DOCTOR WHO SILLY STORIES

Chapter Forty Nine

Argento led them down several flights of stairs and along two corridors before he opened a large steel door. They went directly out onto a balcony that overlooked a large courtyard. When the Doctor walked up to the waist high brick wall and looked over, he saw masses of people staring up at him. He turned to Argento while his friends looked over the wall.

"What am I s'posed to say?" he said to Argento.

"Say whatever you like. Address your subjects," Argento said. "Let me know when you're done by knocking on the door."

"Wait, can I take this crown off?" Rose said, pointing to the crown on her head.

Argento either didn't hear her or wouldn't answer while he turned and walked back out the door. Rose sighed, shook her head and muttered, "Sod it!" while she took the crown off and put it on the stone floor at her feet.

"Um…hello!" the Doctor said to the crowd. "I am the Doctor!"

"Piss off!" a male voice yelled up at him.

"See here, I'm your emperor!" the Doctor yelled back to him.

"The empire sucks! Get rid of it!" the man yelled back.

The Doctor was nonplussed when most of the crowd echoed his sentiment.

"Okay, now what?" the Doctor said to his friends while the crowd booed and jeered him.

"Allow me, dad," Jack said, stepping up to the edge of the balcony. "ATTENTION, EVERYONE!" he yelled.

He waited a moment while the crowd quieted down.

"THANK YOU! I AM JACK HARKNESS AND I'M YOUR GUIDE ON THIS TOTALLY SUPER FREAK OUT CALLED LIFE!" he yelled.

"You suck!" another man yelled up at him.

"YES, I DO SUCK BUT THAT'S BETWEEN ME AND IANTO!"

The Doctor looked at Rose and rolled his eyes while Jack barked out laughter.

"IN ALL SERIOUSNESS!" he yelled to the crowd while they began to boo him. "I BELIEVE THAT EVERYONE SHOULD LOVE ONE ANOTHER SO THAT'S WHAT WE SHOULD DO! LOVE ONE ANOTHER!"

"Jack, are you suggesting an orgy?" Ianto said to him.

Jack ignored him and burst into song, singing Katy Perry's Firework while the crowd booed. Then he gasped and ducked when some one threw a large melon up at the balcony.

"Nice going, very inspiring," the Doctor said dryly while everyone backed up to avoid the fruit that was now whizzing up at them.

The Doctor walked over to the steel door and banged on it while he yelled at Argento to open up. Argento opened the door enough to stick his head through and the Doctor pointed to the angry crowd.

"Explain this!" he said to him.

"Um…well…My reign isn't very popular and I was hoping you could talk to the crowd and get them to go along with me," he said to him.

"By saying what? I don't even know what your policies are," the Doctor said.

"Well…I don't really have any policies per say. I do things off the cuff."

"Well, that's why people are throwing food at your castle then," the Doctor said.

Argento opened the door further when the Doctor threw the mouse crown and the twig down at his feet.

"What's this?" he said, pointing to the crown and twig.

"I am abdicating and going back to civilian life. Crowd's all yours, mate," the Doctor said while Jack took off his jester hat and pitched it off the balcony.

Rose threw down her scepter, kicked her crown over and Argento watched, stunned, as everyone walked off the balcony.

"Wait! Don't go!" Argento said, following them while they threw off their robes and littered the floor with them. "You need to speak to the people."

"Sorry, I don't help people who won't help themselves," the Doctor said, glancing back over his shoulder. "You solve your own problems since you created them."

"Besides, I need something for my stiff neck now," Rose said, rubbing the side of her neck. "When you lot make another crown, leave the 2000 stone diamond off it."

"No, you can't do this! Come back! I'll be ruined!" Argento said while the Doctor and his companions ignored him and headed back to the TARDIS.

Argento stopped. His shoulders slumped and he watched in dismay as the Doctor and his friends walked out of his life and headed back to their home.

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