Chapter Ninety Seven

"Behold, the history of my planet!" the Doctor said as they stopped in front of a huge rectangular building that was painted burnt orange. A large Time Lord similar to the one who chased Rose was painted on the side of it and he was pointing to large black lettering beside him that said HISTORY OF GALLIFREY. The Doctor led them to the side to a pair of metal doors that were painted orange. The doors had ENTER on both of them and the Doctor pulled the handle and allowed them to go inside.

When Rose, Jack and Ianto entered, they saw a large plaster model of Gallifrey. Rose examined it in fascination while the Doctor entered and closed the doors behind him.

"Gallifrey!" the Doctor's voice said as it boomed out of a speaker above them. "The greatest planet ever known. Here lived the mightiest of all the races, the Time Lords!"

"Ooo-ee-ooo," Jack said to the Ianto as he wiggled his fingers.

"The Time Lords were a species like no other," the recording said. "So much better than apes who have barely progressed beyond scratching their bums and picking fleas out of their hair."

"Oh, really?" Rose said to the Doctor, folding her arms over her chest.

"The exception to that is Rose Tyler who is super duper supreme among all humans," the recording said.

"Oh, okay then, that's fine with me," Rose said while the Doctor giggled.

"What about Ianto?" Jack said, pointing to him. "He's not super duper?"

"Ianto Jones is also super duper," the recording suddenly said. "And before Jack says something, he's not among the super duper so he shouldn't bother asking."

"Tee hee," Jack said dryly. "I'm guessing the TARDIS is listening in?"

"The TARDIS is indeed listening in," the recording said. "And having fun enjoying your fun."

"Well, I'm glad the TARDIS is having fun mocking me," Jack said.

"And now that you have seen the planet, progress further into the exhibit and see what made it so great," the recording said.

"Come on," the Doctor said, beckoning to his friends.

They followed him down a short passageway to a pair of black metal doors. The Doctor opened them and they walked in. They saw fake red grass and silver trees on either side of them. The background was painted burnt orange with two suns in the sky and in the distance was the citadel.

"This is the surface of Gallifrey," the recording said while they stood and looked at at the tableau. "The red grass, burnt orange sky and silver trees are typical of Gallifreyan topography. There were also oceans, mountains, forests and deserts. Gallifrey's ecology was just as varied as Earth and the flora was also abundant. Some described Gallifrey as a paradise unparalleled in the universe."

The lights dimmed and the Doctor beckoned for them to follow him. They walked to another pair of doors at the other end of the room and went into the next one. The next room looked like a lavish throne room. The walls were painted gold and there was gold leaf all over the floor. Off to their right was a woman sitting on a large gold throne while men and women prostrated themselves before her. The woman had extremely pale skin, blue eyes and long silvery hair that fell down to her breasts. She was wearing a pale blue linen dress with a gold collar around her neck. She had an imperious look on her face while she gazed at the worshippers.

"In the beginning, there was the Pythia," the recording said. "A powerful woman and an oracle who ruled over all through the power of her visions. She was a despot who treated other Gallifreyans like slaves and dirt. This woman had absolute power of life and death over her subjects. She ruled with an iron hand until a man called Rassilon rose up to defeat her."

A hidden door in the wall behind the throne opened and a young animatronic man with short brown hair slid out and slid along a track in the floor until he was beside the throne. The man wore silver robes and silver boots.

"This man is Rassilon, the defeater of the Pythia," the voice said as the Pythia robot rose up and left along another track that led to another hidden door in the wall. As the robot was leaving, the worshippers stood up and bowed at the waist to the Rassilon robot.

"Rassilon took control and so began the golden age of the Time Lords," the voice said.

The lights dimmed and they moved on to the next room. The next room had Time Lord robots standing in groups on either side of them, looking down at them haughtily.

"Thanks to Rassilon, the Time Lords became the administrators and protectors of Gallifrey," the voice said. "However, there were some who dared to show emotion and they were dealt with severely!"

