Chapter Three

Rory was sitting on the sofa in the TARDIS living room, reading a book when the Eleventh Doctor walked in.

"Rory! Just the man I wanted to see!" he said, walking over to him.

"Is something wrong?" Rory asked, setting the book aside.

"No, no, no, just time to let you in on a tradition that goes back two versions of me. Interested?"

"What do I have to do?" Rory said, getting up from the sofa.

"Nothing much, just bring your sense of humor and a bit of creativity. Just follow me and I'll explain," he said, putting an arm around Rory.


Amy groaned as she sat on the toilet. She was in her fifth month of pregnancy and she felt like she had to pee nonstop. She relaxed and sighed as her bladder emptied. Then she let out a startled yell when someone started pounding on the door.

"I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE, POND!" the Doctor yelled as he pounded.

"What? I'm on the toilet!" Amy said. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing much, just gotta go to the loo," the Doctor said.

"Yeah, he has to go badly," Rory said.

"Okay, so what am I s'posed to do about it?" Amy said.

She gasped when both men pounded on the door, screaming "LOOOOO!" at the top of their lungs.

"Bloody Hell, I'll be out in a minute!" Amy yelled.

"But if I wait a millisecond more my bowels will erupt and I'll be soiled and wet," the Doctor said.

"Well, be soiled and wet then," Amy said. "I'm pregnant and I need to go right now."

"That's not being a good companion, Amy," the Doctor said. "That's being belligerent and rude."

"Sorry, need it more than you do," Amy said.

She sighed when both men pounded and screamed, "LOOOOOO!"

"I DON'T CAAAAAAAARE!" Amy screamed back. "Wet yourself and see if I come out!"

"Amy, if you don't let him use the loo, I will divorce you!"

Amy stared at the door while the two men snickered.

"You don't wanna go through a messy divorce because of me and my bladder, do ya, Pond?" the Doctor said.

"Right, like you'd divorce me over this," Amy said.

"Oh, I would. I'm definitely the companion who kisses the Doctor's arse around here and whatever the Doctor wants, he gets," Rory said.

"Sorry, there are other toilets in this ship, I've seen them," Amy said airily.

"But this is the first toilet the TARDIS ever had, it has sentimental value to me," the Doctor said while Rory giggled. "Besides, the seat has my arse groove in it and I need the arse groove so I can be comfy while I go to the loo!"

"LOOOOOOOO!" both men yelled as they pounded on the door.

"Damn it, I'm pregnant and hormonal and you don't want me angry at you just now!" Amy yelled at them.

"Oooooh, no, I soiled myself," the Doctor moaned.

"He soiled himself, Amy!" Rory said. "It smells and his trousers are brown and it's your fault."

"Oh well!" Amy said airily.

"Hey! I have an idea! I'll sonic the lock!" Amy heard the Doctor say.

"You do and you'll have to sonic my fist in your face next!" Amy yelled. "Don't you dare come in here while I'm on the toilet!"

"Oh come on, it's not the first time I saw a companion on the bog!" the Doctor said. "I need to wash out my smalls now so open up!"

"Right!" Amy muttered as she finished up. "You asked for it!"

She quickly wiped herself, flushed the toilet, pulled up her pants and trousers, washed her hands and flung open the door.

"I went poopies," the Doctor said, pointing to the back of his trousers.

Amy tried to be mad at them but the impish look on the Doctor's face made her smile and she chuckled when the Doctor tousled her hair affectionately.

"Sorry, this is sort of a tradition now," the Doctor said. "Was started by an old friend of mine several years ago. Gotta do it at least once per regeneration now."

"Yeah, well, I shoulda known my boys would team up to play pranks on me," Amy said.

Rory put his arm around her and kissed her lips and the Doctor smiled while the three of them walked back to the console room.

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