Chapter One

"Mickey. Mickey!"

Mickey grunted awake when he heard Jack calling his name. He raised his head and gave him a sleepy look.

"Yeah?" he mumbled.

"Hurry up and get out of bed. Don't talk, just come with me. I have an idea for a practical joke we can play on Rose," he said to Mickey.


Rose sat on the toilet, thumbing through an issue of Cosmo while she finished peeing. She was looking at some sexy lingerie that the article guaranteed would drive men wild when she heard a furious knocking on the closed wooden door. She looked to her left at the bathroom door when someone kept pounding on it and jiggling the doorknob, trying to open the locked door.

"Damn it, I want in now! I need to pee!" Jack yelled through the door.

"Jack, I'm on the toilet, you'll have to wait!" Rose yelled back.

"Wait? I can't wait, I need the loo now!" Jack moaned.

"Sorry, I'm still on the toilet. It'll take a minute," Rose said before turning her attention back to the article.

She sighed when Jack continued to pound and yell, "LOOOOOO!" at the top of his lungs.

"Bloody Hell, Jack, stop it!" Rose yelled.

"Come on, Rose, he really needs to use the loo," Mickey said.

"Yeah, I gotta pee badly!" Jack said dramatically.

"Stop it!" Rose yelled when both men pounded on the door and yelled, "LOOOO!" before laughing hysterically.

"Yeah, that's really funny that is," Rose muttered as she went back to her article.

"You're being so cruel, Rose. Why you be so mean to me?" Jack said before pounding again.

"The man needs to go to the toilet, Rose!" Mickey added. "How can you be so heartless, huh?"

"Fuck off!" Rose yelled while both men giggled like crazy.

She sighed when both men pounded on the door and yelled, "LOOOOO!" Then she smirked when she suddenly heard the ninth Doctor angrily asking them what they were doing.

"We need to use the loo and Rose is being stingy," Jack said.

"I'm using the toilet right now, Doctor, but they're banging on the door and screaming at me to get out," Rose yelled. "Tell them to piss off before I rip the toilet out of the floor and beat them with it!"

There was silence but Rose could hear the men's low voices while they talked outside the door. She watched the door, wondering what was going on and she narrowed her eyes when she heard the men snickering. Then suddenly the pounding started again.

"Rose!" Nine said, pounding on the door while Jack and Mickey laughed. "Rose, ya gotta let me in. I need the loo, it's an emergency!"

"Will you leave me alone?" Rose said while the men laughed.

"Okay," Jack said, "123!"

Rose threw up her hands when the three men screamed, "LOOOOO!" before erupting into another fit of giggles.

"I wish sometimes I wasn't the adult on this ship," Rose muttered as the three men continued to howl with laughter just outside the door.

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