A hidden door opened behind the Time Lords to their left and Rose's eyes bulged when she saw an animatronic version of herself zooming along a track while a robot Time Lord hit her on the head with a foam bat. Jack and Ianto laughed while they listened to the Rose robot's high-pitched screams while she and the Time Lord zoomed around and around on a circular track beside the standing Time Lords.

"Yeah, that's hilarious, that is," Rose said to the Doctor.

"Blame the TARDIS, she's controlling all this," the Doctor said with a shrug.

Rose chuckled when he nudged her side and watched while her robot self went around and around while the Time Lord robot hit her repeatedly on the head with the bat.

"Yes, emotions were a big no-no in the logical environment of Gallifrey," the voice said.

"So where are you in all this?" Rose said to the Doctor. "You're not included in this?"

The Doctor shrugged.

"Told ya, the TARDIS is controlling this," the Doctor said.

"Then how'd ya know about the Time Lord with the bat then?" Rose said.

"TARDIS told me," the Doctor said, tapping his temple. "Telepathy. She told me to tell you to get emotional and see what happens."

"So she's enjoying this?" Rose said. "She loves seeing me get assaulted by a robot with a bat?"

"She's very bored," the Doctor said. "She has to find entertainment whenever she can."

Rose rolled her eyes and grinned when the Doctor poked her side. The lights dimmed again and they went into the next room. Rose did a double take when they entered the next room and she saw an enormous pair of feet and legs on either side of them. The legs wore the brown trousers the Doctor wore and when they craned their necks up, they realized they were looking at a fifty foot statue of the Doctor. They stepped back to get a better view. The Doctor was standing with his hands on his hips while he raised his head in a haughty manner.

"And now, the greatest of all Time Lords, the Doctor," the voice said.

"So are we supposed to be ants compared to you?" Ianto said, pointing up.

"Yes, mere mortals are ants compared to the Doctor," the voice said.

"I suppose that means yes," the Doctor said.

"Is the Doctor gay then?" Jack yelled out.

He waited for the TARDIS to echo his statement. For a moment there was only silence and then they heard…

"The Doctor is a great humanitarian, a leader among men, a culture vulture and a chic dresser," the voice said.

"But is he gay?" Jack yelled out.

"The Doctor can blend in with any surrounding, can become anyone," the voice said.

"But is he gay?" Jack yelled.

The Doctor robot lowered his head and looked right at Jack.

"NO!" it bellowed in a deep, booming voice before raising his head to the sky again.

"I think that was the answer to your question," Ianto said to Jack.

"Ya think?" Jack said while Rose snickered.

Rose noticed a hidden door opening in the wall off to their right. Her eyes bulged when another Rose robot came out, came up to the Doctor's shoe and bent over it. They heard a big kissing sound and then the robot leaned back up and did it again and again and again. Jack and Ianto laughed when Rose looked at the Doctor and raised her eyebrow.

"So is this me worshipping you then?" she asked, pointing to the robot.

"You don't worship me?" the Doctor said innocently. "I mean, I thought you bent down and kissed my feet all the time."

"No, I think it's your ass she kisses," Jack said.

"Button it, Harkness," Rose said while the Doctor sniggered.

"They can't show that because the arse is way up there," Ianto said, pointing up.

"Oh yeah, that's right," Jack said. "And in order to reach it, Rose would have to be bigger than ant size and then the proportions would be wrong."

Robot Rose leaned back up after another kissing of the shoe.

"I worship the Doctor," the robot said. "He is my god."

"I do not," Rose said to the TARDIS while the three men giggled. "For a ship, you're really cheeky, you know that?"

The three men shut up when Rose was suddenly bathed in a pink light that covered her whole body. A contented look came over her face and she sighed happily.

"What was that all about?" Jack said to the Doctor while he gestured to Rose.

"That was the TARDIS giving Rose love and affection and happy feelings," the Doctor said. "Call it a love light, it makes you feel all warm and cozy inside."

"Oh really? Can I have some of the love light?" Jack said to the ceiling.

He waited and gave the TARDIS a peeved look when the lights dimmed and the robots stopped moving.

"She just said no, keep moving," the Doctor said to Jack.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Jack muttered as the Doctor patted him on the shoulder and they walked towards the other end of the room.

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