Chapter Eighty Six

Jack, Ianto and Rose came out of Harrods with shopping bags and they stopped when they saw the Doctor standing there on the pavement, his face reddened by anger.

"Hey's what's wrong?" Jack said.

"What's wrong is I had an invasion of privacy issue on my break time. This lot that's reading this story went into my lavatory and watched me sit on the toilet and…well, they're lucky I'm here at all. I considered walking out of this story completely."

"You can't, you have a contract obligation," Ianto said.

"Sod the contract, I didn't sign up to be ogled on the bog. Are people really that interested in my life that they have to watch me defecate? Should I sign my poo and fling it at them so they can sell it on Ebay? Is that what the little vultures want? Will it be my kidney next?"

"Whoa, chill out," Jack said. "It's over and done with. Just move on and get back to the story."

"Fine! But I am taking this up with the fanfic characters' union when I'm done because I want more money in exchange for invasion of privacy. Wait a tick."

He walked several feet away from them and took a series of deep breaths while his friends watched. He did a Buddhist chant while Jack checked his watch and tapped his foot impatiently. Finally after five minutes, he was back to his calm, lovable, happy self and he strolled back over to them.

"Okay, where were we," he said to them.

Rose handed him the script and he glanced through it, nodded and handed it back to her. He cleared his throat and waited for the next scene…


The Doctor opened the door of his TARDIS and everyone went inside. Jack glared at him when he went over to the leg lamp and unplugged it.

"Hey! That's a lamp!" Jack said.

"It's an eyesore and I won't have it distracting me while I'm piloting the TARDIS," the Doctor said. "You want it, take it to your room."

Jack gave him a defiant look and walked over and plugged the lamp back in. He turned to the Doctor, daring him to make a move. The Doctor was about to shove him away and destroy the hated lamp when he had a sudden thought. Whistling, he walked away from it and out of the console room while everyone stared at him.

"Come along, Christmas is here," he yelled when he walked out of the back door.

"He's up to something, I can just tell," Jack said before he and Ianto walked away.

Rose started to follow them when a thought crossed her mind. A deliciously evil thought. She giggled and asked the TARDIS to do something special for her…


When Rose finally got to the living room, she stopped in the doorway and stared at the tree the TARDIS had designed for them. It was white with TARDIS blue Christmas lights strung around it and gold garland that wound around the tree. There were ceramic ornaments of all ten Doctors and every companion he ever had and the tree topper was a tiny plastic TARDIS. Rose was enchanted. She took her gifts to the tree and looked it over while she laid everything out under it. She found the ninth Doctor near the top of the tree and gently ran her fingers down him before she started looking for herself.

"I found me and Ianto," Jack said. "We're on the left side. I'm beside a penguin. Don't know why I'm beside a penguin. Surely the Doctor didn't have one for a companion. If you wanna know where you are, you're near the top on this side," Jack said, pointing to the right side of the tree. You're by his sixth life with that clown outfit he had on. That's what drew my eye to the top of the tree and then I saw you. Actually, your ornament is cute. Take a look."

Rose went around the side and looked up. She found the Sixth Doctor and then she saw herself. Her mouth opened in delight when she saw her ornament. Unlike the others, who were by themselves, she was in between the ninth and tenth Doctors. Both versions had their arms around her and she had her arms around their backs and had a huge smile on her face. Both Doctors were holding big hearts in their free hands and on the hearts she could see FOREVER written in black lettering. A lump came to her throat and she got misty eyed while she stared at it.

"Thought you might like it," Jack said as he and Ianto came up behind her.

"It's beautiful, I want to keep it when we're done here," Rose said. "It's too beautiful to go back in a box."

"So!" the Doctor said, coming inside carrying a bagful of gifts. "All ready then?"

"Where'd you get gifts?" Ianto said. "You didn't have any outside Harrods."

"TARDIS makes them for me which is why I don't need money to give my friends Chrismas gifts," he said as he pulled them out of the bag and laid them under the tree.

