Chapter Thirty Five

The Doctor was sitting on his jump seat, relaxing with his feet up on the rim of the console, being soothed by the familiar sound of his rotor when Rose suddenly flounced into the room.

"DOCTOR!" she squealed.

"WHAT?" he squealed back.

Rose skipped over to him while the Doctor watched her with an odd look on his face. She came up beside him and put something in his ruffled hair.

"There!" Rose said, stepping back.

The Doctor reached up, felt something plastic and took it down. He raised his eyebrow when he looked at a tiny yellow rubber ducky.

"No, Doctor Ducky must build his nest," Rose said, taking it from him and putting it back in his hair.

"Doctor Ducky?" the Doctor said.

"Yes. He's your new companion. Doctor Ducky was an outcast from the duck pond until you rescued him and now he lives in your hair."

"Um…okay," the Doctor said while Rose giggled.

"Doctor Ducky likes your hair because it's warm and comfy and he's building a nest so you mustn't disturb him," Rose said.

"Rose, are you on drugs now?" the Doctor said. "Because I can help you if you are."

Rose pulled out a black rubber duck from her pocket.

"This is Blacky, Blacky wants to live in your hair but Doctor Ducky won't let him."

"LSD is a very destructive drug, Rose. I can help you stop taking it," the Doctor said.

"Blacky and Doctor Ducky argue all the time but they're great friends," Rose said, holding the black duck up in front of the Doctor's face.

"Or are you huffing toxic substances? Huffing is also very dangerous," the Doctor said. "And then there's marijuana…"

Rose pulled a red rubber ducky out of her pocket.

"This is Bruno; he hates Blacky and Doctor Ducky and wants them both dead so he can have the hair nest for himself."

"Oh, my poor Rose, a helpless junkie and I'm the only one who can save her from herself."

"Blacky and Bruno are fighting now," Rose said, butting the ducks together. "But Doctor Ducky just sits in your hair, safe and sound."

"Oh how can I free Rose from her drug addiction?" the Doctor said while Rose giggled and made the ducks dance on his cheeks. "Poor junkie Rose, caught in the throes of a nightmare addiction. Is there any hope for her?"

"Will you quit that, I'm not a junkie," Rose said, poking him in the arm.

"You're not? Then what is this rubber duck freak out?" he said to her.

"I'm playing. Didn't you ever play on Gallifrey?"

"Um…I did from birth to about six months of age, then I graduated to quantum physics," he said.

"Fine then, I'll take my toys and go," Rose said, putting the ducks in her pocket and plucking Doctor Ducky from his hair.

The Doctor grinned and followed her. Rose gasped when he seized her from behind just as she reached the back door.

"I'm a tree being and I have you in my branches," he purred in her ear.

"If you're a tree, where's your leaves?" Rose said, looking over her shoulder.

"I have no need of leaves, I am a tree being. Leaves get in the way of my stalking."

"Ooo, stalking. You mean me?" Rose said, leaning back into him.

"Yes. You have angered the tree being by placing rubber ducks on his person. Now you must pay the price."

"And what price must I pay?" Rose drawled, loving the feel of the Doctor against her.

She frowned when the Doctor didn't say anything and looked up at him.

"What price must I pay?" she prompted.

"Um…thinking," the Doctor said.

Just then Jack walked through the door. He stopped short and summed up the situation.

"Okay, ten seconds from sex, I'm guessing so I'll see you later," he said before spinning around on his heel and hurrying out.

"We're not having sex!" the Doctor said while Rose laughed hysterically.

Jack came back into the room.

"What are you doing then?" he asked.

"He's a tree being and he has me in his branches," Rose said.

"Oh…roleplay, so it is close to the sex then," Jack said.

"No, we're just teasing each other," the Doctor said in exasperation. "Blimey, does everything have to equate sex in your mind?"

Rose laughed when Jack thought that over.

"Pretty much," he said, nodding. "And come on, you can't fool me. I know what you get up to when I'm not looking."

"Oh? Care to elaborate then?" the Doctor said.

"May I?" Jack said, holding out his hand to Rose.

Rose glanced up at the Doctor and saw the look of warning on his face. She patted his cheek and took Jack's hand. She gasped when Jack pulled her into a tight embrace.

"Ooooh, chicky boo, I'm the Doctor and I haven't had any for 19,000 years. Love me, you crazy ape, you!" he said.

"That's what you think we do when you're not looking?" the Doctor said as Jack panted heavily on Rose.

"Rose, would you like to see my other sonic screwdriver?" Jack said, pointing to his crotch.

Rose laughed when the Doctor snorted at that. She gasped when Jack picked her up and ran with her to the console.

"I must have you, my love bunny! Make sweet space love to me!" he said putting her up against the console. "Then open up my head and make sweet love to my brain because it's the most important part of me!"

"Okay, Harkness, that'll do!" the Doctor said, walking up to them.

"Ought oh, Doctor is in jealous mode. I better back off now," Jack said before stepping back from Rose.

The Doctor put his arms around Rose and gave him a pointed look.

"Well, I've pissed the Doctor off enough, I'll be going now," Jack said. "See you crazy kids later."

The Doctor watched him go and when he was out of the room, he pushed Rose up against the console.

"Oh, my love bunny, take me right here and now!" he said melodramatically.

Rose laughed and pretended to swoon while the Doctor panted.

"I knew it! I was right!" Jack said from the door.

"LEAVE!" the Doctor roared.

Jack ran off and the Doctor chuckled and walked over to the jump seat with Rose.

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