MISSING IN ACTION

Doctor Who: Missing in Action

Chapter 1

"I couldn't believe it! There you were, Amy, pootling about town, being carried in the palm of this enormous alien lumberjack!"Rory said, laughing at the memory, "Oh, the look on your face!"

Amy and Rory came bounding into the TARDIS control room in jeans, tee shirts and light jackets, still toweling off their wet hair. They'd just been for a quick swim in the pool, a bit of relaxation after yet another hair-raising adventure with the Doctor. Having changed out of their swimsuits, they thought they'd go and see what the Doctor was up to.

"Yeah well," Amy shrugged, "how was I to know that accepting a cup of coffee from a gargantuan lumberjack was the equivalent of a marriage contract? Would you have told him 'no'?'" Rory opened his mouth, but Amy crossed her arms and, fixing him with her eyes, shook her head. "Don't even think about saying you would, Rory. I'm your wife, remember?" Rory silently nodded, wisely deciding to keep his mouth shut.

Flipping the towel from her wet hair, Amy threw it at Rory. He caught it, and frowned at her, as she ran her fingers through her damp hair, finger-combing out the tangles. "Let me borrow your comb, please?"

Rory dig into his back jeans pocket and handed her the comb. That's when he noticed the Doctor. He was stood motionless before the console, staring blankly into space. Rory was about to ask the Doctor if everything was alright, when Amy interrupted him. .

Sighing, she said, "I mean, it's not like the Doctor gives out some kind of alien tourist guide to his companions. Do this, don't do that. Don't accept coffee from friendly aliens wearing plaid flannel shirts and carrying big axes." She snorted crossly at her husband, suddenly feeling a bit miffed. "For all the help you were. You were too busy playing with that giant blue ox, to notice I was being carried away to a wedding chapel."

"I wasn't playing with it, Amy." Rory told her, leaving the two damp towels over a safety rail to try. "I was busy trying to wipe off all the drool and ox snot it was dripping on me. Why else do you think I suggested we go for a swim when we got back to the TARDIS?"

"You mean, you let me swim in a pool full of ox snot?" Amy said, swatting him on the arm. "One word, Rory: Ewww—!"

"Oh, I dunno'." The Doctor said, as he suddenly shifted out of his trance and began puttering around the console. Amy and Rory were leaning against the safety rail, watching him. "Ox drool makes an excellent hair gel. Especially on a cold, snowy planet like Lakelandia. Not so sure about the cattle boogies though." He pondered, tilting his head. "Maybe use it for glue, in a pinch?"

"Again." Amy sniffed. "Ew—."

"So where to now, Doctor?" Rory asked with a grin, rubbing his hands together. He decided that he really didn't want to think about cattle snot glue. "No more planets with drooling beasties, I hope."

"I thought I'd take you and Amy to see Trifectagama Nebula." The Doctor said, returning the grin. "It's about to explode, but before it does, it gives off the most beautiful array of colours—ers—ers—ers-ers-ers. Colours."

With raised eyebrows, Amy and Rory looked at each other, then back to the Doctor, who, despite briefly repeating himself like a scratched phonograph record, continued on with the conversation as if nothing had happened.

"Think of the Northern Lights." He chortled, his hands giving expansive, gleeful gestures, "Well, not the Northern Lights, but something like that, well, not at all like that, really. Maybe more like fireworks on bonfire night. Well, not like that either. Just trust me, you'll love it! I'm telling you, you've never see...een...een...een..." He looked up at them with a disconcerted expression. "Oh dear."

Amy and Rory looked on, mouths agape in shock, as the Doctor suddenly grew semi-transparent, flickered several times like a video image, then winked out of existence.

Without warning, a klaxon began to sound and the control room went dark. Sparks began to fly from the console. Rory had to hold on tight to Amy, as they were thrown about, with the TARDIS quickly spinning out of control through the space-time vortex.

