No, don't wanna! You might pounce on me if you saw what I wrote."

"Pounce on you?" Jack said while Rose laughed and Ianto cracked a smile. "What's on this sign?"

"Never!" the Doctor said.

He gasped when Rose ran over and helped Jack try to pry the hand away.

"Hey! You're betraying me! I frown on that!" the Doctor said to Rose as she laughed. "Get away from me, you female Benedict Arnold, you Judas, you! Piss off!"

His mouth dropped open when Rose made a fist and hit the back of the hand with it while Jack stood back and enjoy the show. The Doctor gasped when Rose tried to pinch his genitals next.

"Oi! Lay off the wedding tackle, Tyler!" The Doctor said, backing away while he held on to the sign.

Jack leapt forward and began to tickle the Doctor while Rose grabbed the hand and tried to pry it away.

"Ianto, help me!" the Doctor said as he tried to get away from them.

"Don't Ianto, you won't get sex tonight if you help!" Jack said over his shoulder.

"Sorry, Doctor, I want sex," Ianto called as he sat on the jump seat.

The Doctor backed up against the railing and Rose and Jack cornered him so he couldn't escape. The Doctor decided to let go of the sign before Jack threw him over it and he lifted his hand away from the sign. Jack grabbed it, turned it around and read it.

"Oh really?" Jack said to the Doctor. "You need some lovin', eh?"

"Not that sort of lovin', Harkness!" the Doctor said as Rose bent over laughing.

"Aw, come on, honey, let me give you some sugar!" Jack said while Rose laughed harder.

"Nooo!" the Doctor said as he ducked away and ran to the jump seat.

"Yeeees!" Jack said, gleefully following him.

"Jack, don't you dare!" the Doctor said, spinning around as Jack panted and made googly eyes at him.

Rose, meanwhile, was holding on to the railing, splitting her sides with laughter while Jack puckered up and made kissy faces at the Doctor. The Doctor looked at Ianto who was watching them calmly.

"Hey! He's about to rape me! This is your boyfriend? Why are you just sitting there?" he said to Ianto.

"We have an open relationship," Ianto said with a shrug.

"Sod you both!" the Doctor said while Ianto chuckled. "That's it! I want hate now! Hate is safer for me! I won't get raped with hate!"

Jack laughed and stopped pursuing him.

"Ah, Doc, you're one in a million," Jack said. "I love traveling with you. You're easy to get along with and you're one of those people you can laugh and joke with. Can I have one hug then?"

"You won't rape me?" the Doctor said, feigning fear.

Jack pretended to consider that.

"Naaah, I like willing victims," he said.

The Doctor chuckled and embraced him. Jack called everyone together and got them in a group hug around the Doctor.

"Now, Mister Needy, is that better?" Rose said when they stepped back.

"Very much better. Molto bene! I'm energized now," the Doctor said, taking off the sign and laying it on the jump seat. "So, let's figure out where to go."

"You figure it out, Yan and I are taking a quick swim."

Jack walked out of the room with Ianto. The Doctor watched them go and then looked at Rose. Rose hugged him and laid her head against his chest while the Doctor rubbed her back. She then gave him a kiss and patted his head.

"So…where will we go next?" she asked.

A contented sigh drifted out of the Doctor's nose as he turned to the monitor and went over some ideas for locations with Rose.

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