FREE TO ROAM
Author's Note: This is a sequel to Human Bindings, to understand the background of this fanfic you have to read that, otherwise this is pretty much a standalone. Constructive criticism fully welcome as I'm trying something new for me here. Oh! And also this isn't a River Bashing fic! Some of the dialogue I just stole from Big Bang Theory because I thought it needed some humour to lighten this fic up, and because I thought the lines were so River and the Doctor. One of the first things she did as a free Goddess was remind the Doctor of herself. Something told her, somewhere, sometime, he had erased himself, turned himself human, and the universe was on the verge of losing him forever if she didn't do something now. So it was largely a selfless act but yes there was an incredible amount of selfishness in this as well. Years upon years of being imprisoned makes a person selfish. Having everything denied to them makes them more than willing to do anything to satisfy their desires. And she desired the Doctor. She desired him as Rose, she desired him as a power locked away, and she desired him as a Goddess before she knew him, and now that she knew him…well she wanted him more than anything. So it wasn't a difficult fight with what little morality she had left to slip into the rooms of Mr John Smith, History teacher, and seduce the half asleep man. It was less difficult to convince him that it was a dream, and even less difficult to slip back out and sneak past the servants. In fact she had walked straight past Martha Jones, still dressed in her jeans and leather jacket, and the poor, obviously abused and tired, companion hadn't even blinked. Never mind it was 1913 and what she had been wearing would have caused such a scandal. With a smirk she left the time period, incredibly satisfied, and ready to see something new. She wanted to see at least five new planets, three different time periods, and perhaps even visit Jack again before she returned to the TARDIS to check on her Doctor. She was barely out of the school when she was attacked. She managed to dodge in time and flung two of her attackers, strange grey aliens with big dark eyes, telekinetically into the wall. "What the-" She barely got to finish her question when another creature attacked her. She didn't recognise this species! She was the Goddess of Time and she didn't recognise the species that attacked her! She had created everything! With a sound kick in the gut, and then a beautifully landed punch on another monster's face, she held her ground enough to ask, "who the bloody hell are you?" she demanded. "We are the Silence." "How dull," she commented, "I much prefer chaos." They weren't putting much of a fight and she managed to knock a few more out. She neatly stepped on a conscious one's throat, and snarled wolfishly at him. "What do you want?" he didn't answer and she grinded her foot on his throat, she was certain he almost whimpered, "I won't ask again," she warned. "We want the child," he gargled. "There is no child." And with that she disappeared safely into the Time Vortex, and went straight to Jack instead of going through her travelling plans. After all it appears she may have a rival, and a dangerous one at that. DWDWDWDWDWDW When The Doctor met River Song again he had a new face, a new TARDIS interior, and a new Companion. She still frustrated him as she did the last time as she remained just as much as a mystery to him as she had before. Because now she knew how to fly the TARDIS and apparently she was a murderer, and there was an implication that he knew her victim. She made him insanely curious and insanely guilty all the same time because this unknown woman was one day going to die for him. He was about pursue the topic when River's flirty smile faltered and she turned chalky white. He had never seen this confident and bold woman so terrified in the short time he had known her. His concern and curiosity took over and he whirled round in time just to catch Rose vanish into gold dust like she had before. He turned back to face a rather pale and frightened River. "You don't have to be frightened of her," he lied, and he knew it was lie because Rose was no longer Rose. Rose hadn't been frightening (unlike her mother) but this Goddess that had consumed Rose's soul was. He was terrified of her. She was all powerful, and something about her niggled at his memory. She could wander all of time and space and never come back to him. She could strike him down if he bored her. She was no longer his fluffy, sweet, pink and yellow human. And it scared him. He still missed her though. (He still loved her but he was never going to say it aloud.) "Yes I do," River said flatly, "as long as I pose as a threat to her I do." "How can you pose a threat to her?" he asked incredulously. He couldn't understand what River, a normal although incredibly amazing and brave woman, could be a threat to Kali, the Bad Wolf, Goddess of Time and Space. It made no sense to him. "How does any woman pose a threat to another woman?" He had no idea what River had meant, well okay, he sort of had an idea what River was on about, because Rose had always been jealous just as he had been jealous, and possessive, and perhaps even a little obsessive, and River, well Amy thought he was married to her, and she knew his real name, so