"Rose wants her ornament when we're done here," Jack said.

"Well, when I get my air rifle, she can have the ornament."

"Excuse me?" Rose said.

"You heard me, Tyler."

"You're bribing me now," Rose said.

"I want my air rifle and I will have it!" the Doctor said.

"Then ask the TARDIS to make it for you!" Rose said.

"No, this is Christmas and it's not fair to ask her to make something you can give me with your own money."

Rose rolled her eyes and Jack chuckled while he patted her cheek.

"So, who will play Father Christmas and pass out the gifts then?" the Doctor said.

"I will," Ianto said.

"Good man. Go to it!" the Doctor said.

He and Rose sat down on the sofa while Jack sat down on the chair beside it. Ianto sat on the floor near the tree and called out people's names while he handed the presents to everyone and put his presents beside him. When he was through, everyone tore into the wrapping with glee.

Jack frowned when he tore the wrapping off a gift given to him by the Doctor and saw it was Madonna's Sex book.

"Why?" Jack said, holding it up.

"Because you like sex and you like Madonna?" the Doctor said innocently while Rose giggled.

"Whatever," Jack said, putting it on the wooden table beside him.

"Venusian Berry Coffee?" Ianto said to the Doctor as he held up a pound of coffee in a brown bag.

"Excellent coffee, you'll love it. I drank that constantly when I was training with the Venusians. You're a coffee connoisseur so I thought you might enjoy it."

Ianto sniffed the bag and grinned at the pleasant smell. He sat it aside and unwrapped the next gift. Meanwhile, Rose unwrapped one from the Doctor and her eyes widened when she saw a plush representation of the ninth Doctor.

"Squeeze its belly," the Doctor said.

She did and grinned when she heard "Fantastic!" being uttered in the ninth Doctor's voice as it came out of a speaker inside the doll's belly. She squeezed it again and laughed when the doll said, "For the last time, Jack, quit trying to mount me while I'm working on the console!"

"When did you say that?" Jack said while Rose laughed hysterically.

"Oh, I'm sure I said it several times. You were always trying to rape me while I was doing repairs."

"Sure I was, Doctor," Jack said while Rose sniggered.

Rose squeezed it again.

"My Rose," it said.

Rose got misty eyed again and the Doctor rubbed her cheek when she held it tightly to her breast.

"Love it," Rose said.

"Good," the Doctor said. "Since I got a favorable review for it, I'll open one of yours in return."

Rose watched eagerly as he selected a large rectangular one and pulled the red wrapping off it. It was a white box and he opened it, eager to see what was inside. His face dropped when he saw a mass of pink furry fabric inside.

"Stand up and pull it out," Rose said.

The Doctor stood up, grabbed it and pulled out a large furry outfit. He could see a bunny tail and what looked like fuzzy bunny slippers at the end of the pink trouser legs. He turned it upright and realized it was a gaudy rabbit costume complete with ears. He looked at Rose in confusion while Jack and Ianto stopped what they were doing and watched.

"You want your gun, you wear that for me," Rose said, pointing to it. "See, you're not the only one who can bribe people."

"You got that at Harrods?" Ianto said. "Where? In the LSD Easter Bunny department?"

"No, I told the TARDIS to make it for me because the Doctor is going to earn that air rifle!" Rose said smugly.

The Doctor looked over the last of his unwrapped gifts.

"Where is it? Because I don't see a gift large enough to hold an air rifle," he said to her.

"I set it aside," Rose said. "You'll get it when you put that on for me. And put it on and come back in here and wear it for five minutes. That's the deal!"

The Doctor was speechless while Jack and Ianto giggled. Rose gave him a smug look.

"Well, go on, you want the gun, put it on," she said.

The Doctor stared at her for a moment before letting out a sigh and trudging out the door, dragging the bunny costume behind him.

Back                         Home                              Doctor Who Main Page                          Next

Your Name or Alias:      Your E-mail (optional):

Please type your review below. Only positive reviews will be posted! Constructive criticism will e-mailed to the author.