HOW I MET YOUR FATHER
Kids I'm going to skip the summer here. Not because nothing interested had happened, I was dating your Uncle Jack at the time and boy he made every day an adventure….where was I? Oh yes, the summer, I won't tell you anything because I think you would lose all respect for your Uncle Rory. Jack snuck out of Rose's bedroom in order to get a glass of water. He was wearing absolutely nothing but Rose's pink fluffy dressing gown, and therefore didn't want to get caught by Rory…actually no, that didn't bother him at all, he just didn't want to wake anyone up. He was successful until he turned the kitchen light on and screamed. Someone else screamed as well. "What?!" Rose ran out with a tennis racquet in her hands. "What is it? What happened? What- Rory? Is that you?!" There huddled in the corner of the kitchen, wearing nothing but his underwear, with an overgrown beard, greasy hair, and tearstained face, was Rory. Cuddling a pot of Ben and Jerry's ice cream. "Yes," he whimpered pathetically, "don't mind me, I'm fine." "You're not," Rose observed worriedly, "Why don't you get dressed, any clothes will do, and I'll make you a cuppa." "No…no," Rory shook his head helplessly, "you go back to bed, have lots of loud and fantastic sex that I could totally hear from the other side of the flat, never mind the fact that we don't share a wall between our bedrooms, and I enjoy this beautiful tasting ice cream." "Well you heard the guy," Jack said cheerfully. He tried to take Rose's hand and drag her out of the kitchen before it got even weirder. "I really don't want to leave Rory alone," Rose shrugged him off. "No, it's all right," Rory said lifelessly, "I'm not alone, I have my new best friends, Ben and Jerry, they fulfil me…" "Lots of sex it is, then!" Rose declared in false cheer as she dragged Jack out of the kitchen. He never did get his glass of water. So we will skip to the autumn where your Uncle Rory first said, "I'm ready to start dating again," Rory declared to his friends, "I think…" "Excellent!" River rubbed her hands together in a parody of Mr Burns. "You and I can go on the pull together, we could do the brother/sister routine, you find me blokes I can have fun with, and I will find you girls that you can heartlessly abandon after one night of passionate love making." "Why is it fun when you do it but if I do it it's heartless?" Rory asked dumbfounded. "Double standards of society," River shrugged uncaringly. "Are you sure, you're ready?" Rose asked as she shrugged on her jacket. "It was only just yesterday you broke down when you found one of Amy's old socks." "I have to do this," Rory said firmly, "if I don't then I never will…and then what? I spend the rest of my life moping?" "It worked for Bella Swan." "Definitely ready to move on with my life!" "Just be careful…" Rose mumbled as she hunted down her handbag. For reasons unknown to anyone it was stuffed between sofa cushions. "River makes you do really odd things." "Don't you have work, sweetie?" River asked sweetly. "Don't you have classes?" Rose shot back. "PhD student," River shrugged, "I have like one class a week." "It'll be fine," Rory said dismissively. "If you say so," Rose smirked as River pulled out a razor from her back pocket. "I'll see you later." She managed to close the door in time as Rory shrieked like a girl. DWDWDWDWDW Jack was taking a much needed coffee break. Technically that meant he only had ten minutes to dash off to the kitchens and make a quick cuppa but he was quite high up and could easily get away with a stroll to the nearest Starbucks and enjoy a proper coffee. Unfortunately it was far too busy and he could barely move in the bustling shop. He was quick to snatch his order when he had been served and run off but as fate would have it, he turned round only to crash into a redheaded girl. "Oh I'm sor – Amy?" Jack cried out disbelievingly interrupting his own apology. "Hi Jack," Amy mumbled. "Good summer?" "Yeah, not too bad - when the hell did you get back?" "Last week," Amy shrugged, "I've been crashing on a friend's sofa while I look for a job and a place to live." "You could have asked one of us!" Jack snapped indignantly. "No I couldn't," Amy countered back, "you're all Rory's friends." "And?" Jack sneered. "We're your friends too!" "I didn't want Rory to know I was back just yet," Amy sighed, "not until I sorted myself out." Jack softened at that. "Oh sweetheart," he murmured, "you know he wouldn't let you wander the streets if you turned up on his front door." "I wouldn't do that to him, not after how I broke his heart," Amy said stubbornly, "besides I'm not exactly wandering the streets, am I?" "So what were you doing before I bumped into you?" "Erm," Amy flushed a terrible pink that clashed with her hair, "putting my CV in at every shop I encountered as I wandered the streets." Jack gave her a pointed look that made her blush even more. "Oh shut up!" she grumbled. "Here," Jack shoved a hand in his pockets and fumbled for his keys before he held them out to Amy. "I have a spare bedroom. Stay there till you find somewhere else." "Jack-" "I insist," He interrupted firmly, "and give me one of those