Chapter Seventy Three

Rose followed her friends while they walked down the pavement. They were heading for Piccadilly Circus for a bit of fun and shopping as well as doing some sightseeing. Jack and Ianto held each other's hand and chatted while the Doctor did a bit of people watching. Rose was content to take in the sights and sounds of her old stomping grounds. While she walked she spied something going behind a post box. She slowed when she swore it was a mini red Dalek. But what she saw couldn't have been bigger than a mouse, surely it wasn't…

The others passed by the post box but she slowed and stopped and to her amazement she saw an itsy bitsy Dalek that was about three inches high. The Dalek's back was to her, it attention turned on the cars going by. Then a dog barked behind Rose and the Dalek swiveled its dome around. It pointed its little eyestalk up at her.

"RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!" it said in a tiny mouselike voice as it glided towards her.

Rose giggled as the tiny Dalek stopped a few inches away from her and used its eyestalk to look up at her.

"Am I your prisoner then?" Rose said to it.


Rose pretended to surrender and she headed towards the Doctor. She heard a tiny "Wrrrrrr" behind her and looked over her shoulder. The tiny Dalek was following her closely. Rose heard a few people commenting on how cute her toy was but Rose shooed away anyone curious enough to pick it up in case the Dalek proved lethal. She caught up to the Doctor who had stopped and was looking for her while Jack and Ianto chatted nearby. Rose chuckled.

"Help me, Doctor," she said, melodramatically as she put the back of her hand to her forehead. "I'm enslaved."

"Enslaved?" the Doctor said. "By who?"

Rose hooked her thumb over her shoulder and walked by the Doctor. The Doctor did a double take when he saw the Dalek.

"I must take my new master to Earth's leaders," Rose said aloud while she walked past Jack and Ianto.

"What the hell?" Jack said when he and Ianto saw the Dalek.

By now the Doctor was casually following the mini Dalek, hands in pockets, with an amused grin on his face. Jack and Ianto fell in behind him.

"Do they make them that tiny?" Jack said to the Doctor while they followed the Dalek.

"Apparently they do," the Doctor said.

"Oh Doctor, what will I do? I'm helpless!" Rose said, hamming it up.

"COMMUNICATION WILL CEASE!" the tiny Dalek squeaked at her.

The Doctor, Jack and Ianto sniggered at the little mouse voice of the Dalek.

"He's cute, can we keep him?" Jack said to the Doctor.

The Doctor took his hand out of his pocket. He told Rose to stop while he reached down and picked the Dalek up.

"WHAT IS THIS? PUT ME DOWN!" the Dalek squeaked as it swiveled its dome around to face the Doctor.

"Hello, Itsy Bitsy, on a quest to take over the world, are we?" the Doctor said to it.

"SCANS INDICATE YOU ARE THE DOCTOR!" the tiny Dalek said, becoming excited.

"Yup, I am, Itsy Bitsy," the Doctor said.

Jack giggled and stroked the top of the dome with his index finger.

"He's just so cute!" Jack gushed.

"Can we take the tiny squid out and teach him to do tricks?" Ianto asked.


"Of course you must, Itsy Bitsy, but first…how about learning a few simple tricks?" the Doctor said. "Like sit up, lay down, play dead?"

"Can we build a tiny house for him?" Jack said.

The Dalek fell silent, its eyestalk swiveled around, looking at everyone before his attention went back to the Doctor."


A tiny bolt of electricity shot out and hit the Doctor on the chin. The Doctor gasped in surprise at the mild, harmless shock the Dalek gave him. Jack snatched him from the Doctor's hand and got down on one knee. People gave him odd looks when he put the Dalek face down on his leg and began to spank the Dalek with two fingers.

"Bad Bob, you don't shock people!" Jack said as he "spanked" the Dalek. "That's a bad, bad Bob!"

"Bob? We're calling him Bob then?" the Doctor said as Jack stood back up.

"Yes. Bob the Diminutive Dalek. And I'm going to write a children's book about him and make millions."

They looked at Bob. He was in Jack's hand but he'd fallen silent.

"I think he's in shock," Rose said to them.

"Probably," the Doctor said. "He probably imagined himself some big, bad Dalek killer and now he's been turned over a human's knee and spanked. Probably overwhelming for the poor little lamb."

"Is this the Dalek's new plan? Mini Daleks?" Ianto asked.

"No, they're pets now. They're going to make Dalek pets and lull the humans into a false sense of security when the mini Daleks conquer the Earth."

"PUT ME DOWN," Bob finally said.

"No, you're my pet now, Bob. I claim you," Jack said.


"Doesn't scare me, Bob, I can't die," Jack said smugly. "Besides, you only seem capable of giving people a mild shock so if I were you, I'd behave before I give you another spanking!"

Bob didn't say anything more and Jack patted him on the dome.

"Good boy," Jack said. "So, my friends, shall we continue on and see London with our new pet?"

Jack stroked Bob on his dome while the four of them headed on towards Piccadilly Circus.

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