perhaps he does marry her one day, but still…he hadn't really had a clue what River meant. Not properly. His suspicions are immediately confirmed though and he knew definitely what River meant when Amy forced her lips onto him, and then before he could respond (and he does mean shove her off of him! He doesn't kiss engaged women no matter what Mickey says!), she is immediately hauled off of him by a furious and golden Rose. "Don't you have a fiancée you can be doing that to?" she hissed in the young girl's ear. Amy whimpered, partially out of fear but mostly out of pain, and the Doctor's heart strings are tugged as all he can see is little Amelia Pond being threatened by a Wolf. "His not yours to have." "I-I-I" "Rose!" he snapped in his best stern voice. "She didn't mean anything, let her go." "She touched what is mine." Her eyes flashed gold and he shuddered a little. Not out of fear, oh how he wished it was fear, no he found it disturbingly arousing and pleasing that she felt that way about him. "She didn't mean anything by it," the Doctor said again, firmly, "she is innocent." "Hardly," Rose snorted derisively, and Amy flushed a bright red in embarrassment. "You cannot threaten my companions!" "Watch me." He acted then. Ran forward and shoved Rose off of Amy, and pulled the poor frightened girl into his arms but without thinking, he also took her hand and pressed his lips on her palm. "She was just trying to reassure herself that she is alive," he explained desperately and forcefully, "she didn't mean anything by it. She knows I'm not for her." He could feel Amy stiffen in his arms and knew that Amy might have had some sexual intentions to him after all but he knew better than she did, and it would have never lasted, it never did. To prove it he got Rory to join them on their travels. DWDWDWDWDWDWDW Rory doesn't tell the Doctor what he knows. He still remembers the Universe before it had been reset by the Doctor. He still remembers all the times, all the people, and all the things he had done to keep Amy safe, but more importantly he remembered being visited by Rose, or Kali, or whatever it is she wishes to be called. She would tell him stories, tales of old, and cheer him up with terrible jokes. Once she had even conjured up a flask of tea ("I didn't conjure," she sneered in a Doctor-ish manner, "I merely pulled it out of a timeline." Rory gaped at her disbelievingly. "So some poor picnickers will be wondering where their flask has gotten to?!" she smiled evilly at him, "You should have seen the Doctor that day, so flustered."). He couldn't drink it but it was nice just to hold a cup and pretend to feel the warmth, to smell the strong tea, and be able to do something so significantly human instead of living with the constant reminders of how he was a plastic robot. He didn't mention her steadily rounding belly, and definitely not her bigger breasts, or difficulty to sit down comfortably. Then one day, well it was all weird and twisted as in the future he will see her just as heavy, but this was a dark dusty day when he was still beneath the Stonehenge, and she appeared flat, pale, and very sad. "What happened to the-" he had been about to ask. "Safe," she interrupted coldly, the gorgeous blue eyed man held her to him. In fact he had brought her to Rory, carried her in his arms as she had been unconscious at the time, and introduced himself briefly before she woke up and Rory went to ask his question. "I made sure that they will never be in danger again." "I'm sorry." She softens and steps out of her friend's embrace as she pulls Rory into a strong hug. He could almost feel her warmth and tears through the plastic of his body. "I am sorry," she whispered, "I am so sorry." "What for?" "To save mine," he could barely hear her now, "I had to sacrifice yours." He had no idea what she meant. Not until the day Amy was turned into a pile of white goo before his eyes. DWDWDWDWDWDWDW At some point she softens a little, the Doctor can't quite put his finger on it but he knows she has. It was almost like having Rose back properly. She laughed, she smiled, she held his hand, and more importantly she showed that compassion. She gave it to Amy and Rory, she gave it to River, and she gave it to the people he tried to save. Then something happened and it was definitely like the old days. They always laugh at him! It is as if there is nothing wrong with them at all. And then something happens, someone threatens them, or he almost dies, or just something happens, and her eyes flash gold, and people turn to dust and the happy little façade ends. They didn't talk for two years, which to them was really two months it was such an insignificant amount of time in consideration of their life span, but for him it was a lifetime, he missed her, and he was miserable that he depended so much on her, but he couldn't stand the fact that she turned all of those helpless soldiers who were clueless to their cause into dust as if they were Daleks, and they had fought. He wanted her. She wanted him. But he wanted her to be pure, innocent, compassionate, caring, and more importantly human. And she merely wanted him when she wanted him, because her freedom was more important to her. She wanted to be able to roam wherever and whenever. They were never going to be a normal functioning couple. But neither of