CVs." "Why?" "I'm sure I can recommend you for something in Torchwood," Jack shrugged. Amy handed one over without a second thought and Jack was pleased to see she had added administrative experience from her previous job and some work experience on it. It made things so much easier. "Why are you doing this?" Amy asked bewildered. "Because I'm your friend," Jack said exasperated. "And as your friend, I expect you let me buy you a coffee and tell me all about your summer." For the first time since they bumped into each other Amy smiled. they then settled into a cosy sofa with their drinks, and Amy went on to recounting her summer with the theatre company, how she had received good reviews wherever they went, how she met new and interesting people, and how every day had been an adventure it sounded brilliant. It was also incredibly distracting as it took Jack two hours to get back to work….not that anyone cared. Rose, however, cared very much, but not in the way Jack expected her to. "You're letting her stay at yours!" she hissed furiously down the phone to him. "Yes!" Jack snapped. "Do you have a problem with that?" "Only that she should have come to us first," Rose shot back, "she should face us like the woman she claims to be. Not sulk about London." "She's not sulking," Jack protested, "in fact she's very happy." "She's happy?!" "She is your friend you know," Jack reminded her, "you should be happy that she's happy." "I know," Rose mumbled, "it's just I think about how Rory's been this last summer and I just think…well she should be just as miserable." "I know," Jack murmured reassuringly. "I know." It was then he invited Rose over to have dinner with him and Amy. He had a feeling the pair of them needed each other; even if it was just to talk. DWDWDWDWDW River was enjoying every second of this. Completely slutted up, in short, skimpy clothes, and decent make up, with Rory looking…well like Rory again in his best jeans and shirt, she was ready to paint London Town crimson red. Rory had a panicked look on his face that suggested that he would like to run back to his flat and hide under the bed. This only made River more determined to enjoy herself as she grabbed hold of her friend by the elbow and dragged him to the bar. She was pleased to see that after a couple drinks he loosened up a bit and was now openly staring at a pretty brunette. Oh, the game was on! Without hesitation she tapped the girl on the shoulder. "Hi," she said cheerfully before she yanked Rory in view. "Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaave you met Rory?" "No," the brunette smiled, "hello Rory." "Erm," Rory flushed, "hi." River left the two to flirt as she eyed the talent in the bar. Unfortunately there was nothing good enough for her right now. Just the usual bunch of losers trying to get a girl. Sigh, it was true what they say all the god ones were either taken or gay. It was then her phone beeped with a text, a quick peek told her it was from Rose, and at first she was reluctant to read it because obviously Rose was going be all boring and couple-y, but the moment she spotted Amy's name in a skim read, she got interested very quickly. It was when Rory looked like was about to get this girl's number that she intervened. "Hey Ror," she called out loudly, "your Dad just phoned he wanted to remind you not to do anything till the rash is gone." Rory looked absolutely mortified as the brunette quickly backed off. With everyone else sniggering and Rory getting more and more upset with River, she decided it was time to go elsewhere. "Why did you do that?!" Rory hissed as she dragged him out of the bar. "I was right in with that girl!" "Sweetie, trust me," River said, "You don't want any from the likes of her." What she really meant was that he belonged only to Amy but she couldn't say that out loud. For starters it would ruin her reputation. They hit a regular pub next which was boring and filled with people far too old for River to shag, and therefore perfectly safe for Rory to have a drink without ending up with some tart. Unfortunately having only known Rory with Amy it had never occurred to River that he might actually have game. It seemed the moment she went to a bathroom a Hen Party of gorgeous girls descended on the pub, and a lovely, shy looking, redhead had just approached Rory. "Hi," Rory said shyly. "Hi," the girl smiled back just as shy. It was then River moved into action as she suddenly stepped between the two of them, her back turned to the girl, as she loudly whined to the whole room to hear. "Rory, tell your girlfriend to stop bothering me." The girl vanished quite quickly then. Rory's scowl unfortunately did not, and River had to placate him with lies about how she knew the girl from Uni and she was a diseased slut. Absolutely horrible but necessary. They ended up in a gay nightclub because seriously it was like every bar and pub in London had girls that wanted a piece of Rory in it. At least in a gay nightclub will result in Rory just feeling mildly uncomfortable and with a desire to go home once his tolerance with River dies a tragic and brutal death. Unfortunately River had forgotten that these