DOCTORS AND PRACTICAL JOKES
Chapter Ten It was a boring day on the TARDIS and Ian and Barbara were getting a bit of cabin fever. Both of them were eager to return to their lives and their jobs at Coal Hill School and they were both frustrated that the Doctor seemed to be taking his sweet time taking them back home. "Ian, talk to him, he can't hold us hostage forever," Barbara said to Ian as they walked towards the console room. "I really don't think he's holding us hostage," Ian said. "Oh really? Then why does he ignore our repeated requests to go home?" Barbara said. "He started up the TARDIS the moment we stepped inside it and he's taking us along while we risk our lives. I can't deny that parts of it have been wonderful but I'm tired of running from madmen and creatures. Will you speak with him, Ian? He seems to respect you more than me." "Yes, yes, I'll have a word with him," Ian said, holding up his hand. He hurried away, eager to get away from Barbara's nagging. He also felt homesick at times but there was the lure of adventure and danger that he had to admit he liked. Still, he figured it wouldn't hurt to ask the Doctor once more to take them home. He entered the console room. The Doctor was sitting in a leather chair across the room from him. He hadn't seen Ian come in because his attention was on a small, black rectangular device. Ian paused a moment and listened to the Doctor. Whatever the device was, he could hear a high pitched "Weeee" coming from it followed by the faint sound of something falling. "Damn!" the Doctor muttered to himself. "Blast those piggies. I must kill them all!" Ian frowned. "Piggies?" he muttered to himself. He watched while the Doctor put his fingers on the device for a moment and then drew his hand back. He heard another faint "Weee" followed by the faint sounds of demolition. "Blast! I can't kill that infernal piggy to save my life!" the Doctor growled. "Doctor?" The Doctor looked up. "Oh, Chesterton, what is it?" the Doctor said. "What...uh...what are you doing?" Ian said, pointing to the device. "I'm playing Angry Birds on my Kindle Fire." Ian stared at him for a moment. "What's Angry Birds and what's a Kindle Fire?" he finally asked. "Kindle Fire is this little device here," the Doctor said, holding it up, "and Angry Birds is the game I'm currently playing on it." "Why are you going on about piggies then?" Ian said. "Becuase my dear boy, the object of the game is to throw birds at structures that contain green pigs inside them and you must kill all the piggies to advance to the next level." Ian stared at him for a moment. "And...you're having trouble killing the piggies," he finally said. "Quite so. Those blasted piggies will be the death of me one day," the Doctor said, tapping the monitor of his Kindle Fire emphatically. "But what do you want? I'm busy killing piggies." Ian was at a loss for words, not sure he wanted to tell the Doctor what Barbara wanted when the Doctor seemed to be in a piggy killing mood. "Nothing, you just go on killing piggies," he finally said. "Quite so. I shall see you later then, Chesterton." "Yeah," Ian said. The Doctor watched him go and when he left the room, the Doctor grinned impishly and chuckled to himself. "One think I love is confusing the hell out of the dear little apes," he said to himself. "Now...back to killing piggies..."
Back Home Doctor Who Main Page Next