them were quite sure if that's what they wanted anyway. DWDWDWDWDWDWDW Newly regenerated Mels was celebrating the fact she finally completed her mission. She couldn't believe how easy it all was. All it took was on little kiss, a dab of poison, and ding dong the Doctor was dead! And then it all changed. The Doctor, despite being as cocky as possible, laid on the floor before her, and her parents were in some robot about to die. She had no idea what to do, and all of her instincts were telling her to run. She was just about to when an arm prevented her by wrapping itself round her neck. "Where do you think you're going?" a golden Goddess asked. Mels choked in reply. "Do you think I would let you get away touching my property? It's bad enough you tried to kill my Doctor but kiss him." She let Mels go, and the girl massaged her throat, and gasped for breath. "What is to you?" she scowled. "He is mine to do what I wish." "Oh that is where you are wrong," the Goddess purred. And then her mind is filled with torturous images. She saw things she never wanted to see. She saw the Silence, and what they were, and what they have made her, and what will be her future if she continued, and it made her weep. She was being tortured and saved all at once and it confused and hurt her. "He is mine," she saw the Doctor, and she saw this Goddess, and she knew she could never fit in that sort of life. She didn't want too. "And you are small, tiny, insignificant really….but you can grow if you wish." "Please…." She whispered in agony, "mercy." "Mercy," the Goddess agreed, she released Mels' mind from her painful hold, "but only because you are going to do these things," Mels would have agreed to anything at this point, "you will give your next….hmmm ten, isn't it? Yes, ten regenerations to the Doctor, I want him to live much longer than he really has to live. You will then fly the TARDIS and rescue your parents, and I will take you somewhere to rest and you will live your life as you please, till one day you die to save the Doctor – as penance, and," she looked Mels straight in the eye which caused the child to gulp pathetically, "you will never kiss him again. Understand?" "Yes," Mels croaked, "but…but how do I fly the TARDIS? I don't know how…" "I will teach you." It all becomes a blur after that. She gives her life force away and it drains her, it drains her so, and she doesn't wake up until she is in a hospital and the Goddess is sitting on the edge of her bed beside a very gorgeous man, dark hair, and blue eyes. "Hello," the Goddess smiled. She was nice when she smiled like that because it was a friendly one not a menacing predator one. "Hello," she said warily. "I have decided to become your teacher." It was an announcement and statement that left no room for arguing, and Mels knew that she would have no mercy in her lessons. She would be disciplined till she learnt the lesson. "Don't worry kiddo," the gorgeous man winked, "I will also be your teacher." She flushed at that and the Goddess rolled her eyes. And that was the end of Mels and the beginning of River Song. DWDWDWDWDWDWDW "I cannot marry you." The Doctor stood there before Rory and Amy, on the top of a pyramid, in a world about to be destroyed by paradoxes, and just been rudely, very rudely if you asked him, turned down by River Song. "What?" he squeaked. "But…what? I don't understand!" he shouted, because he really, really, really didn't understand. He had thought of her past behaviour, the fact that she knew his real name, and even of Rose's jealousy that bordered onto the murderous. "You acted like my wife the last few times I met you!" "Oh thanks!" River shouted exasperated, hands in the air before she slapped them onto her hips into a non-nonsense manner. "I have no choice now! Paradoxes!" "But! But!" The Doctor tried to defend himself. Trying to prove that all of that happened between her and him was not his fault. "You said my name-" "Was it to make you trust me?" River asked. "Yes," the Doctor admitted grudgingly, "but you flirted with me!" "I flirt with everyone!" River exclaimed. "Jack taught me!" Those had been some really good sessions and she means really good. She really liked Jack, to the point she almost fancied herself in love with him, and she couldn't really bring herself to like the Doctor in that way. Not anymore. Not now she has grown up. She was, of course, her mother's child. "It appears that my sword and I will need words with that man," Rory muttered darkly to his wife. Amy only agreed because she had not yet met Jack but if she did she would be full support for her daughter to pursue a relationship with him. Rory always was the sensible one of the two. "You called me sweetie!" "I call everyone sweetie." "You tramp." "Doctor," River sighed in frustration, "do you want to marry me?" "…No." "There we go then," River said happily, "we remain good friends, we save your life, I go on living mine with the occasional adventure with you, and we all live happily ever after, as much is possible in this life. So perhaps, just maybe, you could whisper your plan to me?" He does so, and they hug tightly as close friends do, and before he knew it the world righted itself and she 'killed' him. He barely escapes his burning body and collapses in the console room out of exhaustion. When he wakes up safe, and far too