days there were plenty of straight girls haunting gay nightclubs because it was a safe haven from horny, handsy, blokes. With Rory being the absolute sweetheart he naturally was, he was like a pop star to these girls and they were certainly pawing him like he was one. Rory ended up dancing with a very nice looking girl when River tripped over nothing, on purpose, and spilt her drink down the girl's back. She shrieked, slapped River (totally worth it though), and stomped off sulkily. Rory looked frustrated and furious with River and she could barely open her mouth, he grabbed hold of her and dragged her out of the night club. "Rory!" she snapped. "What's your problem?" "You keep ruining my chances to pull!" he shouted at her. "I am not!" she replied hotly. "Rory Arthur Williams, how dare you accuse me of such a thing, as if I would besmirch the sanctuary of single-ness!" Rory gave her a pointed look, a very fatherly, no-nonsense, pointed look, and she is ashamed to say that she totally caved in at that. "Yeah, okay," she admitted, "I was ruining your chances of pulling." "Why?!" "Because….because…well, Amy's back." "What?" Rory suddenly turned very quiet and River now found it a bit of a struggle to read his facial expression. "When? How? What?" he babbled quietly to himself. "Rose told me," River shrugged, "Jack bumped into her." "And none of them bothered to tell me?!" River didn't get to answer him. He stormed off and wouldn't slow down when she called out for him. She had a terrible feeling she had just put her foot in it. DWDWDWDWDWDW Rose joined Jack in the kitchen to do the dishes. She had just endured two hours of Amy telling her how brilliant the different cities of England, Wales, and Scotland were as well as each and every interesting person she had met on her tour. Anyone with half the resentment, anger, and irritation Rose had boiling within her would have snapped but she didn't. Because she knew something that Jack was completely oblivious to. "See," Jack grinned, "she's happy." "She's not happy," Rose said smugly. "Err…yes she is." "Nope," Rose popped the p happily. "She's fucking miserable." "What makes you so certain that she is?" Jack demanded to know. "I'm her best friend," Rose rolled her eyes, "have been for ten years, I know when she's lying, and guess what? She's lying. She's been just as miserable as Rory. "But you heard her! She had the best of time." "She's lying," Rose said flatly. "You don't know that!" Jack argued. "I so do!" Rose snapped. "I just told you that I know her better than anyone, well apart from Rory, and let me tell you she's miserable." "Prove it," Jack dared her. "Do you have a bottle of whiskey?" Rose asked off handily. Jack, rather startled at the sudden change of topic, merely nodded in reply. "Get that stuff in her and she'll spill everything." "All right then," Jack said, "I will, and then we'll see that you're wrong." "Oh sweetie, oh honey," Rose grinned, "Don't you know that it's always the woman in the relationship that's right?" With a bottle of whiskey in his hand, and a disarming grin, Jack returned to the living room. "Let's have a drink!" he shouted brightly. Amy pulled a face and shifted uncomfortably on the sofa. "No thank you," she mumbled. "Are you sure?" Rose asked appearing behind Jack. "Nothing like a good whiskey to end the day." "Not for me," Amy shook her head. "Really?" Rose pressed. "That's unlike you. Usually you have to be sick or near death to refuse a whiskey. Whatever happened to your Scottish pride?" Amy started to sob, and at first Rose was worried that she had pushed too hard, but then Amy blurted out, "I can't have a drink because I'm pregnant!" "What?!" This wasn't what Rose expected. This was so not what she had expected at all. "Is it…," she trailed off and bit her lip unable to ask the question. "It is Rory's," Amy choked out between sobs, "I found out a month after I left and then….Oh God Rose it was horrible! I couldn't do it at all! All I thought about day in and day out was Rory, how much I missed him, how much I needed him, and how much he must hate me! And then I couldn't stop crying, fuck I was uncontrollable, and I don't know if it was because I was pregnant or because I'm just so fucking miserable, but my acting was terrible, we had one awful review after another, and no one applauded us, and soon enough I was let go, not because of the acting but because I couldn't get along with anyone." "But at least you saw some great sights," Jack tried comfortingly. "Who cares about mouldy old buildings when I have no job, no home, and no father for my baby?!" Amy shrieked. "I ruined everything and now my baby is going to pay for it!" "Enough of that!" Rose scolded, she swatted Amy's hand lightly but hard enough to sting. "You have not ruined everything. Do you think so lowly of Rory? As if he won't want to be a father to his and your baby! And then the job? Don't worry, Jack has put in a good word, and I will too, you can have a good office job until you really sort yourself out, and as for a home…just come home, Amy," Rose pleaded. "Come home." "I can't!" Amy wailed. "Well you're more than welcome to stay here for as long