Chapter Eighty Seven

"Hardy har har," Jack said dryly.

While Rose was waiting for the Doctor to come back, she decided to squeeze the doll's belly again.

"Rose," the doll said, "tell me again why we decided to take Harkness along with us? The man can't stop raping things and I hate telling aliens that he's a sex fiend."

"I'm so glad you got that bunny costume for the Doctor because I'm gonna really enjoy seeing him in it," Jack said to her.

Rose smiled and squeezed the doll's belly again.

"I am the Oncoming Storm, grrrrr. Fear me!"

Rose giggled and cuddled the doll to her chest. As she glanced over at the door she noticed a flash of pink and realized the Doctor had been sticking his head just inside the doorway and moved it away when she turned her head towards the door.

"Get in here and show us the costume or no gun," Rose yelled as Jack and Ianto turned their attention to the door.

"Do I have to?" the Doctor whined outside the door.

"You want the gun, come in here and sit," Rose said.

The Doctor let out a sigh and stepped inside. Jack and Ianto guffawed when they saw him. He was dressed head to to in the bunny outfit with only his face showing. He gave them all an annoyed look and flipped off the ceiling of the TARDIS when she rumbled out laughter.

"Now, my little Easter bunny, sit," Rose said, pointing to the sofa cushion beside her.

The Doctor trudged over to the sofa, shooting daggers at Jack who was giggling insanely at his outfit.

"You're next in this costume if you don't button it, Harkness," he said to Jack as he flopped down on the sofa.

"You need to wear that when you're battling bad guys, you really do," Jack said when he finally was able to speak again. "That is so you!"

"I'm hot and sweaty now," the Doctor whined while Rose unwrapped a gift. "Can I take it off now."

"Three more minutes," Rose said. "Oh, a book on…the history of London. Jack, why'd you get me this?"

"Because then you can go up to tourists and show off your vast knowledge of your city," Jack said. "And you can make money doing it."

"When am I gonna do that since I'm traveling with him?" Rose said, pointing to the Doctor.

"Well, eventually, Peter Cottontail's gonna boot you out the door with his big fuzzy bunny slippers, right? So you need employment after that," Jack said.

"The only place these slippers are going are up your arse and into your brain if you don't belt up," the Doctor said. "Rose, is it time now?"

"Yes, you can take it off now," Rose said.

They laughed when the Doctor zoomed out of the room shouting "Halleluiah!"

"See, I do have some control over the boy," Rose said, getting up from the sofa.

"Yes, you do and I'm very impressed," Jack said.

Rose walked out of the room, walked to a cupboard just down the passageway, opened it and pulled out a long, wrapped gift that resembled a two by four. She took it back into the living room and showed it to Jack and Ianto.

"So that wasn't a lie then," Ianto said.

"No, I wasn't lying. You think I'd make him go through that humiliation just for shits and giggles?"

"Yes," Jack and Ianto said in unison.

"Well, perhaps, but I decided the poor lamb suffered enough humiliation without telling him I didn't buy him his gift on top of it," Rose said, sitting back down and laying the gift across her lap.

Everyone waited for the Doctor to come back inside. Ten minutes later, he walked into the room.

"Blimey, it's a million degrees inside that pink monstrosity," he said before spying the gift on Rose's lap.

He froze and Rose chuckled at the delighted look on his face. He jogged over to the sofa and started to touch the box.

"Stop!" Rose said, holding up a finger.

"Now what?" the Doctor said in exasperation as he threw up his arms. "You want me to put on a purple mongoose costume now?"

"Um…no, but that's an idea worth pursuing," Rose said while Jack and Ianto giggled. "No, there are two conditions you must fulfill before I hand you this gift."

"And those conditions are…" the Doctor said.

"Number one, I want that ornament on the tree," Rose said, pointing to it.

The Doctor shrugged and nodded. Rose grinned.

"Number two, I want a nice Crimbo kiss on the lips and then you shall be given your gift."

The Doctor smiled and leaned in. They snogged passionately for a moment before the Doctor pulled away.

