Chapter Five

The Doctor opened the doors of the TARDIS and strode out.

"Aha! Here we…"

Rose and Jackie came out after him and stopped when they saw the perplexed look on his face. They were standing in the middle of a dense forest. The Doctor looked around.

"Okay, this isn't what I wanted. At least I don't think it is," he said.

"Why? What were you wanting?" Rose said.

"Well, I was aiming for the Battle of Gettysburg so I could make a joke about the enormous amount of death and dying but I hear monkeys in the trees and I don't think there were monkeys in Pennsylvania," he said, pointing up above him.

"You sure? They might have monkeys but the soldiers shot them all during the war," Rose said.

"Uh…no, I don't think Gettysburg had monkeys," the Doctor said.

Jackie pointed to something behind him and the Doctor turned to see a small brown squirrel monkey perched on a tree limb a few feet above his head.

"Awwww," Rose said as she and her mother pulled out their mobiles to take a photo of it.

"Hey, little fella, any idea where Gettysburg is?" the Doctor said to the monkey.

The monkey stared at him for a moment and then suddenly it leaped onto his shoulder and began pulling off his earrings and examining them.

"We have a thief in our midst," the Doctor said, turning to the women as he pointed to the monkey on his shoulder. "And will you put down your mobiles and quit taking photos of it?"

"Why? It's cute," Rose said as he took a photo of the monkey examining the earring. "See Mum, it's not all death and danger out here."

"Monkeys can bite, you know, can you stop ogling it and save me?" the Doctor said to them.

"Rwaaaaaaa!" Rose said as she waved her arms around.

The Doctor breathed a sigh of relief when the monkey jumped back onto the limb and chattered angrily at Rose.

"Right, back away from the hairy thief now," the Doctor said, stepping towards the TARDIS.

The monkey examined the earring in his hand while the Doctor looked around.

"So…squirrel monkey. Which means we are most likely in Central or South America at the moment," the Doctor mused. "Not Gettysburg."

"See, Mum, you traveled to South America," Rose said to her. "Isn't it brilliant?"

"Perhaps. It's also hot and steamy," Jackie said, wiping the sweat from her brow. "Can we go somewhere else now?"

"Oh, I suppose. Have fun with your new toy, hairy little thief," the Doctor said to the monkey as he opened the TARDIS doors.

He ushered everyone in and when they were inside, he paused a moment before yelling and waving his arms at the monkey. The monkey shrieked and went higher into the trees. The Doctor snorted and went inside the TARDIS. The monkey chattered angrily as it watched the TARDIS vanish into thin air.


The Doctor peeked outside the door as soon as the TARDIS landed. They were back in the woods but this time they were on a high ridge overlooking a large field. In the distance, he could see blue coated soldiers getting into formation.

"Okay, I think this is Gettysburg," he said over his shoulder before letting the women come outside. "Just keep quiet and don't draw attention to yourselves. The last thing we need is cannonballs raining down on us."

"There's no battle," Rose said as she and Jackie stared at the Union soldiers in the distance.

"No, but they're getting into formation so there's going to be," the Doctor said, closing the TARDIS doors. "And no thieving monkeys to worry about which is a plus."

"Where's the Confederate soldiers then?" Rose said, looking the other way.

"I think they're on the hill on the other side of the field, hiding in the trees," the Doctor said.

"Come out and fight, you cowardly bastards!" one of the Union soldiers yelled.

"There was never meant to be a battle here," the Doctor said as he came up behind them. "They just happened to cross paths here. But this became the defining moment of the American Civil War, the turning point."

They watched while both sides taunted one another and dared each other to take the first shot. The Doctor nudged Rose.

"Dare me to go down there and walked through the middle of the field while I say "Die all of you, to be dead is glorious!"

"Do it, I dare ya!" Rose said.

"No, you're not going down there. You just told us to be quiet so we wouldn't draw their fire," Jackie said. "You stand right there and follow your own advice."

"Should I risk a slap from your mother then?" the Doctor asked Rose.

Rose looked at her mother and saw the warning look on her face.

"Nah, stay put and be a good boy," she said to him.

"Ugh, that's no fun," the Doctor said.

They looked over at the Union soldiers when someone finally fired the first shot. Then like wildfire, the soldiers began to shoot on both sides and Jackie flinched when she saw Union soldiers crying out in pain and dying.

"Um…shouldn't we leave now?" she asked them.

Rose glanced at her mother, saw the distressed look on her face and nudged the Doctor. The Doctor looked at Jackie before nodding.

"Yeah, let them have their battle. We'll move on," he said to them.

Jackie breathed a sigh of relief. Rose took her mother's hand and gave it a squeeze as they turned and walked away from the battlefield.

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