"What's happening? Where's the Doctor?" Amy yelled, trying not to be pitched into one of the holes set into the TARDIS floor.

"I don't know, Amy!" Rory shouted back, one hand on the safety rail, the other hand firmly gripping his wife's arm. "Just try to hold on!"

"Ror-eeee!" Amy cried out, as yet another explosion, this one from beneath the console, sent sparks across the control room.

"It's going to be alright, Amy." Rory told her, trying to seem calmer than he actually was.

"Like, how would you know?" She spat out at him.

"I...don't?" Rory answered honestly, trying his best to stay upright, but, like his wife, not always succeeding. "But, I'm sure it will be, Amy. The Doctor wouldn't just leave us here to die. The best thing is to try and stay calm and not panic."

"Too late." Amy responded through gritted teeth, her white-knuckled hand gripping the safety rail for all it was worth. "Passed panic quite some time ago. Now completely terrified."

Yet, even as Amy spoke, a big red button popped up on the console, just below the monitor screen. It began flashing. Across the screen, words began scrolling in big, dark block letters: "In An Emergency Press The Big Red Button! I Mean NOW, Amy!"

Giving Rory a surprised glance, Amy shrugged and threw herself against the console. She braced up against it to keep her balance while the ship tossed and turned like a sleeper having bad dreams. Her hand slammed down on the button. As abruptly as it began, the ship righted itself and started flying normally.

They looked up, startled, to once again see another flickering, semi-transparent image of the Doctor. Only this one was only waist high. It seemed as if it was being projected from somewhere beneath the decking, right through the transparent perspex floor. The Doctor turned and smiled at them.

"Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope!" The Doctor said in a falsetto voice. Then he wriggled with glee and straightened his bow-tie. "I always wanted to do that!" He chuckled. Clearing his throat, the Doctor suddenly became more serious. "Sorry. Back to business." He still smiled, but there was a hint of sadness in it.

"This is Emergency Protocol Seventeen." The Doctor informed them. "Apparently, Emergency Protocol Sixteen, the four-dimensional fully interactive holographic image of me has failed, triggering the emergency backup system. If you're seeing this, either I've died without regenerating, or I've somehow been separated from the TARDIS and am unable to return."

Amy stared at Rory, panic once again rising in her eyes.

"Amy," The Doctor said, "Rory's right. For a change..."

"Oy!" Rory uttered in protest. Amy elbowed him in the ribs and shushed him.

"...there's no need to panic." The Doctor assured them. "Amy, I need you to press the green button just to the right of the typewriter thingy. The one next to the purple button."

"Why you? I'm the man of the family." Rory whinged.

"Not now, Rory." Amy muttered crossly.

"Make sure you press the green button." The Doctor went on, "Not the purple one."

"Why can't I be the one to press the green button?" Rory whined again.

"Shut up, Rory!" Amy and the Doctor said, simultaneously.

"Oh great! Being told to shut up in stereo." Rory mumbled, throwing his arms up in the air. "How does he know when to do that?"

"Because you're Rory." Amy said, turning her head to frown at him. "Now be quiet so I can listen to what he's saying."

"As I was saying, Amy, before Rory started whining like a little girl..."

"Oy!" Rory shouted again. "What is this? National Let's Take The Mickey Out On Rory Day?"

"... If Rory would be quiet for a moment, I need to tell you that I really wouldn't recommend pressing the purple button." The Doctor continued, as Amy looked on. "If you accidentally press the purple button instead of the green one, it'll cause the space-time vortex to implode, thereby destroying the entire universe. Either that, or you'll blow a fuse in the auxiliary rift stabilizer, causing a massive power cut in Cardiff. I mean, who can remember what all those buttons are for, after nine hundred some-odd years?" The Doctor's image shrugged.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Amy moaned impatiently to the image. "Don't touch the purple button. Got it. Moving on, Doctor. What happens if I press the green button, then?"

