DOWN ON THE FARM

A/N: This story is a part of my Something Old, Something New series. It's a huge series and very involved. There is a list of the stories and the order they should be read and my other series in my profile. It's also based on what David Tennant said during Midnight Con: 10.2 and Rose are organic cattle farmers and have twins - a boy and a girl - named Gallifrey and Debenhams. Since they already have children in this series, I'm using the concept of the organic cattle farming.

Chapter One

It was a pleasant morning on New Gallifrey. The Doctor was home at the moment, spending time with his wife, Rain, and children, Hope and Tara. Tara had dropped by to show her father an idea for a possible adventure and Hope was relaxing. The Academy was on a weeklong break and she had just earned a certificate of merit for perfect marks in all her classes. The Doctor rewarded her with a trip to a funfair and now the certificate was displayed on the wall behind the holotelevision. The Doctor was sitting on the sofa in between his children while Rain was upstairs, getting ready to go out on a shopping trip with Donna.

Tara let out an exasperated sigh at her father's teasing behavior. She was trying to interest him in a trip to a zoological park on a fairly distant planet but the Doctor was raising every objection he could find and poking fun at her.

"Dad, come on," Tara said.

"Come on, where? I'm taking a break from traveling at the moment," the Doctor said, amused. "I just got back from Genara Five and I'm spent. I don't wanna see a bunch of manky animals in a zoo. Zoos smell."

He grinned when Hope giggled at that. She was playing with her Nintendo DS but was still listening to the conversation.

"How about if I go with you?" Tara said.

"You smell as well. That would be double the agony."

"Dad!" Tara said exasperated.

"Tara!" the Doctor said, mocking her tone of voice.

Hope giggled some more and the Doctor tousled her hair affectionately.

"Okay…here," Tara said, reaching into her pocket.

The Doctor frowned when she pulled out five dollars and handed it to him.

"What's this for?" he said.

"Bribe."

"Five dollars, that's the amount of your bribe?" the Doctor said with raised eyebrow while Hope giggled.

"You're my father," Tara said, shrugging.

"Yes. I made an effort to bring you into this world so I deserve more."

"You didn't make me, you found me in Florida."

"Oh yeah, that's right. Sorry, I have eighteen million children and it's hard to keep track. Anyway, I'm a Time Lord and I deserve more."

"So? I'm a Time Lady," Tara said, shrugging.

"No, no, no, you don't understand. I'm THE TIME LORD so I deserve more," the Doctor said.

"Egocentric much, Dad?" Tara said.

"No, just being honest about my awesomeness," the Doctor said. "I was the last of my kind which makes me the first of everyone on this planet. That ups my bribe value and sorry, poppet, five dollars won't do it," he said, putting the money back in her lap. "Now…I might consider for 50,000 dollars and a rare white elephant…consider, mind," he said, holding his finger up in the air. "My daughter must please me before I make a decision."

"Hope, wanna go to the zoo?" Tara said to her sister.

"Yeah!" Hope said, bouncing in place.

"Now…I'm the father of this child," the Doctor said, holding up his hand. "I definitely made this one so…I have complete control over her comings and goings. So…if you want to take her, that'll be 100,000 dollars and an albino tiger," he said, holding out his hand.

"What's with the albino animals?" Tara said.

"Oh, that's my day job. I'm a poacher and I sell rare animals on the black market. I use my TARDIS but it's so tiring walking into the jungle and finding white animals. Why strain myself when I could get my daughter to do it for me?"

He chuckled when Tara playfully punched his arm. Then he heard a knock on his door and looked over to see Rose looking in at him from the bay window. Hope let out a squeal of delight, put her DS down on the sofa cushion and hurried over to the door while Rose walked over to it.

"Hey!" Hope said when she opened the door. "I got a certificate."

"Really? What for?" Rose said.

She followed Hope over to the wall and leaned in to read when Hope pointed to it.

"Wow, you got full marks in all your classes? I'm proud of you," Rose said when she finished reading it.

"Thanks, I did very good," Hope said.

"I'll say," Rose said.

"Hi, we're over here when she gets done tooting her own horn," the Doctor said, waving to Rose.

"Got that right," Tara muttered.

Rose rubbed Hope's back and Hope followed her while she walked over to the Doctor.

"I need your help," Rose said to the Doctor.

"Well…that would require 200, 000 dollars and a white rhinoceros," the Doctor said.

