HELTER SKELTER
Chapter Forty One While Paul and Jane were trying on their outfits, another flash appeared and Paul laughed when he saw what it was. "Oh, thanks TARDIS, much appreciated," he said, picking the gift up off the bed. "And now that you mentioned it, this sodding mustache is going! I'll be right back. Shave time!" Jane laughed as he ran into the adjoining bathroom. Meanwhile, the Doctor picked up everyone from the planet Sunbirst where a human colony had settled three hundred years earlier. "So, how is everyone? Adjusting?" he asked them as they came inside the TARDIS. "Yeah, it's actually nice here," Ringo said as he and his family came inside. "No pollution. Air's completely clean. Don't know how they do it but it's wonderful." "And the neighborhood is nice as well," George said, letting Patti come inside. "I'm glad you suggested this. I actually like this place better than London." "How are Paul and Jane and Bill?" Jim asked as he, Richard and Margaret came inside with Cynthia and Julian. "They're all fine. Bill and John had their surgeries and they no longer need glasses," the Doctor said to them as he closed the doors. "We're going to Hirgira, it's an ice planet so the inhabitants live underground. However, they have a thriving business holding weddings because the ice caves are picturesque so Paul and Jane decided to go there." "Ice planet?" Margaret said in alarm, "But…won't we freeze?" "No, the underground part is heated. It's only on the surface that it's cold enough to kill but I'll be landing the TARDIS inside so we'll never be out there." "Dad?" Everyone turned and sucked in their breath when they saw Paul dressed in his morning suit. What was even more surprising was his mustache had been shaved off and his mop top was back. "What? You mean you found a way to grow your hair back?" John said. "No, this is a hairpiece. The TARDIS gave it to me along with the morning suit and Jane's wedding dress and our wedding rings. It was her gift to us." "Thanks, girl," the Doctor said to his ship as she rumbled in reply and nudged his mind. "So…where's Jane then?" George asked. "She's not coming out yet. She wants it to be a surprise. It's a gorgeous dress and it makes her look gorgeous, you'll love it." "So, it's finally happened," John said. "You're the last Bachelor Beatle and now you'll be Bachelor Beatle no more." "Yeah, yeah, but it's time," Paul said. "I'm ready to move on and be a husband." He grinned when Jim patted his shoulder. "So, are you ready to go get married then?" the Doctor asked him. "Yeah, what the hell, let's go get married now!" Paul said as everyone cheered. "Just let me go get the soon to be misses and let her know you're heading there." He turned and left the room while the Doctor punched in the coordinates for Hirgira. While he was doing that, Paul hurried back to his room. He came inside and stood in the doorway, admiring his bride while she stared at herself in a full length mirror. Martha, who had been exploring the TARDIS was in the room with them and Paul grinned as she came over and he patted her head while he continued to gaze on his lover. The fabric shimmered in the light and Paul's breath caught in his throat. Love filled his heart and he laid his top hat down on the bureau while he shut the door and went towards her. Jane looked at him and smiled at the tender look in his eyes. "He's going, love," Paul said softly, "He's flying to the planet now. Are you ready?" "If you are," Jane said. "I was just trying on the dress and the veil. The veil looks like it's solid but you can see through it somehow but you won't see my face until you lift it, I s'pose." Paul smiled at that and stroked her cheek. "Then I s'pose I better see your face now before that happens," he murmured. He kissed her lips and her nose. Jane looked into his dark brown eyes and felt herself falling in love with him all over again as he gazed at her adoringly. "Are you afraid?" he finally asked. "Afraid of what?" Jane said, confused. "Marrying. Becoming man and wife, does that scare you?" "No. Why? Does it scare you?" "A bit. It feels odd leaving behind my bachelor days but…" Paul said, stroking the back of her neck, "I know I'm making the right choice. There's no one else I'd want to spend my life with." "I feel the same way," Jane said, coming close to him and fingering the lapel of his morning suit. "You look so handsome in this. Course, you look so handsome in anything you wear." "And are you ready to brave the Diablons with me? Risk getting barbecued again?" "Only if you're beside me," Jane replied. Paul gave her a big toothy grin and kissed her lips. "Come, my love, it's time," Paul whispered to her. "Throw the blanket over your head and I'll lead you out." "No, I think I'll change and change back when we get there," Jane said. "Bugger, I was hoping to lead you into the wall, furniture, out the front door into outer space." He giggled when Jane swatted his chest. He gave her another kiss and sat down on the bed to wait while she changed back into the street clothes. By the time they got up to the front, the Doctor had landed and was waiting for them. Everyone groaned when they saw Jane walk through the back door carrying the box containing her outfit. "Sorry, everyone, told ya that you weren't gonna see her till it was time," Paul said with a shrug. "This had better be worth the wait," John said as everyone filed out. Much to their surprise, the inner world of Hirgira was warm even thought the walls were made of ice. No one had any need of coats or winter gear and they were amazed that the walls managed