MY BEST MATE, THE DOCTOR

Chapter Fourteen

Rose yawned and sat up in her bed. She had just woken up and was eager for adventures with the Doctor. She was about to get out of bed when the door opened. The Doctor came into the room, cradling Snuffy in his arms.

"I have been working with our daughter since last night," he said, setting Snuffy on the bed.

"Our daughter?" Rose said. "I gave birth to an elephant then?"

"Yes, it was a difficult birth but you pulled through," the Doctor said. "Anyway," he said as he grabbed a nearby wooden chair and brought it over to the bedside, "look at this. Come here, Snuffy," he said, picking up his little elephant and putting her on the chair. "Snuffy, sit up!"

Rose's eyes lit up when Snuffy sat back on her butt and raised her front legs and trunk up while the Doctor beamed proudly.

"I tried giving her peanuts but Snuffy's a bit small and she can't handle them without any teeth. So…I use this as a treat," he said, showing her a handful of raisins that he pulled out of his jacket pocket. "Here you go, Snuffy, good job," he said, giving her one.

Snuffy wrapped her trunk around the raisin and put it in her mouth.

"I have been teaching her all sorts of tricks," the Doctor said proudly, rubbing Snuffy's head. "I've been teaching her to walk with a lead as well so we don't have to hold her all the time. And the TARDIS made her some circus accessories so she'll look fabulous. Now…Snuffy, up, up!"

Snuffy stood up on her back legs and Rose clapped as the Doctor fed her another raisin. Snuffy fell forward onto all fours and the Doctor gave her another raisin as a treat.

"Doctor, doesn't it bother you that Weetabix is giving away elephants?" Rose said as the Doctor rubbed Snuffy's back. "What if someone gets an elephant and doesn't know how to take care of it properly."

"What are you saying then? We should go and stop Weetabix from purloining puny pachyderms and promoting them as prizes?"

"Yeah, I'm saying that," Rose said dryly while the Doctor sniggered and fed Snuffy another raisin.

"She's very easy to take care of," the Doctor said as he patted Snuffy's head. "Doesn't require much hay or water and she's portable. And if she gets cross and goes on a rampage, we won't end up underfoot."

"MEEEEEEE!" Snuffy trumpeted.

"And she's cute when she toots her horn," the Doctor said. "Maybe we could take her to your mum and show her off."

"Um..shouldn't we wait to do that?" Rose said with a wry grin.

"Whatever for?" the Doctor said.

"After what happened last time we tried to go there," Rose said.

"Why? What happened the last time we went there? As I recall, I dropped you off and you had tea with her while I fixed the circuitry. What else went on?"

It was then that Rose realized the Doctor had made good on his threat to erase the image of her naked mother from his mind and he truly had no idea what she meant. Rose briefly considered describing her naked mother to him and reintroducing that image back into his mind before dismissing that. She wasn't thrilled to see her mother naked either and she wouldn't make him remember it again."

"Nothing, never mind," Rose said. "I just think we should wait until Snuffy's toilet trained. I don't think Mum would want elephant poo all over the flat."

"Although…I could train her to poo on command. Maybe with a code word. How about…Jackie? Every time I say "Jackie", out comes the Dumbo dung!"

"No, that is not acceptable to me," Rose said.

"I didn't ask if it was," the Doctor said. "You're not the boss of me or Snuffy. I can train her to poo on command if I want to."

"And if Mum smacks the living hell out of your cheeks, will that be worth the risk?"

She smiled when the Doctor paused to consider that. She giggled when he rubbed his hand over his cheeks.

"Should I risk a slap for the pleasure of watching my Snuffles poo all over Jackie's flat?" he mused. "I mean I am a fast runner…so…I could outrun her."

"Okay, if you do it, I won't travel with you ever again," Rose said.

"Should I risk the loss of my ten a penny companion to enjoy the sight of shite all over Jackie's floor?" the Doctor mused.

"Ten a penny, am I?" Rose said. "Okay, I see the writing on the wall. I'm leaving, mate!"

The Doctor watched as she quickly got out of bed. He picked up Snuffy and followed her as she walked to her en suite bathroom.

"I was joking about the ten a penny thing," he said, leaning against the bathroom doorway while Rose got ready for the day. "You're special to me. Besides, you're the mother of our child. You can't leave her here without a mum."

"MEEEEEEEE!"

"See, she agrees," the Doctor said. "So come back to bed and watch me train Snuffy. I'll teach her to stand on her little head if it kills me."

"You don't want to go somewhere today, you just want to stand Snuffy on her head," Rose said.

"Well, that and the whole poo on command thing I was thinking of."

He giggled when Rose flicked water at him from the tap.

"Get dressed and get prepared, my faithful companion, we have much to do today," the Doctor said before turning and leaving the room.

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