Chapter Twenty Nine

Jack was bored so he decided to take a walk. While he walked, he remembered the Doctor's gangsta outfit. Curious about what else he had in his wardrobe room, he headed that way. He climbed the twisting stairs when he reached him to the first floor. The first floor was men's clothing and the second floor was women's. When he got up there, he was surprised to see the Doctor picking out some shoes from a large shoe rack on the floor. He gave Jack a quizzical look.

"I was curious about your clothes. Wanted to know what you had besides the ASBO outfit," he said sheepishly.

"Help yourself, I'm picking out some shoes for today," the Doctor said, gesturing to the racks of clothes.

Jack walked over to the first rack of clothes and looked through them. He was impressed by the assortment he had. He had civilian clothes of all shapes and sizes but also things like a matador's outfit. Jack took that down and examined it. It was black with gold trim on the jacket and pants and a wide red sash around the middle. Jack held it against his body and he thought it looked like it could fit him. He spied a black lacquer folding screen in the corner and walked behind it. To his delight, the outfit fit him and he stepped out and walked over to the full length mirror to admire himself.

"Nice," the Doctor said, noticing him as he picked out a pair of lavender converse.

"Ole! Toro, toro!" Jack said, striking a dramatic pose.

The Doctor put down the converse, looked through the shoe racks and threw him a pair of black boots. He walked over to a bookshelf that had accessories on them and found the matching red cape. He walked over with it while Jack slipped on the boots. Jack took the cape from the Doctor and unfolded it with a flick of the wrists.

"Ole!" he said, spinning around with it.

The Doctor snickered. He made horns with his fingers and snorted as he pretended to charge him. Jack passed the cape over him as he passed by.

"Ole!" he yelled.

While they were doing this, The TARDIS nudged Rose's mind to get her to go to the wardrobe room. Rose saw the wardrobe room in her mind's eye and felt the urge to go there. She left her room and headed for it. When she finally reached the first level, she stopped and stared at Jack who was now dancing around, flinging the cape around him. The Doctor pointed her out and Jack stopped.

"Ah! Little senorita, I will fight the bull in your honor!" he said before he turned to the Doctor.

Rose laughed as the Doctor made the horns and mooed loudly before charging Jack.

"Ole!" Jack said as he passed by him.

He grunted when the Doctor spun around and butted his head into Jack's ass.

"I just gored your arse, you're dead," he said.

"No, not my beautiful ass!" Jack howled as he held it.

Rose laughed and applauded. She looked at the racks of clothes and started rummaging through them while Jack did the same. The Doctor picked up his trainers, pulled up a nearby wooden chair and sat down. He replaced his dirty white trainers with the purple ones. Rose found a purple velvet leisure suit. She giggled as she took it over to the Doctor.

"This would go with the trainers," she said to him.

The Doctor looked at it and made a face.

"No, I think not," he said while Rose giggled.

She took it back while Jack pulled out a Halloween costume. It was a Jack O'Lantern with holes for arms, legs and head.

"Care to explain where this came from?" he said, showing it to the Doctor.

"Um…fancy dress party…some time past," he said. "I was invited to a costume contest with that but I don't think I won."

Hey, Rose, new outfit for you," Jack said, turning and showing it to her.

Rose showed him the leisure suit.

"I'll wear that if you wear this," he said.

Rose grinned.

"Okay," she said.

"Um…you will?" Jack said as Rose came up and took it from him.

She held out the leisure suit and laughed when Jack made a face at it.

"That's why you should keep your mouth shut, Harkness," the Doctor said as he relaxed in the chair.

Rose put the pumpkin costume on over her clothes while Jack walked to the folding screen. Once she had the costume on, she stuck out her arms like a zombie and shuffled towards the Doctor.

"Aarrrrrrr, I'm a zombie pumpkin," Rose said in a deep voice while she put her hands around the Doctor's neck. "Brains, braaaains!"

The Doctor chuckled and pushed his finger on her chest.

"You oughta wear this full time, confuse the baddies," he said to her.

