Chapter Nine

"So what are we doing today?" Rose said as she followed the Doctor out of the TARDIS.

"A mission, my faithful friend. A very important mission."

"Ah," Rose said. "What mission is that then?"

The Doctor turned to her and gripped her shoulders.

"Do you trust me?" he said, staring at her intently.

"Of course," Rose said.

"Then say no more and follow me," he said to her.

Rose shrugged and followed him while he walked along the London pavement in search of something. She noticed that it was Easter or nearly Easter from all the decorations in the shop windows. The Doctor beckoned to her and she followed him into Marks and Spencers. He grabbed a shopping trolley and Rose stood beside him, wondering what he was going to purchase. She frowned when the Doctor reached into the pocket of his trenchcoat and pulled out a teeny tiny black CD player. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a teeny tiny CD, smaller than Rose had ever seen, and inserted it into the player. He turned it on and Matthew Wilder's Break My Stride began to play. Rose giggled when the Doctor mouthed the lyrics and did a little dance while he gripped the handle of the trolley. Then he was off down an aisle, still mouthing the lyrics and pausing every few feet to do a couple of dance steps before boogying along.

"You seem happy," Rose said.

"Ah, I am. Lovely day, lovely companion and lovely mission," he said. "Aha! Here we go!"

Rose frowned when the Doctor stopped long enough to grab a box of tampons off the shelf. Curiousity overwhelmed her when he put the box in the cart next to his CD player and strolled on.

"Are you on your period then?" Rose teased.

"Not saying a word," the Doctor said airily as she boogyied out of the aisle.

Rose continued to walk beside him, watching as he stopped to get a pair of Easter Bunny bunny ears, the kind that you put on your head. He put that next to the box of tampons and walked on. He then found a rubber mask of a bunny's snout and put that in the trolley.

"Okay, now I'm really curious. What's all this for?" Rose said to him.

"You'll see," the Doctor said enigmatically.

Last but not least, he selected a can of SPAM and put that in the trolley before heading up to the front. By now, Rose was insanely curious about what he was going to do with the odd selection of items in the trolley but the Doctor was tight-lipped when she asked him again. She stayed by his side and watched while he paid for his purchases with cash. Once the items were put in a sack, he thanked the cashier, took the trolley up to the front, grabbed the sack and his CD player and beckoned to Rose. Rose followed him back to the TARDIS. The Doctor put the sack on the jump seat and quickly inputted some coordinates. While the TARDIS was flying, he told Rose to wait for him and he walked out of the room. Rose opened the sack, pulled out the bunny ears and examined them before putting them on her head.

"Ah, good, you've got them on!"

Rose looked over and was shocked when the Doctor stepped into the room. Now he was dressed as a monk in a brown, course habit.

"Doctor, what is going on?" Rose said.

"You and I are going to participate in a solemn ritual," the Doctor said as he walked up to her. "So...on with the bunny snout, Rose!"

He grabbed the mask out of the sack and put it over her nose. He stepped back to admire his handiwork. Rose was wearing the white bunny ears and the bunny mask with pink nose and buckteeth. Rose was about to ask what the hell this had to do with some ritual when the TARDIS suddenly powered down. The Doctor snatched up the sack and the boombox and told her to come on. Rose, still curious about what was going on, followed him to the front door. The Doctor opened it, peeked out and nodded at her before going outside. Rose stepped outside and realized they were in the middle of an ancient graveyard somewhere. It was early morning and mist shrouded the ground. Rose looked around but saw no signs of London. In fact, she didn't see signs of any towns or cities, they seemed to be out in the middle of the countryside. The graves looked old and some of them were crumbling with barely legible names on the gravestones. The Doctor beckoned to her and they walked over to a very old granite gravestone. The grave was surrounded by a small black iron fence. The Doctor stepped over the fence and set the CD player down on the ground in front of the gravestone. He turned it on and fast fowarded through the songs until he got to some Gregorian Monk's chants and then he stood very solemly in front of the grave. He beckoned to Rose to step inside and Rose stepped over the fence, still wondering what the hell they were doing. The Doctor put the sack on the ground and reached inside it while Rose read the name on the gravestone.

"Felicia Stoutwater," she read while the Doctor pulled out the can of SPAM and the tampons. "Died 1654. Did you know her?"

"Yes, I fought her," the Doctor said, glancing over his shoulder.

"Fought her?" Rose said.

"Yes, she a vampire."

Rose gave him a dubious look.

"We're standing on the grave of a vampire," Rose said.

The Doctor nodded. He handed the SPAM to Rose and opened the tampon box. He handed Rose a tampon and took one for himself before putting the box back in the sack.

" must follow my instructions to the letter because we must prevent Felicia from waking up," he said to her.

"Um...alright," Rose said.

The Doctor took the wrapped off his tampon and told Rose to do the same. Rose did and gave the wrapper to him. He put both wrappers in the sack.

"Mustn't litter, that would make Felicia angry," the Doctor said as he leaned back up. "Now, I repeat, it's absolutely essential that you do as I say or we might have to deal with a pissed off vampire. Got that?"

Rose nodded.

"Okay, raise the tampon and the tin of SPAM above you head."

Rose did as requested and the Doctor raised his tampon in the air.

"Now, spin around with the tin and the tampon in the air like this..."

The Doctor spun around quickly and Rose did the same.

"Now," the Doctor said, stopping. "Scream out, BEGONE BLOODSUCKING DEMON OF THE NIGHT!"

"BEGONE BLOODSUCKING DEMON OF THE NIGHT!" Rose bellowed when she stopped spinning.

She waited for the Doctor to give her more instructions but instead he stood there sniggering. She gave him a wary look.

"What's so funny?" she said to him.

"You're just so trusting, Rose. You'll do anything I say, no matter how daft," he said. "I figured you'd question wearing the Easter Bunny kit but no, you put it on and totally went for it."

"YOU GIT!" Rose said, trying to bean him with the can of SPAM while the Doctor jumped over the fence. "You just did this so you could humiliate me for a giggle."

"Well, actually, I was planning to land somewhere like in front of Harrods and test your loyalty to me there but even I'm not that sadistic. Besides, I didn't want to risk us landing in jail. This was just for fun."

"So you don't know Felicia Stoutwater?" Rose said.

"Haven't a clue who she is. I just noticed a fence around this grave and thought it would fit in with the whole stop the vampire idea I had in mind. I'm impressed, Rose, but at least now I know you'll never betray me, not after all this. You'll jump off Big Ben if I asked you to, wouldn't you?"

He giggled and kissed her cheek when she flipped him the vees.

"You look cute as a bunny," he purred in her ear.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Rose said as the Doctor chortled and gathered up the objects from the gravesite.

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