Chapter Forty Three

"Oh, Roooose!"

Rose looked up from her book. She was sitting on the sofa in the living room while Jack and Ianto strolled into the room.

"BUH-LONDIE!" Jack said.

"What whatty?" Rose said.

"I have an idea! I was just thinking and I came up with a fabulous idea!"

"You're gonna start wearing a tutu and blue tights with ducks on them," Rose said dryly.

"No. But I like that suggestion; I'll take it into account. No, my little sis, I was thinking since you and me are practically siblings, I thought up a way to irritate the old man at the controls."

"I'm listening…" Rose said, laying down her book.


The Doctor stood at his controls while the TARDIS flew through the vortex. He stroked the rim and smiled when he listened to the contented rumbling of his ship.


The Doctor jerked his head around when he heard Jack squeal. He turned when Jack, Ianto and Rose ran into the room and zoomed towards his jump seat.

"DADDY, ARE WE GOING SOMEWHERE?" Jack said as the three of them plopped down on the jump seat.

"Daddy?" the Doctor said.

"Yes, Daddy, we wanna go somewhere," Jack said in a little kid voice. "We've been good."

"We wanna go to Disneyland!" Rose said in a little kid voice.

The Doctor gave them an odd look when the three of them chanted DISNEYLAND, DISNEYLAND, DISNEYLAND over and over.

"You wanna go to Disneyland?" the Doctor said.

"Yes, Daddy, we've been good," Ianto said.

"What?" the Doctor said while his companions giggled.

"We wanna go in the vroom vroom to see Mickey Mouse," Jack said.

The Doctor looked at Rose who was giggling while her thumb was stuck in her mouth.

"Have the three of you been hit with some sort of fountain of youth ray?" the Doctor said.

"We wanna go to Disneyland, Daddy! Take us in the vroom vroom to Disneyland!" Jack squealed.

"If you say so," the Doctor said, turning back to the controls.

"Yay, Disneyland!" Rose squealed as she threw her arms up in the air.

The Doctor hid a smile while he set the coordinates for Disneyland.

"Daaadddy, Rose just pinched me," Jack whined.

"Did not!" Rose said.

"Did to! You pinched me!" Jack said.

Rose grinned and swatted the top of his head.

"Daaaaddy! Rose is hitting me!" Jack whined.

"Daaaady!" Ianto said. "I'm hungry. I want juice and biscuits!"

"Yeah, I want a juice box," Jack whined.

"Are you playing family car or something?" the Doctor said, turning to them.

The three of them nodded rapidly and the Doctor snickered.

"Juice box, Daddy?" Rose said in a childlike voice.

"No, you'll wet yourself. You'll have juice when we get there," the Doctor said, wagging his finger at her.

"No! Want juuuuice!" Rose howled.

"Are we there yet?" Ianto whined.

"Yeah, are we there yet?" Jack parroted.

The three of them glanced at each other and grinned.


The Doctor racked his brain trying to remember dialogue used in situations like this. He'd seen this sort of scenario on TV before. He turned and looked stern.

"Do you want me to pull this TARDIS over to the side of the vortex? Because if I have to do that, you'll be sorry," he said.

"I gotta go poopies," Jack said.

"You shoulda went before we left!" the Doctor said.

"I didn't have to go then!" Jack protested.

"I want juuuuuuice!" Rose said.

"Are we there yet?" Ianto said.


"No, we're not there yet! Now shut up before I turn this TARDIS around and go back home."

"Daddy! Jack is poking me!" Rose said when Jack began poking her arm.

"Daddy, Rose is hitting me!" Jack whined when Rose smacked him on the top of the head.

"Are we there yet?" Ianto whined.


"Behave or I'll use my belt on your bums!" the Doctor said with mock anger.

"What belt? You never wear a belt," Jack said.

"And none of your cheek! Now behave while I drive the TARDIS."

He pointed at Jack when he stuck his tongue out at the Doctor.

"Don't make me use a belt on your behind, Jack," he said.

Jack giggled at that.

"Okay, going to skip the obvious sexual innuendo to that one and go right into…LET'S PLAY A GAME!" he said to Rose and Ianto. "Let's play I spy. Okay, I go first. Um…I spy with my little eye…something beginning with D."

Rose gave him a withering look.

"Gee, what could it be?" she said dryly. "Could it be….Doctor?"

"Nope," Jack said.

"Oh, come off it, it's the Doctor," Rose said.

"The Doctor isn't the only thing in here that starts with the letter D," Jack said.

Rose looked around the room while Jack and Ianto watched. She looked towards the front door and brightened.

"Door!" she said, pointing towards it.

"Nope!" Jack said smugly.

"Hmmm," Rose said, looking around.

She pointed to the bicycle pump on the TARDIS console.

"Doodah?" she said.

"Nope!" Jack said, shaking his head.

"Blast, what could it be? Um…hmmm…bollocks, I give up. What is it?"

Jack pointed at her.

"Me? My name doesn't start with D," Rose said.

"It doesn't? I coulda sworn Douchebag was a D word."

The Doctor giggled when Rose smacked him repeatedly on the head and Jack ran around the console.

"Daddy, Rose is trying to kill me," Jack said to the Doctor.

"Well, you must learn to be polite and stop calling her names."

"No, that's boring! I like calling her names! Let's have a sing song though!"

Jack stared at the Doctor when he suddenly burst into song and started singing something in Italian in a high-pitched voice.

"What are you doing?" Jack said.

"You said to have a sing song, I'm singing an aria from The Marriage of Figaro. Everybody, sing with me!"

He grunted when Rose ran into him and hugged him from behind.

"Daddy, want juuuuice!" she said as she squeezed him.

"I told you, it makes you wet yourself. No juice until Disneyland," the Doctor said.

"Whaaaa! Daddy's being mean!" Rose said, stomping back to the jump seat.

"Blimey, you lot must be really bored today!" the Doctor said, shaking his head.

"Nah, we just enjoy our little pranks," Jack said. "I had a thought that you do act like the dad, driving us all over the place and so we're your little kids!"

The Doctor chuckled.

"That's what I love about you lot, your imagination," he said fondly.

"So…can I have a juice box now?" Rose said.

"Yes, go to the kitchen and get a juice box for yourself," the Doctor said.

"Yay!" Rose squealed as she leapt up and ran out of the room.

"Hey! Wait for me, I want one toooooo!" Jack squealed as he followed her.

The Doctor turned and looked at Ianto who was sitting on the jump seat.

"Want a juice box as well?" he said to him.

"No, I gotta go poopies!" Ianto said.

"Go use the toilet then," the Doctor said, pointing to the back door.

"Okay, see ya later then!" Ianto said, hopping up and strolling towards the back door.

The Doctor watched him go and with a chuckle turned his attention back to the console.

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