Chapter Ninety Six

"So where to now?" Jack asked as they walked out of Rose Land.

"Well…there is Doctor Land, Terrorland, Adventure Land and Gallifrey Land," the Doctor said to them.

"Gallifrey Land!" Rose yelled.

"Yes, I just said that, are you deef?" the Doctor said to her. "Oh, oh! You mean you want to go there next. Why?"

"Because I want to see what Gallifrey looks like," Rose said with a shrug.

"Um…it doesn't look like a theme park, Rose," the Doctor said. "Going into Gallifrey Land will not give you the same experience as landing on my home planet."

"Well, just show us what's there then," Rose said, exasperated.

The Doctor grinned and pulled her close to him.

"You didn't want that manky robot, did ya?" he said while Jack sighed and looked at Ianto.

"Nah, I told him to let me go, are you deef?" Rose teased.

"No, my hearing is exceptional. I was just making sure you preferred the real me over the robot," he said to her.

"Jealous much, Doc?" Jack said.

"Perhaps we should go to Terrorland next," the Doctor said to Rose. "It has a torture chamber that we can put Harkness in."

"Is it anything like your non-scary graveyard?" Jack said.

"Rose, why must Jack taunt me when I'm trying to enrich his life?" the Doctor said to Rose.

"Because…Jack is Jack?" Rose said.

"Good point, Jack is most definitely Jack," the Doctor said.

"Yes, I am and you lot are the better for it," Jack said.

"No comment," the Doctor muttered to Rose while she giggled.

She held his hand while they walked. Up ahead she noticed a red dalek was gliding around. She glanced at the Doctor and saw the unconcerned look on his face and figured this was another theme park robot. The dalek stopped when it saw the Doctor.

"IT IS THE DOCTOR. HE MUST BE EXTERMINATED!" it yelled while it glided towards him.

The Doctor stopped and waited for it to come up to him. Everyone stopped with him and watched. The Doctor smirked when the dalek got close and when it was almost near he suddenly threw up his hands and screamed, "BOOGA BOOGA BOO!" The dalek let out a girly scream, spun around and zoomed away.

"Yup, I'm fearsome," the Doctor said as they resumed walking.

"Oh yes, you're a real holy terror alright," Jack said, rolling his eyes. "I'm surprised people don't drop dead at the sight of you."

"I know. I guess people have strong hearts," the Doctor said airily.

Rose suddenly stopped and the Doctor stopped with her and looked where she was looking. There was a big bronze statue off to the right. There was a statue of Rose standing in the middle of Nine and Ten. Both men had one arm each and they were pulling Rose almost as if they were trying to pull her apart while they were glaring at each other. The statue Rose had a distressed look on her face while they were doing it. Rose walked over to the marble base and looked at the bronze plaque on it. The plaque read…BACK OFF, SHE'S MINE! Rose looked over her shoulder at the Doctor who was now sniggering.

"What is this?" Rose said, pointing to the statue.

"Isn't it obvious? It's me in competition with myself for your affections," the Doctor said. "You did see a sampling of that earlier with the Doctor robot, right?"

"Okay, so where's the naked statue of me with the big breasts?" Rose said, walking back to him.

"There is no such thing. This is a family theme park. I wouldn't subject the kids to gratuitous nudity," the Doctor said.

"Okay, gotta ask now. What kids?" Jack said.

"Come on," the Doctor said, ignoring him while he took Rose's hand. "On to Gallifrey Land!"

"I'm guessing it's the kids he makes up inside his mentally ill mind," Jack muttered to Ianto as they followed them.


Gallifrey Land had a red and orange color scheme with fake trees with silver leaves on them. In the center of it was a tiny mockup of the Citadel inside a large glass dome. The paths were painted red to resemble the red grass and the walls were painted orange to represent the sky, the Doctor explained as they walked along. Rose noticed several wooden signs on some of the walls that said EMOTION PROHIBITED. Rose finally stopped at the third sign and pointed to it while she looked at the Doctor.

"What does that mean? You have emotions," Rose said.

"Yes, but I'm the…oddball of Gallifrey," the Doctor said.

"Got that right," Jack muttered to Ianto.

"Logic was highly prized on my planet. Emotion less so. I'm not saying that the Time Lords didn't have emotions. They just learned to control them at all times," the Doctor said.

"While you, on the other hand, are a crybaby blabberbutt who has more hormonial episodes than a pregnant woman," Jack said.

"I'm beginning to feel an emotion now actually," the Doctor said to Rose. "I believe it's called unbridled rage and it's going to be directed at Harkness if he doesn't button it."

"But that would indicate a loss of control," Jack teased as he poked him in the back.

"Yes, it would and unfortunately for you, you'll bear the brunt of it if you don't do the button it thing I requested a moment earlier," the Doctor said, keeping his eyes on Rose. "Anyway, just to have a bit of fun, get really emotional, Rose, and see what happens."

Rose thought for a moment and then scrunched her face up and pretended to cry.

"Keep going, more, more!" the Doctor said, looking around.

"Ham it up, Blondie!" Jack said.

Rose wailed and sobbed and grabbed her hair. Then suddenly she spied a man dressed in red Time Lord robes come out from behind a nearby wall. The man was holding a red Styrofoam bat in his red gloved hand. He had a stern look on his face as he approached Rose who by now had stopped her fake tears to watch him. Then suddenly the Time Lord began to smack her over the head with the foam bat.

"FOR RASSILON'S SAKE, CONTROL YOURSELF. YOU'RE ON GALLIFREY NOW!" the Time Lord said while he hit her with the bat.

Jack and Ianto fell into each other laughing while the Time Lord chased Rose around with the bat, smacking her on the head while he kept yelling at her to control herself.

"ALRIGHT, I HAVE MY EMOTIONS UNDER CONTROL! STOP!" Rose screamed at him while she covered her head.

"Screaming indicates a loss of emotions. You are not in control!" the Time Lord said as he continued to chase her with the bat.

"DOCTOR, TELL THIS BARKING MAD ROBOT TO STOP HITTING ME BEFORE I TEAR IT APART!" Rose screamed at the Doctor as she ran past him.

"That'll be all, good work," the Doctor said, holding up his hand to the robot when it was about to go past him. "You can relax now."

The robot nodded and Rose gasped for air while the robot went back behind the wall. Jack and Ianto giggled hysterically while Rose stomped back to the Doctor, a sour look on her face.

"I warned you about your emotions," the Doctor teased, wagging his finger at her.

"You know, I can see now why mum felt the need to slap you so much," Rose said while Jack giggled and tousled her hair.

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