"What?" Rose said while Tara laughed.

"Never mind, private joke between me and my daughters. What do you need my help for?"

"You need to go and have a word with your brother," Rose said.

"Which brother? I have several."

Rose gave him a withering look.

"Which brother do you think I mean?" she said while the children giggled.

"Look, Rose," the Doctor said, getting up and putting his hands on her shoulders. "I love you dearly but I'm not breaking up one of Jack's orgies. Too messy and time consuming on my part."

"Not him!" Rose said while the children laughed harder. "The mental case that sprang from your hand!"

"Oh him!" the Doctor said, feigning surprise. "Why? What has the sane little angel gone and done now?"

"He hasn't done it yet," Rose muttered.

"Okay, so what has the sane little angel planned to gone and done then?"

"He wants to buy a farm," Rose said.

The Doctor stared at her.

"Come again?" he said.

"He wants to buy a farm and be an organic cow farmer," Rose said while the children giggled. "I've tried to talk him out of it but he won't listen to me so I need your help before he goes halfway across the planet and takes me with him!"

The Doctor held up a finger before he walked over to the stairs. Tara and Hope looked at each other before they and Rose followed him.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Rain was standing in the bathroom that was adjacent to her and her husband's room. She had just had a shower and was brushing her long hair when the Doctor walked into the room. Rain smiled tenderly at him and accepted the kiss on the cheek from her husband. She continued to brush her hair as the Doctor leaned against the sink counter and pulled out his mobile. Then she looked over when her children entered and her eyes widened with delight when she saw Rose.

"Hey, I wondered who was knocking on the door," she said to Rose. "Where's Dweebo?"

"At the house," Rose said. "That's why I'm here."

Rain was about to ask what that meant when the Doctor tapped her on the shoulder. She looked at him and he pointed to the mobile.

"Alan," he said when Alan answered the phone. "Your wife is over here asking for my help in deterring you from buying an organic cow farm."

Rose giggled when Rain's eyes boggled and she froze in mid-brush.

"He wants to buy what?" she said, turning towards her husband.

"A farm, Mummy. A moo moo farm," Hope said, coming up beside her.

The Doctor held up his finger for silence.

"Brother, I would think long and hard before doing this since your wife apparently doesn't want to go live on a farm," he said to Alan.

"Seriously?" Rain said to Rose.

Rose rolled her eyes and nodded. She looked at her husband when he tapped her on the shoulder again.

"Alan wishes us to go with him to inspect the farm so we can see how wonderful it is," he said to her.

"I'm going shopping with Donna," Rain said. "Where is this farm anyway?"

"Pleasure Valley," Rose said.

Rain spun around.

"That's on the other side of the planet," she said. "He wants to move that far for cows?"

"Yup," Rose said.

"And just when I thought the guy couldn't get any more moronic," Rain said sighing.

The Doctor tapped her on the shoulder again. She looked and he held out the mobile to her. Rain rolled her eyes and took it from him.

"Yes?" she said.

"I can hear everything you're saying to my wife," Alan said. "I do have excellent hearing."

"Apparently not since Rose keeps saying no to your idea of a farm and you won't listen," Rain said.

"Forget Donna and shopping. Come see it for youselves or…bring Donna along."

"Donna on the farm, yeah, she'll go for that in a heartbeat," Rain said dryly.

"Just come…bring the children, bring Rose. We'll take Daisy and I'll take you back in time to have your shopping spree with Donna."

Rain glanced at her husband, knowing he could hear everything and was listening.

"It's up to you, I'll go with him to pacify him but it's up to you if you want to come or not."

"Can you take us? I trust your driving skills more than I do his," Rain said.

"Hey, I'm an expert pilot," Alan protested.

"I trust you can get me back here before Donna comes, him, I'm not so sure," Rain said to her husband.

"I can do that," Alan protested.

"I want my husband to take us," Rain said to Alan. "If you let him do that, I'll go to Pleasure Valley and take a look at this farm. But that doesn't mean I agree with your decision to buy one."

"Thanks ever so muchly for your support," Alan said dryly.

"Can I go?" Hope said, tugging on the sleeve of her lavender blouse.

"Yes, you and your sister can go," Rain said. "And I'm going to go now because I have to change into something more appropriate for a farm so I'll let your brother talk to you."

"See you soon, Rainy," Alan said.

"Yeah, yeah," Rain muttered before handing the mobile back to her husband.

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