Chapter Seven

Rose was sitting on the sofa watching a film on the television. She was wrapped in a navy blue blanket while wearing pink pajamas and pink fluffy slippers. A huge bowl of popcorn and a glass of Coke was on the table beside her and she was snacking on them while watching the movie. While she was doing that, the Doctor strolled into the room. Rose smiled at him and then frowned when he walked over to her without speaking and examined her. He lifted up a corner of the blanket and looked at her legs.

"Jimjams," he muttered to himself.

"Yeah, what about it?" Rose said.

He straightened up and looked at her slippers.

"Pink fuzzy slippers, snuggly blanket, popcorn and a refreshing drink."

Rose frowned deeper when he turned on his heel and left the room without further comment. Rose shook her head and went back to watching her movie. Fifteen minutes passed before she saw the Doctor again. She raised her eyebrow when she saw him. He was now wearing navy blue jimjams, blue fuzzy slippers and had a black fuzzy blanket draped over his arm while supporting a bowl of popcorn on the palm of one hand and holding a glass of Coke in the other.

"Copying me?" Rose said.

"Oh please, I never copy. I do everything originally. Besides, this is a good idea," the Doctor said.

Rose took the bowl and glass from him and the Doctor wrapped his blanket around him and sat down beside her. Rose handed his bowl and glass back to him and the Doctor put the bowl in his lap and happily munched his popcorn while he snuggled with Rose. Rose glanced at him and smirked.

"Mind if I watch something else. I recorded something on Tivo earlier," she said to him.

"No worries, I'll watch whatever you want to watch," the Doctor said, shrugging.

He gave her a sidelong glance when she giggled at that and picked up the remote.

"What's with the laughter?" he asked her.

"Nothing, nothing," Rose said innocently.

She found a film and started it. The Doctor plucked a popcorn out of the bowl. He brought it up to his mouth intending to eat it when Rose suddenly fast fowarded through the film, going past the opening credits so fast that the Doctor didn't catch the film's title. She kept on going until she hit a certain spot. She stopped and let the film play. A man was standing in front of a terrified woman. He was dressed in a sparkly silver suit that looked like it came from a bad 50's sci-fi film. He had long, flowing blonde hair and dark green eyes. The woman was dressed only in a bikini. She was Caucasian with long, dark hair and dark eyes. It looked like they were in a shed or some rundown shack somewhere.

"What are you going to do to me?" the woman said as she pressed herself up against the wall.

"I mean you no harm; I have come from the planet Zarkon in the Andromeda Galaxy."

"There is no planet Zarkon in the Andromeda Galaxy," the Doctor said smugly.

"I have come here because I am the last of my kind. My planet was destroyed in a great war," the man said.

The Doctor stopped chewing his popcorn.

"I must not let my species die. So I must procreate with you so you will give birth to an alien baby."

"What the hell is this?" the Doctor said while Rose giggled.

"Um…I believe it's called Outer Space Sluts?" Rose said.

The Doctor stared at Rose while he heard typical porn music coming from the TV. He turned his attention back to the TV. The man was now ripping the bikini off the woman while she protested.

"I must ensure the survival of my species!" the man said as he undressed her. "Do not worry, I am well endowed. You will be satisfied with me!"

The Doctor snorted when the man undressed and the woman suddenly froze and stared at his crotch.

"Ooooh, it's sooooo big," the woman moaned, suddenly titillated.

"Please, I have a bigger john thomas than that," the Doctor said when the camera angle switched to a full frontal shot of the man.

"Really?" Rose said, looking at his crotch.

"Oh, you can't judge the size of it by looking at it," the Doctor said when he noticed her. "Like the TARDIS, my trousers are bigger on the inside. Otherwise, my trousers would burst from the sheer magnitude of my penis."

"Really?" Rose said.

"Yup, I really am well endowed," the Doctor said as he looked at the TV. "And this man's technique is total rubbish, I could shag the woman better than him. Course when I did it, I wouldn't be able to see her. Five mile womb broom, you know," he said.

"Your penis is five miles long," Rose said with a dubious look.

"Told you, my trousers are bigger on the inside," the Doctor said, shrugging.

"Oh? Prove it then," Rose said.

"Look around you? Is the lounge five miles long?" the Doctor said.


"Well, if I showed you my penis, the whole room would become cramped and possibly suffocate us. I need sufficient room to show you my wonder and glory, dear."

"Okay, take us to a big, big field then," Rose said.

"Nah, I'm busy eating and snuggling," the Doctor said.

"You're so full of it, Doctor," Rose said, pushing on his leg with her foot.

She laughed when the Doctor grinned at her and pushed on her foot. Then suddenly they were kicking at each other's legs with their feet. The Doctor put his bowl and glass down on the coffee table in front of them and put Rose's bowl of popcorn back on the table beside her.

"I am the last of my kind," he said, leaning over her while she giggled. "I need to procreate so my kind can live on."

"No, not me!" Rose said melodramatically while the Doctor leaned in closer.

"Yes, you are a viable human drone, you will give birth for me," he said.

"No, please I don't want to!"

"But I am well endowed, you'll be satisfied."

"Really? Show me!" Rose said.

"Well, wait about an hour, I have to get five miles out then," the Doctor said.

"So…when you and your kind ran into people on Gallifrey, you had to be five miles out?" Rose said.

"No, that's just me, I'm five miles long, everyone else was average size on my planet."

"Yeah, right, you wish."

She squealed with laughter when the Doctor threw off her blanket and began to tickle her.

"Submit to me for procreation, Rose Tyler!" he crowed as he tickled her.

"Never! I am a virgin and will remain so!" Rose squealed as the Doctor tickled.

"Then I will procreate with your mother!"

"Really? I'd pay to see that," Rose said as the Doctor paused in his tickling.

She squealed when the Doctor resumed his tickling.

"You'd have to pay because I'd need to go see a doctor after I shagged Jackie because I'd be very ill!" the Doctor said as he tickled her. "Not to mention Jackie having my baby would make me very, very, VERY ill! Probably be a toad or something like that!"

"Stop, stop tickling, I can't breathe now!" Rose gasped.

"Okay, I'll stop…for now," the Doctor said, letting up his assault.

He patted her head as she gasped for breath. He chuckled and picked up his blanket and wrapped it around him. He giggled when Rose playfully slapped his head when he sat back down beside her. Rose turned off the porn movie and found something else for them to watch. After that, the two of them snuggled together and snacked while they watched the film.

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