HEALING BROKEN HEARTS

A/N Healing broken hearts. Brax/Romana with some slight Narvin/Romana. Mentions of Gallifrey series 4. This is set after those events.

Beta read by Lady Catkin.

Please review.

Disclaimer If I owned Doctor I would bring both Romana and Brax into the new series.


It felt like everyone had gone and everything had changed.

Romana sat silently, tilling the ground of her memory, reliving past horrors and loses, making them real again for just a moment.

She had become close to Narvin during her time on the alternative Gallifrey and lamented the loss of all she had lost on that Gallifrey, as she glanced at Narvin, sitting next to her.

She had lost Braxiatel, the Doctor and even K9. She had once been told, probably by the Doctor, that if you remember someone then they are never truly gone. She tried hard to force their memories to the front of her mind, making them appear as lucidly and vividly as she could.

Narvin had got used to Romana's silences.

He knew she thought an awful lot, but the memories she was clearly replaying in her head were changing her face to match her inner struggle. The awful fact was that this silent reverie had lasted for a very long time.

He reached out with unsure fingers and gently touched her face, wishing he could simply magic away her pain. It was clear to all but her that her condition was worsening. She refused to eat these days, making her emaciated and drawn. He was watching his former President grow thinner and paler each day. What could he do? He couldn't reach her, nor could her staff. She had very few allies in the capital, that was a fact. Not even Leela's return could divert her away from her slow and terrible crawl towards her own demise.

Narvin was beside himself; if only she would snap out this terrible daze she seemed to be in, just for a moment. He'd even settle for her shouting at him, telling him she hated him. Just anything, some scrap from her table, just an utterance to show she hadn't completely given in to her own swirling abyss of misery.

It was almost like she was still very much grieving for Braxiatel and the Doctor. Losing the Doctor all those years ago had been hard for her, but her most recent loss of losing Braxiatel had pushed her over the edge. He knew her too well to suspect anything else. Would she ever recover? He tried taking care of her himself, mainly to give himself the satisfaction of knowing she was fine. He had been checking up on her so frequently, that there had been little point not caring for her himself.

Then, of course, came the crashing realisation that she had been causing him too many moments of longings, for a reason he loved her.

When he first came to that conclusion he had been incredibly annoyed with himself for being so selfish and sparing thoughts on his own issues rather than concentrating on hers. This in turn only went further in cementing his realisation that he was indeed, a prisoner to her and that prison was love.

Ever since he had admitted it to himself, he had redoubled his actions in caring for her. He was fiercely protective of her too, refusing to even allow close allies to even address her. He knew his behaviour was without logic, but then, he didn't feel like he was capable of operating within the realms of logic with this unrequited feelings smashing about his body, fizzing and foaming like the surf on a beach.

When they had been trapped on the alternative Gallifrey, they had indeed grown closer.

He had remembered after losing Braxiatel, how Romana had screamed and cried. The pain she felt and how she had directed it all at him. He had held her and comforted her, dealing with her nightmares when she had awoken screaming. The only word on her lips was 'Brax', uttered in horror over and over again. He had tried his best to match Braxiatel's skills to care for his former president, to advise her like Braxiatel would have done but he found himself falling in love with her instead. He frequently cursed himself, cursed her and even Braxiatel's sacrifice. He was so sure he had done that for Romana, but Romana had given up on life, nothing could console her.

They had shared a kiss days ago, something that was now keeping him from finding repose. She had been clinging to him as she suddenly grabbed him, kissing him for a moment. He had kissed her back without a second thought, before she had pulled away with a look of sorrow in her eyes, as if she regretted it.

Narvin had taken that sad look to mean that she had day-dreamed that she was with Braxiatel perhaps and she was kissing him in her mind, not Narvin.

He doubted their kiss meant anything to her, making him want to kick himself for taking advantage of his former President's emotion state. How could he have been so stupid to think she would have looked twice at him?

"Romana", he said sharply, his voice edged with frustration "you have to snap out of this!"

He gripped her shoulders forcing her to look at him but she stared straight through him as if she was already gone herself. "You have got to move on. He is gone Romana, he is not coming back".

A voice came from behind, startling him "I wouldn't be too sure about that," he spun round to see Braxiatel.

He stood there, looking intense and noble in the dappled rays of the morning sunshine that poured through the high windows.

Narvin gaped.

It couldn't be, not after all this time. Surely.

He crossed the room towards Romana, who was sitting there, tears streaming from her wide and disbelieving eyes.

He ushered Narvin out of the way with a simple, but commanding waft of his hand. Narvin obeyed immediately, his brain on auto-pilot as he tried to negotiate what had just happened.

"How have you got her in this state?" Braxiatel demanded as he sat down next to Romana.

"Romana," he said softly taking her hand and softening the look in his eyes as he took in her ashen face,

"Brax," she whispered, her brow knitted into a riddle of confusion. He pressed his lips to hers, kissing her softly, before resting his forehead against hers.

Within moments, she was kissing him with quick and urgent dabs of her lips all over his face, as if she was trying to substantiate his existence. Pulling away, he wiped all her tears from her face with his long, slender fingers.

"I saw you fall," she began to say, her voice cracking, "through the time vortex."

"I managed to escape it" he began, looking at her with a medley of joy and concern. "Took me a while though" he continued "I came back for you". He quietly looked into Romana' eyes as he summed up the state she was in.

"I'm sorry" he began, letting out a low, sad sigh and wrapping his arms around her.

She rested her head on his shoulder, her hair flopping forwards and covering her face from Narvin's view.

"Brax I need."

"Tell me," he said, as his hearts started racing in his chest, he could feel hers had been slowing down for quite some time as if his death had shattered her own hearts.

"I love you," she whispered as she nuzzled into the fabric covering his shoulder. "I should have told you a long time ago. I realised when you were falling through time and space. How stupid of me to realise then!"

She berated herself and squeezing her eyes together to try and stem the tide of pain that was threatening to come in and over throw her senses once more.

He pressed his lips against hers once more before finally uttering four words: "I love you too."

All the while, Narvin stood watching.

A million white-hot knives stabbed into his soul, let alone his hearts.

Why had Braxiatel come back? Why had his own desires been extinguished in place of someone who was meant to be dead!

Every breath for Narvin hurt and he wanted to stumble backwards against a wall in order to garner some sort of support to keep him upright. He tried to just concentrate on his breathing.

She was happy and that had to be enough for him, especially if he truly loved her, right?

But it wasn't enough; it was very, very nowhere near enough for him.

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