to stay frozen even though it was quite warm. They all stopped when a short alien rounded a corner and came into the chamber. He was pure white with a large, bulbous head and narrow, Asiatic looking eyes that were pure black. The man was naked except for a small white loincloth covering his private parts. He looked at everyone. "Where are the man and woman about to be married?" he asked. The Doctor came forward with Paul and Jane. "This is them, I'm the one that rang you and made the arrangements," he said. "Very well, I'm Alcus, I'm the assistant to the chanter, Zithira. She'll be performing the ceremony. If you'll follow me…" "Paulie's getting married by an albino, dwarf alien? Bollocks, I'm jealous!" George said to John and Ringo as they snickered. They followed Alcus into a larger antechamber. They noticed that the seats seemed to be made out of long slabs of ice that had long white cushions over the top of them. There were five rows with an aisle between them and in front was an ice dais that shimmered in the torchlight. The torches were affixed to the walls and were spread out all over the circular room. The walls were made of ice and caught the light of the torches, making the room brighter than it would have been otherwise. Alcus instructed everyone to sit on the cushions except for Paul and Jane. He led them towards the dais while he gave them instructions in a hushed voice. Meanwhile, two more white aliens came into the room, bringing two large white cushions that they laid beside each other on the dais. Then they went back out and came back in carrying two goblets made of ice. In the goblet, Paul and Jane noticed there was a red liquid that sloshed around in the goblet while the aliens walked. They sat the goblets down next to the pillows and went out again while Alcus continued to instruct the couple on what to do. By this time both Julian and Zak were fidgeting and wanting to get up and explore and John and Ringo had to make them sit still while the alien attendants came back in carrying a small ice platter filled with two large wafers and a book that was bound in black leather. They laid the platter down by the goblets and one of them left while the other held the bible and waited for the ceremony to begin. As Alcus was finishing up, Jane told him about the dress and Alcus escorted out of the room to a changing area while Paul knelt down on the left cushion and waited. While he waited, a female alien entered the room. She looked the same as Alcus, except she wore a long flowing gown and had a necklace of ice crystals around her neck. The woman introduced herself to Paul as Zithira and Paul shook her hand before she took the book from the attendant who went to the side of the dais and waited patiently. Then, five minutes after Paul settled down on the cushion, Alcus came back in. Everyone turned to look and gasped when they saw Jane in her wedding gown, shoes and veil. Paul saw that Jane was right about the veil not being see-through. The shimmery fabric covered her head and shoulders like a shroud but she was able to see since she was walking unaided towards her lover. Paul smiled tenderly while she walked up onto the dais and knelt on the cushion beside his, facing him. Zithira came up beside them and opened her book. She chanted in an alien language for a moment, her eyes lifted skyward while everyone listened. Then she began to speak in English, instructing Paul to take his bride's hand. "Pa," she said in a heavy alien accent that prevented her from saying his name properly, "you have come here today with a free mind and heart. Do you take Janu as your life mate, never betraying her and loving her until you or she must depart your fleshly bodies?" "I do," Paul said while Jane squeezed his hand. "Janu, you have come here today with a free mind and heart. Do you take Pa as your life mate, never betraying him and loving him until you or he must depart your fleshly bodies?" "I do," Jane said while Paul beamed from ear to ear. Zithira came over to Paul. Holding the book in one hand, she placed her left hand over his head and chanted in the alien language while Paul listened. She then reached down and gave him a wafer. Paul took it, put it in his mouth and accepted one of the goblets from her hand. He drank it and licked his lips when he tasted the sweetness and fruitiness of the drink. Then Zithira repeated the ritual with Jane, holding her hand over Jane's head while she chanted, then giving her the wafer and goblet. Then she took Paul's goblet, dipped her slender finger in the liquid and put a dot of liquid on his forehead between his eyes and on both cheeks while she said another chant. She turned to do it to Jane and everyone laughed when she stared at the veil in confusion. "Damn!" Jane said, flipping the veil up while everyone laughed harder and Paul winked at her. Zithira repeated the ritual, blessing her with the liquid while Paul gazed on her face and felt his heart flutter. Then Zithira stepped back, said one more chant and closed the book. She gave it back to the attendant. "These two are now husband and wife, life mates forever. May the gods bless their sacred union and may nothing tear them apart," Zithira said in English. Paul frowned when she turned and she and the attendant walked away. "Um…I s'pose we'll just have to put the rings on then," Paul said while everyone laughed. He reached into his jacket pocket, took the box out and they took turns putting the rings on each other's fingers before they finished up with a passionate kiss while everyone cheered. After the ceremony, they thanked