DOCTOR WHO SILLY STORIES

Chapter Sixty Six

After exploring the book shop, the Doctor and Rose exited. The Doctor stopped when he noticed the shop across the way.

"Soundtracks, wonder what that is?" he said, pointing to the sign above the glass door.

The sign had a microphone next to SOUNDTRACKS in huge red letters. Next to that was a TV monitor. It was playing a video of two teenage boys dancing around in front of a fake fire background while they sang Judas Priest's Breaking the Law. The Doctor looked around for Jack and found him perusing a book on military history. He walked over to him, told him where he and Rose were going and took Rose's hand as he exited the shop. They walked across the mall to the Soundtracks shop and went inside.

"Welcome," a young black man said while standing behind a Formica counter. "Would you like to record a song today?"

"Record a song?" Rose said while they walked over to him.

"You're from England?" the man said.

" I am," Rose said.

"I don't know if they have these stores over there but you don't look like you know what it is so I'll explain. Basically, this is a place where you can record yourself singing along to a song of your choice and we will make a cassette for you. Or…you can make a music video and we'll give you the VHS tape when you're through."

"So this is like karaoke," the Doctor said.

"Yes. We have recording booths in the back and you'll go into one, slip on some headphones and sing along with the karaoke feed while you look at the song lyrics. We'll record you while you do that and make a tape cassette for you when you're finished. Or we have a larger studio where you go in and stand in front of a screen. You choose the background and sing in front of it and you can have your own music video. These are the prices," he added, handing them a sheet of paper. "And those big plastic binders over there," he added, pointing to another Formica counter by the door, "list all the songs we have. When you're finished, you can listen to your cassette tapes there," he said, pointing to tape players on a counter on the opposite side of the door. "Or there's a TV monitor where you can watch your video," he said, pointing up above the tape players. "Interested?"

"Wanna do it?" Rose said to the Doctor.

"Yes. It sounds like fun," the Doctor said.

They debated for a moment and decided to do a duet and make a cassette tape rather than a video. By this time, Jack and Ianto wandered into the shop and after listening to the man repeat everything he said to the Doctor and Rose, he turned to Ianto.

"Come on, let's make a video of ourselves, it'll be hilarious," Jack said.

Ianto nodded and smiled and both parties paid the man before heading over to the books. Each one took a brown binder and opened it. Inside were laminated sheets of paper with song lists on them. The Doctor and Rose turned the pages looking through the songs.

"What would be a good duet?" Rose asked while they studied the song lists.

"Don't Go Breaking My Heart? Elton John and Kiki Dee."

"No, I can't stand that song," Rose said, making a face.

"Hey, Yan, let's do You're The One That I Want from the Grease film," they heard Jack say.

"There you go, we could do that song," the Doctor said to Rose.

"I don't wanna do what they're doing. Besides, we don't have to pick a duet. We can pick a song and just sing it together."

"What about that song you like, New Moon on Monday then?" the Doctor said.

Rose's face brightened.

"Yeah, I wanna do that one," Rose said.

"Aw, the couple have their own song now," Jack said to Ianto. "That's so precious and…HEY!" Jack said, turning to the Doctor when he snatched Jack's hat off his head and put it on.

He snatched it back from the Doctor and plonked it on his head.

"No one wears the hat except me," he said to the Doctor.

"Mm. Anyway, come on, let's ask if they have the song," the Doctor said, taking Rose's hand.

"It's your song now! You can't deny that!" Jack said before turning his attention back to the binder.

The Doctor asked if they had the song and the man nodded.

"Just added it a few months ago," he said. "So…go down this hallway and you'll see a door marked 1. That's your studio."

He ducked down behind the counter and appeared a moment later with a laminated piece of paper.

"These are the lyrics," he said, handing it to the Doctor. "Just go into the studio, put the lyrics on the music stand, put on the headphones and when the song starts, you just sing along to the singer and we'll replace his voice with yours."

The Doctor thanked him and the man pointed to a narrow passageway beside the counter. They walked into it and saw several steel doors with a square window in each of them. The first door on the left was 1. The Doctor opened the door and looked into the studio. There was not much room and not much in the studio except for a metal music stand and a microphone that was hanging down from the ceiling directly over the music stand. There were four headphones rested over the top of the music stand and each one was plugged into the ceiling. They went inside and the Doctor closed the door behind them. The microphone was in a holder that went up into the ceiling and the Doctor adjusted it while he put the lyric sheet on the music stand. They both took headphones and put them on. Rose nudged the Doctor and he took the headphones off with a questioning look on his face.

