Chapter One

You know how you have that best mate that always tries to act silly and make you laugh? Well, believe it or not, the Doctor does exactly that. Which is funny when you think about it since he's supposed to be this wise and ancient Time Lord that has seen many things in his 900 years of existence. But inside he's really just a child at hearts. He and I have a special bond, a bond I've never had with anyone else and it's gotten to the point now where we can just look at each other and know what the other one is thinking. He's also gotten to the point where he's comfortable enough with me that he can tease me mercilessly. Especially if he's bored of if I'm sad or out of sorts.

Case in point…

We have a game that we have informally called Make Me Laugh. The rules are, at any time one of us does silly things to try to make the other laugh and the other must not laugh, no matter what, because they lose. This can happen at any time so both of us must be ready for anything. It's a reflection of our lives, really, where anything can happen at any moment so we must always be ready. But this is meant to be fun, not strenuous or terrifying.

But anyway, I was in the lounge the other day, minding my own business, reading a book when the Doctor decided to start another round of Make Me Laugh.


Rose was lying on the sofa reading Fifty Shades of Grey. A book that was slightly futuristic for her but she'd read a review of it in the Times when they were in the future and it peaked her interest. What amused her was the Doctor had no clue what it was really about and she amused herself mentally placing herself and the Doctor in the book in place of the characters. While she was reading, the Doctor casually entered the room. He walked behind the sofa, stopped and farted loudly.

"Oh, that was untoward of me," he said, putting his hand to his mouth.

He glanced at Rose but she calmly continued to read her book.

"I tooted my horn just then, did you hear?" he said to her.

"Yup," Rose said, turning a page.

"Enjoying the smell now?" the Doctor said.


He farted again.

"Bloody hell, my anus is active this morning," the Doctor said, looking behind him. "Must have been that limburger cheese butty I just ate."

The Doctor looked at Rose and began to fan the air next to his bum, directing it at her. Rose continued to calmly read, a pro at this game by now.

"What are you reading?" the Doctor said as he continued to fan the air.

"Porn," Rose said.

The Doctor stopping fanning, checking to see if she was being serious or not. Rose gasped when he snatched the book from her hands. She grinned when the Doctor flipped through the pages, speed reading it, his eyes growing wider the further he got towards the end.

"Explain yourself," he said when he finished reading and dropped the book back on her tummy.

"I heard about it, thought I'd read it for myself," Rose said, picking the book back up.

"And you thought I'd approve of such rubbish in the confines of my ship?"

"You read porn," Rose said.

"Since when?" the Doctor said.

"You read it all the time. Gallifreyan Sluts, I seen ya," Rose teased.

The Doctor stared at her for a moment.

"So what if I do?" he said while Rose tried not to laugh. "I like alien titties, same as the next bloke."

The Doctor stared at her intently, willing her to laugh at that. Rose bit her lip and managed to just keep herself under control.

"Big ones," the Doctor said, cupping his hands and miming bouncing breasts. "Purple too. I like purple ones the best."

Rose kept from smiling and the Doctor grrred in frustration.

"Bye, Doctor," Rose said softly when he headed out of the room, vowing under his breath to make her laugh.


Rose set the book down on the coffee table beside the sofa. She was getting up to go to the toilet when the Doctor suddenly danced into the room.

"Shimmy down now!" he said to her as he did a silly dance around the room. "Shake your booty, shake it now, if you don't, you're a big fat cow!"

He danced out of the room and then quickly stuck his head inside to look at her.

"Nice try," Rose said calmly.

"Errrgh!" the Doctor said, sticking his head back out while Rose snickered softly.


Rose was heading towards the kitchen to make herself a snack. When she entered, she noticed the Doctor was sitting at the kitchen table. His hands were cupped together and he was staring at something through a gap in them. He was intent on looking at whatever was in his hands and he looked up and nodded to Rose when she came inside.

"Hey! You'll never believe what I got now. I got a Munge. I found it near the console. Want to see it?" he said to her. "It's inside my hands."

"No thanks," Rose said, walking towards the fridge.

"Sure? You'll like Munges, they're brilliant. They're little shapeshifters, come see!"

"Nah," Rose said, opening the fridge door.

"This one just shapeshifted into you now," the Doctor said, peering into his hands. "Little tiny you and it's tap dancing."

"That's nice, dear," Rose said, getting out the milk.

"I will win, you know," the Doctor said to her. "I will make you laugh, I swear it."

"That's nice, dear," Rose said, closing the fridge door with her foot and setting the milk on the counter.

The Doctor decided to try something else. He stared at her for a moment, watching while he poured the milk. Then with a smirk, he got up and walked over to her.

"Thankee for the moo juice, faithful companion," he said, snatching the glass away when she let go of it. "I was parched beyond belief watching my Munge."

"Oi, bring it back here," Rose said, turning towards him.

"Or what?" the Doctor said calmly as he sat down and held on to the glass.

"Or I'll do something you'll regret," Rose said.

The Doctor stared at her, waiting for the something you'll regret part to come to fruition.

"Well?" he said when Rose continued to stare at him. "I'm waiting for you and your threats, so do something."

Rose walked over to him. The Doctor straightened his back and tightened his hold on the glass of milk while he stared at her defiantly. Rose licked her index finger and ran it down his nose.

"Ooo, that was horrifying alright. I'm surprised I survived that assault on my life," the Doctor said dryly. "What's next, flicking a bogie on me?"

"I want my milk," Rose said, holding out her hand to him.

The Doctor stared at her outstretched palm. He stuck his finger in the milk and ran the finger down her palm.

"There, you got your milk," he said.

He jerked his head back when she tried to run her milky palm down the side of his face.

"Give me my milk," Rose said.

"I will, on one condition," the Doctor said.


"Recreate something from that Grey book you were reading for my entertainment," he said to her.

"You've gotta be joking."

The Doctor stared at her passively.

"Do I look like I'm joking?" he said. "Do it or the milk lands up in my belly."

"Okay, I'll do it," Rose said.

She walked over to the kitchen door, walked out and reentered.

"There, I did something from the book. I entered a room, now give me the milk," Rose said, walking over to him.

"I want something from you, you know what it is," the Doctor said to her.

"I gave you my milk," Rose said, shrugging.

"No, I want you to laugh. Give me your laughter now!"

"Why? Are you the laughter fairy?"

"I will have your laughter, I swear it."

"Yeah, well…you keep the milk in the meantime. I don't need it."

Rose patted his head and whistled as she walked out the door.

"Oho, this is far from over, Rose Tyler," the Doctor said. "The game is still very much afoot!"

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