Chapter Three

(Tom Baker voiceover…) Meanwhile, in the tiny town of Darkly Noon near London, the Slitheens have gathered together for their weekly meeting…

Several disguised Slitheens are sitting together inside a small, mostly bare room. There are several windows so the room is also bright and sunny. The Slitheens are wearing skinsuits of obese people that they took from the bodies of people they killed. They are sitting on wooden chair and in front of them is a wooden table with a wooden easel beside it. On the easel is a large whiteboard with the words WELCOME TO FAT FIGHTERS ON IT. While the Slitheen chat, one hefty Slitheen enters the room. She is heavily made up with short blonde hair. She is dressed professionally in a blue pant suit and she's carrying a small black briefcase in one hand. The other Slitheen shut up when she strolls up to the front of the group.

"Good morning, everyone. I'm Marjorie…or at least that's who this person was before I killed her," she said, gesturing to her skinsuit. "It's good to see all of you, so let's get this meeting started."

"Excuse me?"

Marjorie paused and looked at a portly man sitting in the front of the group who had his hand up. Before he was killed, he was David Jenkins, a portly construction worker with a huge beer belly. Marjorie gave him a disdainful look.

"Yes?" she said tersely.

"Why are we here?" David said. "Are we planning the takeover of Earth?"

"No. I have decided to form a group called Fat Fighters," Marjorie said, pointing to the whiteboard.

"For what purpose?" A portly black woman said.

"The purpose…I'm sorry, what's your name?"

"Cathy," she said.

"Cathy. The purpose of this meeting, Cathy, is to find ways to lose weight because as you can see, all of you are obese fat fatties."

David raised his hand.

"Yeah?" Marjorie said in annoyance.

"We're supposed to be fat, that's the only way we can fit in these skinsuits," he said to her.

"Yes. But there's a difference between fitting into a skinsuit and ballooning out like a globe. And that's what you're doing, David, you're ballooning out like a globe and you and everyone else here needs to lose weight because you all look disgusting!"

The Slitheen glared at her but she was unaware that they were angry at her.

"So…" Marjorie said. "We need to lose weight and that's why I started Fat Fighters. So what do we need to do to stop looking like hippos? Anyone?"

She looked at her fellow Slitheen but no one said anything.

"Well, I think the first thing you lot should do is eat more dust. A dust diet would be a very good thing for all of you," Marjorie said gleefully.

"What about you then?" Cathy said.

"What about me, what?" Marjorie said.

"You need to lose weight as well," David said.

"Me? No! I'm at the correct weight for my body type," Marjorie said.

The other Slitheen glanced at each other and snorted. Marjorie went on with her spiel, completely ignoring them while they sat and silently glowered at her. Then they heard a cough and everyone turned their attention to the doorway. Standing there was a large man in drag. The portly man was dressed in a purple Victorian frock and was holding a matching parasol over his head.

"Hello all," the man said in a shrill falsetto voice. "Am I late for the meeting? I was out doing lady things, I am a lady."

"No, you're not, you're a bloke in drag," David said.

"No, I am a lady, my name is Emily. I am a lady Slitheen but I could only find this fat man to wear but I am a lady, honestly."

Everyone stared at Emily as she minced her way over to an empty seat and sat down in a very prim fashion.

"Continue," she said to Marjorie in the falsetto voice.

"Um…" Marjorie said as she tried to collect her thoughts after all that, "as I was saying, we need to start a weight loss program…"

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