"Number three, kiss Jack's bum cheeks, both of em," Rose said.

"Yippee!" Jack said, leaping up.

"Wait! You said two conditions!" the Doctor said while Jack turned around, bent over and pointed to his ass.

"Both cheeks if you don't mind," he said, looking over at the Doctor.

"Now, wait a moment. I did everything you asked including putting on the manky rabbit costume. I'm not putting my lips on Jack's arse, sorry."

"Only kidding," Rose said. "You may have your gift now."

"Wait, you were bullshitting about that?" Jack said in shock. "I want him to kiss my ass!"

"Sorry, Jackie boy, my lips are strictly for Rose," the Doctor said gleefully as he took the gift off her lap.

Jack groaned at that but shut up when Ianto got up and kissed both butt cheeks before sitting back down.

"Ooo, that was just as good. Never mind, you can have Rose," Jack said before turning and sitting back down beside his lover.

"I hope it tasted good back there," the Doctor said as he sat down beside Rose.

"I've kissed it before," Ianto said with a shrug.

Rose laughed when the Doctor looked at her and made a face.

"Tad too much information just then, eh?" he said while Rose nodded.

He tore the wrapping off his gift and grinned when he saw the white box with RED RYDER on it. Under it was a drawing of Red Ryder aiming his gun beside a larger drawing of the gun itself. The Doctor grinned and kissed Rose on the lips.

"You made my day," he said to her.

"Good. Don't wanna hear about it any longer, especially if you do shoot your eye out."

"I'm not going to shoot my fuckle-doodle-doo eye out," the Doctor said, rolling his eyes while Rose laughed.


After the gifts were unwrapped and everything was cleared away, they had a traditional Christmas dinner with Christmas pudding and Christmas crackers. Rose was wearing the little purple crown she got from her cracker while she sat in the living room with the lights off. The tree was plugged in and the blue lights were the only illumination in the room. Rose had taken her ornament off the tree and was holding it near her body while she gazed at the lights. She was so engrossed in the lights that she didn't realize the Doctor had come into the room until she felt his finger running down her cheek. She looked up at him and smiled at his handsome face illuminated by the pale blue light coming from the tree.

"All alone on Christmas?" he said to her.

"Just watching the tree, used to do that all the time when I was a kid. Mum would put up the tree and turn out the lights and I'd sit and stare at it for awhile."

The Doctor sat down beside her and put her arm around her.

"You didn't shoot your eye out yet," Rose said.

"I didn't open the box yet," the Doctor said.

Rose frowned and looked at him.

"Why? Something wrong with it?" she asked.

"No, no. I wasn't going to use it. I have a cowboy collection, one of many things I collect actually, and I wanted that to add to it. I was having you on about wanting it that badly and I wasn't gonna be gutted if you didn't get it. But you did take the trouble to get it for me and I thank you for that. And…TARDIS reproduced some money for me to pay you back because I really wasn't serious about it all. I rather liked spending time with my friends and that was the entire point of it all. I didn't know how much you spent on it so here's fifty quid. Consider it another Christmas gift," he said, putting the money in her lap. "And you can have the ornament. I figured you'd want it anyway when I asked the TARDIS to design it."

"You ever miss having a regular Christmas?" Rose said.

"No, because I can have Christmas any time I want," the Doctor said. "And…I can have Christmas without the family fights, drunkenness, headaches of cooking for hours and hours. I get the fun without the hassle. Why do you ask?"

"Because I was thinking about how lonely you must get sometimes, not having a real family of your own now."

"I do have a real family, you lot are my family. And everyone represented on that tree, minus me, is a part of my family. So I don't get as lonely as you might think."

Rose watched while he gently took the ornament from her hand and set it on the table beside him. He glanced at the door, muttered "Just making sure the sex fiend isn't there," before he leaned in and snogged Rose. Rose sighed through her nose as she and him snogged passionately and the TARDIS, seeing what they were doing, piped in Silver Bells to add to the mood.

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