"It's warm, actually. And comfy too," Rose said, running her hand down the front as she looked at the Jack O'Lantern face. "You were in a costume contest?"

"Once, long ago," the Doctor said. "Most of these clothes have been collected from a lifetime of traveling. Some the TARDIS made, some my companions wore. Same goes for the women's clothing. Donated and worn by my companions."

"So if I don't want anything, I can donate it?" Rose said.

"Yes. Just put in on the table upstairs, the TARDIS will clean and sort it. Jack! Are you ready yet?" he called out.

"This is stupid," Jack said from behind the screen.

"Come on, Jack, I put on the costume. Now it's your turn!" Rose called to him.

Jack shuffled out from behind the screen and Rose laughed at him. He gave her a dirty look as she bent over laughing.

"Do the Hustle, eh mate?" she said as he flipped her off.

"So what about this? Was this worn by you or donated?" Jack asked as he pointed to the suit.

"Donated. I would rather die than be seen in that."

"I second that sentiment," Jack said, shaking his hand. "I lived through the '70's but I never saw a monstrosity like this! Ugh!"

Rose frowned when she suddenly felt weight on her head. She reached up and took down a black bowler hat.

"Where'd this come from?" Rose said, looking around.

"The TARDIS. She's playing along, it seems," the Doctor said.

Rose giggled when a straw sombrero appeared on her head.

"This shoulda went with the matador outfit," Rose said, pointing to it.

Jack walked over, plucked the sombrero off her head and put it on. Rose put the bowler hat back on and took off the costume. She laid it on a wooden table near the mirror and it vanished. There was a flash and Rose smiled when she saw a pink party dress with ruffles across the neckline.

"See, the TARDIS is playing with you now," the Doctor said.

Rose put the bowler hat down on the table and took the dress. She walked to the folding screen while Jack walked to the table and laid the sombrero down. The doctor watched with interest as a fez appeared in its place and Jack picked it up.

"This will look good on you," Jack said, walking over to the Doctor.

"Ugh, no."

"Aw, come on, fezzes are cool," Jack said as he put it on his head.

The Doctor pressed down on the fez and giggled when a dunce cap appeared on Jack's head.

"Very funny," Jack said to the ceiling when he took it off and looked at it.

The Doctor looked past Jack and his eyes widened. Jack followed his gaze and his breath caught in his throat when Rose stepped out with the dress on.

"I like it," Rose said. "We need to go to a tea party or ball or something."

"You are beautiful," Jack said.

"And you're just so tweeee!" Rose squealed.

"Ugh! Don't say that!" he said while the Doctor giggled.

Rose skipped over and pinched his cheeks.

"So tweeeee, I love it, Jack "Purple Leisure Suit" Harkness. You're so cute, you are!"

"Ugh! I'm going to change before she puts a garland of flowers on my head," Jack said, turning and hurrying back to the screen.

The Doctor waited till Jack went behind the screen before he took Rose's hand and kissed the back of it.

"You need to wear this more often. You look beautiful in dresses," the Doctor said.

"I like this one. I s'pose the TARDIS knew that. That's why she picked it," Rose said.

"I agree with her choice," the Doctor said, admiring her beauty.

He giggled when a pair of bunny ears appeared on her head.

"The bunny ears, not so much," he said as Rose took them off and looked at them.

"I love your ship's sense of humor," Rose said, putting them back on.

"Why do you think I can't bear to part with her?"

"There, that's better," Jack said as he came out from behind the screen with his regular clothes on. "Really, Doctor, you need to burn that eyesore."

"No, someday I might have need of it," the Doctor said. "Just like I might have need of this," he said, taking the fez off his head.

"Right, you with a fez, I'd love to see that," Rose said.

"I like fezzes, fezzes are cool!" the Doctor said, plopping it back on his head. "Having said that, let's go and get Ianto and figure out our next adventure."

"Let me get my clothes on then," Rose said.

She started to leave but the Doctor grabbed her from behind.

"No. This is your outfit for today. Find a pair of matching shoes and we'll find you a tea party."

"Deal," Rose said as the Doctor kissed her cheek.

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