as you like," Jack said reassuringly, "now come here and let us look after you." Amy rested her head on Rose's shoulder and allowed Jack to wrap his arm round her as she released every terrible feeling she had since she broke up with Rory. DWDWDWDWDWDW Rose managed to convince Amy to come home with her. It wasn't a permanent thing, it wasn't even a temporary stay for the night, or anything like that, it was just a quick visit so she could talk with Rory. She was absolutely petrified of the idea. Rory rarely got angry, he was so sweet and patient, but every so often he did and he could be….irrational. She didn't want him to be mad at her. She wanted him to love her like she loved him. They only just made it outside Galifrey's when Rory appeared looking absolutely furious; his cheeks red, his chest heaving, and a stormy look in his eyes made both Rose and Amy swallow. "I'll…just go in and make some tea," Rose said quickly before she abandoned Amy to her fate. You know, like any good friend. "Hi," Amy managed to get out awkwardly. "Hi," Rory replied shortly. There was an awkwardly, painful, long silence until he dived in. "So when were you going to tell me you were back?" He demanded to know. "Or was I supposed to just guess?" he added sarcastically. "I…just wanted to sort myself out first," Amy mumbled shamefully. "You could have sorted yourself out here," Rory snarled, "I wouldn't have minded sleeping on the sofa," he added much more softly. Amy cringed at that. That was what she had been afraid of, Rory not wanting to go back to way things were. "I'm pregnant" she blurted out before she lost her courage. "I'm about four and a half months gone," she added quickly, "I don't know much. I haven't really been able to go to the doctors and I've been scared, and stupid, and sad, and really, really, really stupid. Did I mention that I've been stupid?" Rory's lips twitched at that but he couldn't muster a smile. "Is it mine?" he asked. "Of course it is!" Amy shrilled. "How can you ask that?" "I thought part of the reason you didn't want to marry me was because there was someone else," Rory admitted guiltily, "I've had the most horrid nightmares of you with another man." "It's always been you, stupid face," Amy said softly, new tears were running down her face. Fuck she had hoped she would stop crying by now. She cried far too much for it to be good for her. "No one else," she promised. "I just needed time to soul search, find myself, and…I know I made a mistake. That I should have never broken up with you. Can we get back together, Rory?" Amy pleaded tearfully. "Please? I miss you so much." "Amy, when you left me I had the worst summer of my life," Rory confessed, "I thought I would never be happy again, that I would even want to live without you, but then today I was ready to set out and move on." Amy shook her head. She had a feeling she knew where this was heading and she did not like it. "You broke my heart, and I resented you for it, but you were right…" "No," she interrupted frantically, "Rory, please-" "You needed to do some soul searching," Rory spoke even louder, "find out who you were, and explore new options." "No, please no," Amy continued to beg. "Well so do I," Rory declared, "I need to find myself away from you. It doesn't mean I don't want to know about the baby," he reassured her, "I want to be part of its life…but I can't be part of your life. Not right now." And with that he brutally walked away from her. DWDWDWDWDWDW Rory found Rose sitting on the sofa waiting for him when he came home. All it took was one look and they both knew that the other knew. They had always been good at silent communication….it was just verbal communication that they sucked at. "I don't really want to talk to you right now." "Rory-" "You lied Rose." "I did not!" Rose snapped. "I only found out that she was back this morning." "And you didn't tell me!" Rory yelled. "I only found out because River slipped. You told River but not me. When were you going to tell me?" "I hoped Amy would tell you," Rose said weakly, "I was encouraging her to do so this very night." "Oh that's just brilliant," Rory said sarcastically, "because we all know Amy is good at telling me anything." "That's not fair!" Rose cried out. "She's always told you everything." "Apart from the fact that she didn't want to marry me." "But she does!" "Well it's too late!" he hesitated at the bedroom door and turned round to face Rose. "Did you know about the baby?" he asked quietly. "Found out a couple hours ago," Rose murmured, "if she had it her way I don't think any of us would have known till ti was too late." "She needs friends," he said softly. "So do you." "Not right now. Not friends likes you." With that he threw open his bedroom door and slammed it soundly in Rose's face just as she ran after him. She wanted to shout at him for being an idiot, throw a tantrum, or maybe just chuck something at his door, because what he said was unnecessarily cruel, but instead she took a calming breath and went to bed, swearing she will have words with him in the morning. But it was too late. Because he was gone the next morning.
Back Home Doctor Who Main Page Next