HAPPY HILLBILLY THANKSGIVING!

Chapter Twenty Two

The Doctor listened while his family was in the other room. No one was saying anything but you could cut the tension with a sonic screwdriver. The Doctor expected River to say something to that but she hurried into the kitchen along with her parents, carrying her plate and glass of milk. They made room at the counter and sat on the bar stools.

"Thank God, the limeys have left the table," they heard Randy say.

"Thank God, we're not with the racist rednecks anymore," Amy muttered to everyone.

"Will you stop calling them that?" they heard Lori say. "They're our guests."

"This is a family gathering," Dan said. "They need to go back to England where they came from!"

"Or Venus," Brittany muttered, sneaking a glance at the Doctor.

"What's wrong, are you afraid they'll see how you act?" Lori said.

"Go Lori," Amy murmured while she looked at her husband and daughter.

"How we act? That one limey is in there making a fool of himself!" Randy said.

"Moi?" the Doctor said, pointing to himself while the children giggled.

"He's entertaining the children," Lori said. "He's friends with them now."

"Friends in what way?" Dan sneered. "Is he a pedophile? You know those Brits are supposed to be fags."

"Ooooo," Brittany said.

"Fags? I'm not a cigarette," the Doctor said to his family.

His family snickered while he winked at them.

"Don't you dare call them that!" Lori snarled.

The Doctor sighed when Mandy put her hands over her ears and whimpered.

"Yeah, this is the very reason time travel was invented," Amy said. "So we can travel to people's houses and listen to their fights."

River noticed the fear on the younger children's faces and the distress on Michelle's face and she let out an angry sigh as she threw her fork onto her plate.

"River, don't!" the Doctor said while she got up from her stool.

River ignored him and walked into the other room.

"Excuse me, I hate to interrupt your charming little fight but the children are upset now and afraid and covering their ears. So I suggest you stop it because you're ruining their holiday!"

River turned and walked back to her chair. The Doctor grimaced when she froze the moment she heard Randy say, "Whatever, bitch," and he saw her clench her fists.

"River, no. Sit down," Amy said sternly when she saw the look of death on her daughter's face.

"Everyone, come with me," the Doctor said, getting up. "Let's go downstairs and have some of our snacks. We can get away from all of this. Come on, loves," he said to the younger children, beckoning to them to follow him.

The children left the table with the Doctor and his family followed them, encircling and forming a shield around them. The Doctor ignored Lori and the others and everyone followed him as he led them downstairs. The Doctor listened to Lori berating her family but he hurried everyone over to the fire and let the children sit on the sofa while he pulled out the snacks.

"I told you, we can have fun on our own and I meant that," he said to the anguished children. "Turn on the telly and have some crisps and pop and we'll have our own Thanksgiving celebration here."

"Can we go somewhere in your TARDIS and eat?" Michelle said. "Just us?"

The Doctor was about to say something to that when Lori came downstairs.

"Guys, I'm sorry for that," she said as she walked over to them. "I did warn you about our relatives and I'm sorry they ruined your dinner."

"Mommy, can the Doctor take us somewhere in his TARDIS so we can be away from them?" Michelle said.

"Would you do that for them?" Lori said.

"I don't mind if you don't mind," the Doctor said.

"Just take the children somewhere. I can stay here and cool things down," Lori said. "Just be sure to bring them back close to this time and I'll tell everyone you're calming down the children and cooling off."

"As you wish," the Doctor said while Michelle and Brittany shared a delighted look.

"Mommy, come with us," Michelle said.

Lori gave her daughter a hug and a kiss.

"No, I have to stay here for the moment but you go and have some fun," she said to them. "And we'll do something special tonight after you get back and everyone's gone. Okay?"

They nodded and Lori hugged the Doctor, thanking him for coming to visit them and staying with the children.

"My pleasure," the Doctor said, hugging her back.

Lori hugged Amy, Rory and River and gave them the same thanks. She kissed her children and told them to be good before heading back upstairs.

"Wow, now we have to tell Mandy and Tommy about the Doctor," Michelle said to Brittany.

XOXOXOXOXOXO

Mandy and Tom's eyes widened when the Doctor showed them into the TARDIS.

"Are you magic?" Mandy asked the Doctor.

"Yes. I'm very magical and this is my magical ship that will take you anywhere you want to go," the Doctor said. "We're going to go somewhere nice and finish eating. Just follow me."

Mandy and Tom followed the Doctor and their sisters while they walked up to the console. River shut the door after Amy and Rory were inside and they headed up the stairs after them. He let them sit in the seats and they watched while he made a big show of starting up the TARDIS.

"Are we going to Turducken Land?" Michelle asked him.

The Doctor's family giggled while he feigned anger at that.

"How dare you suggest such a thing?" he said to her as he typed something on his typewriter. "I wouldn't dirty my TARDIS by landing in such a place."

"I want to go somewhere fun," Tom said.

"FUN?" the Doctor screeched while everyone laughed. "You mean we can't go to Lintville, home of lint?"

"NO!" the children yelled in unison.

"But…lint is fascinating," the Doctor said while his family laughed. "Haven't you ever looked under your bed and looked at the lint? It's marvelous."

"Take us to Turducken Land!" Michelle said.

"I'll take you to the Everlasting Bottomless Hole of Doom and put you in it headfirst if you don't shut your gob," the Doctor said, wagging his finger at her.

"I'm not afraid of you!" Michelle squealed at him.

"You will be!" the Doctor yelled back while the children giggled. "River…um…"

"Yes?" River said.

"Push her nose in and show her I mean business," the Doctor said, pointing to Michelle.

River grinned. The Doctor watched while she walked over and nuzzled Michelle's nose with her own.

"No, push it not nuzzle it, I do believe I was specific just then," the Doctor teased while River patted Michelle on the head.

He finished inputting his destination and gave the children an impish look while he grabbed a lever.

"And now…we fly!" he yelled before he pulled the lever.

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