"Just thinking. What if this is some sort of mind control shop where you think it's gonna be karaoke but they play this mind control tape that says "Obey" over and over and you become their slaves."

"You've been traveling with me for far too long, Rose," the Doctor said while she giggled.

"Don't I know it," Rose said while the Doctor gave her a little nudge and put his headphones back on.

He glanced over when he noticed Ianto walking past their studio. Jack was following him but he stopped and put both hands on the door's plate glass. He opened his mouth, stuck it on the window and breathed heavily.

"Sod off, Harkness!" the Doctor yelled while Jack reared his head back, laughed and walked on.

The Doctor shook his head and looked at Rose who was giggling softly. They heard the man telling them through the headphones to get ready.

"Obey, obey, obey," Rose said, pulling the earphone off the Doctor's right ear.

"And you sod off as well," the Doctor teased when she let go and laughed some more.

He readjusted his earphone and heard the music start. He couldn't hear Rose while he sang since the recording was loud. He couldn't even hear himself singing but he sang along with the karaoke recording, hoping he didn't sound like rubbish. When the song was finished, they took the headphones off and put them back on the music stand. The Doctor grabbed the lyric sheet and they walked out of the studio. The Doctor closed the door and they walked back to the counter.

"Alright, it'll be just a few minutes," the man said, taking the lyric sheet from them.

The Doctor and Rose milled around while the man opened a door behind his counter and went inside a room.

"I couldn't hear myself, I hope I sang well," Rose said.

"Yeah, I was thinking the same thing," the Doctor said. "But at least it wasn't obey, obey, obey."

Rose laughed. She looked over when Jack and Ianto came out of the room at the very back. Both men were laughing hysterically.

"We made a music video," Jack said as they walked to the counter. "We decided on…SHE'S A BRICK HOOOUSE!"

"Oh God," the Doctor said while Rose chortled. "I can just imagine what you two did in that room while singing along to that song."

The man came back out with the cassette tape.

"If you want, I can play this over the public sound system so everyone can hear it. Of course, that means the people outside can hear it too or you can listen to it privately."

"No, play it publically, I wanna hear it," Jack said.

"Can you do that with the music videos as well?" the Doctor said.

"Yes, we can."

"Okay, if we play ours publicly, you do as well so we can see your music video," the Doctor said.

"Deal," Jack said.

"We'll play it publically," Rose said to the man.

"I'll put it in for you and I'll get you music video ready," he said to Jack and Ianto before he went back into the room.

They waited and a moment later, they heard New Moon on Monday on speakers mounted into the ceiling. The Doctor was horrified when he realized he was singing it off key because he wasn't able to hear himself. Jack was laughing hysterically at him.

"Oh wow, sounds like a cat being tortured. Not you, though," he said to Rose. "You're on key but the Doctor…whoa! What were you listening to because it wasn't the same thing Rose heard."

The Doctor flipped him the vees and Rose patted him on the shoulder. He ignored Jack's giggling and nudging of Ianto and instead concentrated on Rose's beautiful voice, thankful that at least she was able to carry the tune.

"I made a dog's dinner of that one," he said when the song finished. "If you wanna do another one without me, I'll pay for it."

"No, you weren't that bad. Don't listen to Jack," Rose said. "I love our duet."

"See, that's love right there," Jack said to Ianto. "Rose doesn't have the heart to tell the Doctor he sounds like a harpy because then she won't get nooky tonight."

"Wanna say that louder, Jack. The shopping center didn't hear you," the Doctor said.

The man came outside with their tape cassette in a cassette case. It had the Soundtrack logo on the front and on the side was the song and their names. He told Jack he was cueing up the video and told them to watch the monitor above the cassette players. They turned and a moment later, the video started. The Doctor chortled when he saw Jack and Ianto prancing around the room in front of the simulated flames from the earlier video. Both Jack and Ianto were thrusting their crotch at the camera while they sang off key and loudly. The Doctor and Rose laughed hysterically while Jack blushed deeply. When they got to the break it down, break it down now part, Jack swiveled his hips and put his hands behind his head while Ianto turned and shook his butt for the camera. By the end of it, the Doctor was in hysterics.

"And you thought we were rubbish, Jack. At least I didn't thrust my pelvis in front of simulated fire and pretend to be a gigalo," the Doctor said.

Rose patted Jack on the shoulder while Ianto took the VHS tape from the man as soon as he came outside the room. He asked them if they wanted to do anything else and all of them declined before thanking him and heading out of the shop.

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