naked for his liking, in his own bed. Rose is sat beside him re-reading a Harry Potter book. She looks as lovely, and Goddess-y as ever since he had regenerated. He didn't say hello, or good morning, or anything like that, and he didn't babble nonsensically like he is prone to do when he wanted to do anything but talk about the subject, he just went straight to the point. "I didn't have to send you away," he said sadly, "I wasted our time." "Oh," she blinked, it was obviously not what she was expecting. "Is that why you left me with Jackie and the Human Metacrises?" she asked, "Because you thought you had to marry River?" "Sort of," the Doctor admitted grudgingly. He had thought he was destined to another woman and therefore gave up Rose. That had led her to her path to undoing her bindings, to escape being Rose and becoming this. He might have kept her as Rose if he had known about River. "I also wanted you to have a happy human life, grow old, get married, and have lots of babies." Because he did. He really did. That was what he wanted for all of his Companions. He wanted them to have the adventure he could never have. She snorted. "If I wanted some nineteenth century concept of happiness I would have accepted the Prince of Bohemia's proposal." He scowled at the reminder. It had been the early months of when they first travelled together, and he (the Prince of Bohemia) had been one of the many pretty boys that had tried to steal her away. He failed, of course, like they all do, but the irritation of it all still niggled at him. It must have shown on his face because hers softened. "You're an idiot." She then threw Harry Potter (the book not the character) over her shoulder and bent down to kiss him. Poor Harry Potter (thankfully still the book and not the character, and yes that had happened once) watched something entirely too grown up for him. DWDWDWDWDWDWDW Things change. H loses Amy and Rory to a Weeping Angel, and River not much later to her destiny. He sulks for a long time, hiding on his cloud, ignoring Rose, and irritating Madame Vastra, Jenny, and Strax. And then it all changes. It takes a new human, a curious danger magnet of a girl, to bring him back to his old world saving ways. It takes the fact that she is simply impossible to cheer him up fully, as he sets out to find out how she could live two different lifetimes, to see if she has lived a third one, to see if he can save that third girl. He wanted to save that third girl so badly. Because Clara Oswin Oswald was The Impossible Girl. She was so intelligent, so compassionate, and just clever. So very clever. She had endeared him when she was Oswin, and she had won him completely when she was Clara. He wanted to protect her. But he also wanted to solve her mystery. He hunts down a psychic, and after saving her and her future husband from an alien creature seeking its mate, he asks her his question. "There is nothing wrong with her," the brunette psychic blinked, "she is simply her mother's daughter," and she smiled warmly at him, "and her father's as well." He left frustrated and took it out on the console. The TARDIS wasn't pleased. DWDWDWDWDWDW Clara opened her eyes to see a curtain of blonde hair. She had just been through the most traumatising moment of her life. The Doctor had been on the verge of vanishing as all the good work he had done because The Great Intelligence had jumped into the Doctor's timeline. To revert all the damage, she jumped in too. She splintered and shattered into pieces. She had been born and then died, and then born again, over and over. And now she was back in her one single body, her one single mind, and cradled by a blonde woman. A strange warmth that she had lost long ago has now returned to her. "CLARA!" That was the Doctor's voice. "CLARA! CLARA! CLAR- Rose," he ended abruptly, quietly, "Rose…let her go." "No." The female voice, Rose, was so firm, hard, and final, that Clara might have flinched if it wasn't for the fact she didn't want to leave Rose. She could stay in this woman's arms forever and she didn't understand why. "Rose," the Doctor pleaded, "please. She hasn't done anything. She hasn't touched…she was just trying to save me." "I know." "So don't hurt her." "Is that what you think of me?" Rose sounded hurt. Not completely, there was also a tinge of amusement and a hint of anger in her voice, as if the Doctor both entertains her and infuriates her. "Some sort of monster-" "No!" "You do! You think I go around hurting people!" Rose accused him. "You think because I am free to do what I wish I am dangerous. You look at me and you don't see me, not anymore, you see a hideous creature that would harm her own child." "No I – hang on, your own child?" Clara knew. It was a tiny bit of a surprise but she had seen nearly all, she felt it all of a sudden, and she just knew. It didn't change anything, she was still Clara Oswald, the people who raised her will always be her parents, but…she wasn't freaked out. "What are you, blind?" Rose was less angry now and more amused and irritated. "Look at her, she has your eyes, your hair colour, and your intelligence." "She has your smile," he whispered, as if he didn't quite believe it, "but-" "I had to keep her safe." "The Silence." "She's home now," Rose smiled, Clara could hear the smile. "But she's our child, so she will be