everyone and got back into the TARDIS. Martha was there to greet them and Paul had to grab her collar to keep Martha from getting her dress dirty or ripping it. She hurried away with Paul while John took Martha's collar. Once they were done changing back into their street clothes, they met the others in the kitchen for a reception. The TARDIS had prepared several things and everyone stood around, chatting and eating, both in the kitchen and then into the living room where the couple rested on the sofa with Martha while the others sat in chairs or on the floor. They gave the couple gifts, mainly money but Margaret gave Jane an antique silver ring that had belonged to her grandmother which she slipped on the ring finger of her right hand. After eating, talking and celebrating half the night, everyone decided to go back home and the Doctor went to the console room while Paul, Jane and William bid everyone goodbye. Jim hugged Paul tightly. "I'm proud of ya, son," he said. "It was a beautiful ceremony even if it was a bit strange getting married in the middle of an icebox." Paul chuckled at that. "Yeah, they were a bit confused about the clothes and the rings but we made the best of it." "Be careful, Paul. Watch over her and Bill and take care of yourself while you travel with the Doctor." "I will, dad," Paul said. Jim hugged him and Paul returned the hug. He chuckled while he listened to Margaret and Richard imploring Jane to be careful and look after herself, Paul and Bill. When he was done hugging his father, the other Beatles came forward. One at a time, they all hugged him. "So, it's official now, you're one of us," John said. "Yeah, now you have to suffer being married like the rest of us," Ringo said. "And sometime you'll have to have children," George added. "Not right now," Paul said. "Yes, not right now while he's busy chasing demon aliens around Earth," John said. "And you're not going to?" Paul said. "I will, eventually. Cyn isn't too keen on being chased by the Diablons and she wants me to be with her and Julian awhile. But eventually, if you haven't killed them all, we'll all jump back in the fray with ya." "I'm holding you to that," Paul said, jabbing his finger in his face. "And you look after my dad, I don't wanna find you've lost em!" "Oho, so now we're quoting from Hard Day's Night, are we?" John said with a sniff while George and Ringo giggled. "Very well, I will return the witty bon mot and say…he's very clean, isn't he?" Paul laughed and accepted three more hugs from his friends before they moved on to Bill and Jane and told them goodbye. (Two days later…) Paul held Jane's hand while they walked towards the console room. Martha trotted along beside Paul and he gave Martha's fur a quick tousle as the dog panted and followed her master obediently. As they entered the console room, they waved to Bill, Amy and Rory who were sitting on the edge of the console platform with their legs dangling over the edge. The Doctor was at his monitor and he smiled at them. "Did you enjoy your honeymoon?" he asked them. "Yes, we did. We had a very relaxing two days," Paul said as he and Jane climbed the steps towards him. "So, are you ready to have another go at the Illuminati?" the Doctor said. "I am," Paul said. "And so am I," Jane said. "Why have you found something?" "Yes, I examined the data taken from the Hades and I believe I have a destination in mind," the Doctor said, beaming as Martha came up to him and he patted her head. "You see, I got their archives in addition to their data banks and I read some of their history." He walked over to his chair and sat down while Paul and Jane waited for him to continue. "Do you remember the Yellow Submarine film?" the Doctor asked him. "Yes," Paul said while Jane nodded. "I've already told them this so they know," the Doctor said, gesturing to Bill, Amy and Rory. "But it seems that that animated film wasn't entirely fanciful. You see, according to the archives, there was an unearthly paradise called Pepperland where humans coexisted with the Andrakians, a peaceful alien race that did a bit of gene splicing and managed to evolve the human race from Neanderthals to your current form. They used some of their genes to give you your slender humanoid form because that's what they looked like. But according to the archives, the Diablons managed to find a way into Pepperland and killed the Andrakians and enslaved the humans there and that was the beginning of it. In essence, the Diablons are the Blue Meanies of the film. They took the humans and bred them. Over the years, some did escape and bred in the wild so to speak and that's how your species flourished. According to the archives, Pepperland exists in another dimension and the way to it is a gate that looks much like the men with the arching hats. This gateway consisted of six metal poles made of an alien material that were carved to look like men. Once activated, the tops of the poles would go up and arch and once they were connected, the dimensional gateway was activated and you could pass through to Pepperland. I have an approximate date in mind but if we go, our job is to find this gateway and save Pepperland from the attack of the Blue Meanies. Up for it?" Paul and Jane glanced at each other and grinned. "Let's do it!" Paul said. "Let's go save Pepperland from the Illuminati." "Hold on then while I fly our Yellow Submarine to it's destination," the Doctor said, going to the monitor. THE END. A/N: The saga will continue in the next story, It Was 20,000 Years Ago Today.
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