"Don't be so impatient, Amy. I'm getting to that bit." The Doctor sniffed. "The green button is progammed to have the TARDIS return you to your own time stream. Though," he said apologetically, "I'm afraid I can't guarantee that you'll end up in Leadworth. I do hope for your sake, that it won't be someplace like Fargo, North Dakota. Or Belgium. Or, a certain pole dancing bar in Milton Keynes." His image actually blushed. Then, the Doctor smiled warmly at them. "Anyway, enough of the chit-chat. You both take care of yourselves, eh? Oh, and thank you, both. For everything. Especially you, Amelia Pond. You were amazing. Have a good life."

As the Doctor's image faded out, Amy pressed the yellow button. The control room lights came back on, and the central column of the TARDIS began rising and falling with its normal wheezing regularity. Moments later, the time rotor stopped.

Rory looked at Amy. "Well, we've landed." He said redundantly.

"I think I've managed to work that out for myself, Rory." Amy said, her gaze shifting towards the doors apprehensively. "But, where? Where have we landed?"

"Only one way to find out." Rory said, heading for the TARDIS doors.

Through the open TARDIS door, the pair of them saw that they seemed to have ended up in some alley. It was night. In the chill raw air, a drizzling rain came down. Damp and moss slimed brick walls, occasionally papered with concert posters and marred by graffiti. The wet pavement near the alley's entrance dimly reflected the orange glow of street lamps. Red bin bags full of refuse, discarded beer bottles and cigarette ends littered the floor. Not far away, came the noise of people laughing and shouting. All this, against the backdrop of the deep, primeval heartbeat throb of rock music coming from somewhere nearby.

"I'm guessing we're on Earth, at any rate." Rory said, looking about curiously. "I think I recognize the label on that beer bottle over there. Tennant's Ale. Wherever we are, let's just hope the natives are friendly." He muttered. "Because I just realized I don't have any cash on me. I'm afraid we may have a long walk home, Amy." He looked around uncertainly. "Unless Leadworth has suddenly developed into a popular clubbing area—which, if you ask me, is about as likely as the Tories wanting to give more assistance to people on the dole."

"We're not going home, Rory." Amy said stubbornly. "We've got to find out what happened to the Doctor. And I'm not leaving here until we do...wherever 'here' is. Though something about this place does somehow seem familiar."

"It should, Amy. You're in Glasgow." Came a woman's voice from the other side of the TARDIS.

"River!" Amy shouted gladly, as River stepped into view. "Oh my God, am I glad to see you!"

"Glasgow?" Rory said, making a face.

"Don't tell me. Is the Doctor in trouble again, already?" River said, after embracing Amy in a hug. She had tiara in her hair, and was wearing a very expensive looking long black and silvery satan evening gown, complete with matching elbow length black gloves. "I only just left him an hour ago. He took me to the very first performance of Mozart's 36th Symphony in Lintz." She smiled and shook her head. "What a disaster! Good thing we were there to sort things. Or it would have been the last performance. Never invite a Cyberman to the symphony." She told them. Rory simply nodded. He was never sure when River was being serious. "They're tone deaf, you know. Anyhow, I decided to nip over to my favourite pub for a post-concert cocktail, before heading back to my prison cell. They make the best whiskey sour I've ever had. So there I am, walking down the street, and what do I find waiting for me? I'm telling you, no rest for the wicked!"

Taking a breath, her face then grew more somber. "Tell me. What happened to the Doctor, Amy?"

"The Doctor's gone, River." Amy told her. "One minute he was there, then next...I don't know. He sent us back to Earth. But, we can't just leave him out there on his own!"

"Right, then." River said, grinning broadly. Taking Amy and Rory by the arms, she steered them back into the TARDIS. "Let's go play Where in the World is the Doctor, shall we?"

Back                         Home                              Doctor Who Main Page                          Next

Your Name or Alias:      Your E-mail (optional):

Please type your review below. Only positive reviews and constructive criticism will be posted.