MY BEST MATE, THE DOCTOR

Chapter Two

Rose was lying on the sofa. She'd finished Fifty Shades of Grey and was now reading Fifty Shades Darker. While she was doing that, the Doctor strolled in and walked over to the sofa.

"Hey," he said, leaning over the back of the sofa. "I was just in America and I found a fantastic deal. I could save fifty percent on my car insurance by switching to Geico."

"Mm," Rose said.

"Course this technically isn't a car," the Doctor said, looking around. "But I do have a car. She's called Bessie. She's up in the attic though and…are you reading more of that porn rubbish?"

Rose smirked and nodded.

"Where is the other one?" he asked.

"I gave that to Mum."

"What?"

Rose looked at him and saw the shocked look on his face.

"What? It's an adult book," she said to him.

"You gave that horny old woman a porn book. Do you know what could happen?" he said to her.

"She could enjoy it?" Rose said.

"Exactly! Then she could become aroused and go out and find people and have sex with them," the Doctor said.

"And?" Rose said.

She giggled when the Doctor stared at her in shock.

"She's Jackie. Do you know how traumatized London could become if she becomes some sort of horny sexbot?" he said to her.

"You mean she might come after you eventually?" Rose said.

She laughed at the disgusted look on the Doctor's face.

"Ugh and I thought Davros was bad. Forget the Daleks, Jackie the Sexbot is worse than all of them! And if she tries to recreate any of the things she reads about…" he said with a shiver.

"Oh please, Mum won't do that," Rose said.

The Doctor stared at her for a moment before patting her head.

"I love how naïve you can be sometimes, it's endearing," he said as he patted her head. "Anyway, want to see what else I got from America?"

Rose put her book down and gave him a pointed look.

"Show me," she said to him.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small brown can of pop.

"Jolt Cola," he said, pointing to it. "Twice the caffeine as normal pop. Dare me to drink it all?"

"No," Rose said.

"Why not?"

"Because then you'll cause more devastation than Jackie the Sexbot," she said.

"But you might like me all wired and hyper," the Doctor said as he bent over to her. "You might find it fun when I'm a caffeine crazed dynamo."

"Or I might get injured when you lose control of your usual manic self and cause untold devastation," Rose said.

The Doctor put his finger on the poptop and held it there while he stared at her.

"Don't, think of the children," Rose said with mock horror.

"I won't if you do something with me," he said.

"What? Go stop my mum before she becomes Jackie the Sexbot?"

"Well, that might need to be sorted out but that's not what I had in mind," he said. "You see, I have a device that can alter my appearance temporarily."

"Uh-huh…" Rose said.

She frowned when the Doctor didn't elaborate and just left the room. Rose shrugged, picked her book up and started reading again. She was so engrossed in it; she didn't realize the Doctor returned until he tapped her on the shoulder. She looked up and did a double take. His hair was now jet black, he was wearing black eyeliner and lipstick and he had a piercing in his nose, his eyebrow and a row of them down his left ear. Rose stared at him in shock while the Doctor waved cheerfully.

"Goth Doctor," he said. "Do you like it?"

"Well…I mean…you aren't wearing Goth clothes," she said, pointing to his suit. "Looks a bit weird with the suit."

"That's because I haven't changed yet," the Doctor said. "The clothing are separate. What do you think of my face?"

"Is that real?" Rose said. "The piercings, I mean."

"No, they're clip-ons," the Doctor said. "I wouldn't pierce my gorgeous face, are you crazy?"

"Why are you doing this?"

"For a laugh," the Doctor said, shrugging. "I was hoping you'd go along with me and together we could go out in public and be Goth."

"And go where?" Rose said.

"Well, your mum's house for starters so I can retrieve that book."

"You really think my mum is gonna turn into some sort of sexbot after reading that Grey book?" Rose said.

"Your mum came on to me the first time she saw me. She didn't even know me and she was ready to strip off her kit and have at me," the Doctor said. "Imagine what would happen if she got a few ideas from that book. No man would be safe and possibly no woman, no child, no dog…"

He pinched her cheek when she rolled her eyes.

"Well, come with me and get your Goth makeover and then, my partner in crime, we shall begin our Goth adventure by visiting your mum."

Back                         Home                              Doctor Who Main Page                          Next