Chapter Seventy

Jack was feeling a bit cheeky today so he decided to tease the Doctor. He asked the TARDIS where he was and the TARDIS moved a door into the passageway he was currently in. He opened the door and walked into a beautiful park. He looked around and noticed the Doctor and Rose were sitting at a wooden picnic table about thirty feet away, eating sandwiches and drinking tea while they gazed at each other across it. Jack grinned and flounced over to Rose's side. The Doctor and Rose gave him confused looks as he slammed down on the wooden seat beside Rose and put his arms around her.

"I CLAIM THIS!" he yelled.

He froze with his arms around Rose waiting for the Doctor's reaction.

"Let go of her and leave us alone," The Doctor said, calmly.

"Nope," Jack said. "I claim her. So whatcha gonna do about it?"

The Doctor got up and stood in front of the picnic table. Suddenly he raised his arms to the sky and screamed "EE NUM CHUCK!" before bringing his hands together. Then he dropped his arms to his sides and stared at Jack.

"And that was…" Jack said while Rose giggled.

"That was the summoning of the power of the Ancient Ones. A Time Lord society dedicated to kicking arse and taking names," the Doctor said.

"Uh huh, so show me this power then," Jack said.

The Doctor extended his hands towards Jack and wiggled them at his head while he let out a high-pitched "Squeeeeee." He did this for about thirty seconds and then dropped his arms back to his sides with a smug look on his face. Jack looked at Rose and shook his head slowly while Rose giggled.

"Wow, that was just…awesome power," Jack said. "That was the least painful death I ever had, seriously."

"I didn't kill ya," the Doctor said.

"Oh? What did you do, Ee Num Chuck?" Jack said.

"I put you in my power, now you are my slave," the Doctor said, sitting back down.

"Uh huh, well…order me to do something then, Slavemaster," Jack said.

The Doctor got up and beckoned to Jack and Rose. Rose got up and stood behind him. Jack hesitated a moment before getting up and standing behind Rose. The Doctor whistled and walked towards the door. Rose looked at Jack, shrugged, and followed him. Jack followed behind Rose and all of them followed the Doctor out the door. The Doctor took a sharp right and walked down the passageway while Jack and Rose followed him. They followed him to a door at the end of the corridor and the Doctor opened it and walked inside. Jack and Rose entered and looked around. The room was made of metal and bare except for the roundels on the walls. The Doctor walked to the center of the room and sat down, positioning himself in a lotus position. He closed his eyes and Rose and Jack watched while he floated off the floor and hovered in midair, eyes still closed and still in the lotus position.

"What's this, more summoning of Time Lord power?" Jack said flippantly.

The Doctor didn't answer. He continued to meditate while hovering in midair. Then suddenly he floated up to the ceiling and turned around so his back was now to his companions. He floated backwards until he was above Jack and then he began to slowly descend towards Jack. Jack ducked when he thought the Doctor meant to land on him but instead he stopped just above Jack's head. Jack crotched for a moment, looking up at the Doctor and when he didn't move anymore, he slowly raised his head back up. Jack grinned at Rose, raised his index finger and touched his right buttcheek. Then suddenly the Doctor let out a loud, long fart and Jack gasped and ran out from under him while Rose laughed.

"Thus it shall ever be to all who oppose me," the Doctor said with eyes closed. "I shalt rain farts upon the heads of those who try to take my property away from me and cause me irritation. EE NUM CHUCK!"

"Yeah, yeah, just wait, I'll get back at you for that," Jack said as the Doctor floated to the ground. "You'll rue the day you ever farted on my head, Time Lord. And when my vengeance comes, I'll be Ee Num Chucking your butt out the door. Fear me!" he said in a deep voice before he ran out the door.

The Doctor opened his eyes and yawned as he straightened his legs.

"Has the gigolo departed from our sight?" he asked Rose.

"Yup," Rose said.

"Super," the Doctor said, getting to his feet. "Let us resume our picnic then, shall we?"

He took Rose's hand and they walked out of the room while Jack watched them with his head stuck around the corner of the next passageway. He smirked when the Doctor closed the door and walked with Rose back to the park room.

"Just wait, Doctor, you're gonna pay for that," Jack said before going off to find Ianto.

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