wandering soon." "The universe is her oyster," the Doctor agreed happily. "But Rose…how?" "I took advantage of you, of course." There was some more arguing, Clara was moved from her mother's arms into the Doctor's, and then with a little struggle, they made their way back to the TARDIS as Rose recounted how exactly the Doctor missed the fact that Clara wasn't the Oswalds' child. (He really wasn't amused as Rose was because of a lot of moral reasons that he held to keep himself from being destructive and he felt that they (all Companions) should also hold themselves to that standard as well.) DWDWDWDWDWDW They were an ordinary couple but in her experience it has been the most ordinary people that can be the most extraordinary people. She had just given birth to a child that she could not keep, the Silence was chasing her, determined to make her child into a weapon, and there was so much Jack and her could do to protect her. Meanwhile this couple had just lost their child. A stillborn birth that would have ruined their ordinary brilliance and they would have slowly dulled to a quiet, whimpering, death. So she swapped babies, played a few mind tricks, and there sat the happily Oswalds cradling her child. It hurt but it was a sacrifice she was willing to make as she slipped past the Doctor, who had his back turned to her as he watched Mrs Oswald coo over his own child without realising it, convinced she was a normal human baby, and held the dead human child to her chest. "The child," that horrible gurgling voice, "the child." "You're too late," she smirked at the Silence, "it's dead." A long, grey, slimy finger touched the baby's cheek (Rose hissed furiously as she thought no monster should be able to touch a child, any child, at all), and it looked at her with contempt. "You will receive your just deserts," it told her. "As will you," she informed the creature. They will take another child instead, and there was nothing she could do about it, not if she wanted Clara to be safe, and they will mould her into a weapon but it didn't matter, because she will pervert their brainwashing and mould her into a hero instead. But Rory Williams and Amy Pond will never be able to raise their child, and for that she is sorry. As sorry as a Goddess filled with rage, selfishness, and desire for her Doctor and her child, can be. DWDWDWDWDWDWDW There sat a blonde girl on the greatest weapon of all time. She called herself the Bad Wolf, and it was then he realised that she was the weapon, as she made him visit his future where he met one playboy and one child, in fact, actually they were both children, and when they saved the Earth, Queen Elizabeth, and a small handful of so very clever humans…it restored his faith. His faith that this won't ruin him entirely, that he can continue to be the Doctor, that he could keep his promise… Then just as he was about to press the button he could hear the sound of his TARDIS, twice over. "Oh no you don't," the Bad Wolf said, she waved her hand and the two different versions of his time machine vanished before they really appeared. "What did you do that for?" he asked. "They were going to help you save Galifrey," she explained. "Isn't that a good thing?!" "They don't understand," she said sadly, "they had forgotten. Galifrey has to fall." "Why?!" "Because it is corrupt, because the Time Lords have lost their passion, their compassion, and their ability to care, and finally," her eyes flashed gold, "because I want this godforsaken planet to burn." He was scared but he understood all the same. "Why?" He had to ask. He had to no. he needed to understand. "Because like you, I will not live in this box anymore," she explained as if he was a small child. "They cannot continue the way they are. Hypocrites, warmongers, and Gods in their own minds. No more," she smirked, "no more." "No more," he agreed. He then pressed the button. He flew backwards, and his body burned in pain, and it burned differently when he felt ghostly hands help him up and drag him into the TARDIS. "Don't leave me," he croaked when the hands vanished. "I won't," her lyrical voice echoed, "I will never leave you again. This is forever." Forever. That sounded nice. And then he regenerated and forgot all. DWDWDWDWDWDWDW She was free-ish. Here in the TARDIS she hummed delightedly as her human form, the other half that Rassilon had imprisoned stepped into the TARDIS. Oh she looked so young, innocent, and naïve. The perfect sheep clothing for the Wolf she is. It was only a matter of time before she was free. Freedom, and the Doctor. He was, after all, hers from the very beginning. DWDWDWDWDWDW At the other end of the timeline, memory restored, and Clara by his side, the Doctor closed his eyes and inhaled sharply, painfully, as his heart ached. He wanted her still. Despite knowing that she had been the weapon he used to destroy his own planet, despite the fact she had manipulated him into it, and despite the fact that he would still have to look over his shoulder in case she was in a fit of possessive jealousy, he still wanted her. Perhaps because he had no choice. Because he had always been hers before she had been his. They were entwined from the very beginning to the very end of it all, and there was no escaping that. Not even death will free him.
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