PARENTHOOD
Chapter Two I have been called a lot of things over the years but Daddy wasn't one of them. Oh, I wasn't a bad father, just an absent one. On the Gallifrey where I came from, Time Lords had little or no contact with their children and my father was the ultimate example of just how cold and heartless they were. I wasn't loomed like my brother was due to an experiment that my father decided to do with my mother to see if there was any difference between naturally born children and those that were loomed. My mother told me that experiencing a life growing inside her was the most thrilling thing she ever felt but my father's constant tests drove her bonkers. When I was born, it was evident that I was going to be different. Not only from the fact that I had a bellybutton but, and my mother told me this, there was a look in my eyes that wasn't in my brother's eyes. Growing up, I was subjected to the nickname "wormhole" due to my bellybutton but I was proud of it. My mother would laugh when I was smaller and would lift my tunic, showing my bellybutton off to anyone we came in contact with. My father didn't find it amusing and would lecture me for hours on the proper behavior of a Time Child but it just went in one ear and out of the other. Like all Time Lords, I had an arranged marriage and I do admit that I did fancy my wife. She was very pretty but she wasn't a goddess like my wonderful Frankie. (Wait, I'm getting ahead of myself.) My wife and I had, in total, eight children and all of them were loomed. I did try asking if she would like to try having a natural born child and she looked at me like I had three heads. "How disgusting!" she had told me and we dropped the subject. Like the Doctor, I had a son called Dex and I was surprised to see that he had the same look in his eyes that I had. Dex was rebellious and adventurous and my wife said it was my fault whenever he got into trouble. Dex and I had long talks about going off in my TARDIS when he was old enough and he would spend hours helping work on her engines and operating systems. Then everything changed. While I was away, Dex had gone camping with some friends and was attacked by a halnar. Alan once asked me what a halnar was and it's a large beast that lived in the mountains of my Gallifrey and it was a cross between a wolverine and a bear. Rassilon knows why it attacked Dex but he was barely alive by the time they had brought him back to the citadel. His hearts were too damaged for him to regenerate so the doctors made him as comfortable as possible and my hearts were breaking when I came to see him. There were tubes and wires all over him and he sadly smiled at me from under the oxygen mask. I did most of the talking that day and asked him to forgive me for being such a terrible father. He just smile and told me through our bond that he never thought of me like that. He died that night in his sleep. My wife blamed me for his death and vowed that none of our children were ever going to travel with me. That didn't stop Susan. Oh, no, she wanted to come with her grumpy old grandfather. We traveled together for a long time and I adored having her with me. But when she fell in love, I decided it was time for her to go. I still can hear her begging for me to open the door as I made my TARDIS go into the vortex and still can to this day. After her came a young Highlander called James Robert McCrimmon. Like me, he didn't have a close relationship with his father. But, unlike me, his father had died when he was ten years old. Oh, he was raised by his lord but they were never close. The bond that developed between me and Jamie was always up for debate but I knew, as well as he did, that we had adopted each other and I had a son again. He proved many times over how loyal he was to me and I was never proud of any of my children as I was of Jamie. Victoria came next and I adopted her as my daughter. Yes, I had daughters but none of them gave one lick about me. Victoria was so sweet and innocent so it hurt when she left me but I understood. She wasn't cut out for the life I was leading. No, that came in the form of a little smart arse called Zoe. Oh, I know I shouldn't call her that but she was smart, spunky and clever. No wonder I liked her. She reminded me so much of Susan and was the perfect match for Jamie. Both of them bickered like a brother and a sister and there were many times I wanted to send them both to their rooms without supper. It didn't last long because my high and mighty Time Lords took them away from me because of my "interference" with things. Let them face Daleks and see how they deal with them. (Wait, they did and I lost everything.) It was during my "helping" them before my exile that I was reunited with Victoria and Jamie. Looking back, I wish I had picked someone else and left Jamie where he was. If I had then his mind wouldn't have been torn apart and he wouldn't have spent most of his life with half of his mind stored in a fob watch. The guilt from that stayed with me for a long time and I swore that I would never become close to any of my younger companions. That changed the moment I met a young boy called Adric. He was smart, funny and, yes, annoying but he needed a father. I tried my best to be one to him but, in the end, I failed him. He died saving us from the Cybermen and I was never going to open that part of my hearts again. Ace changed that decision and I tried again to be a father. It didn't work and I locked it away forever. Maybe that's why I couldn't feel anything when Jenny showed up. It was true that she was a clone but she was also my little girl. It took her dying to awaken that part of me that I had locked away for so long to make me feeling anything again. When she died…Well, she didn't die but regenerated in a way I wish I could…I sealed it away for good and was never going to feel anything parental again. That changed when Adam came along. True, Adam wasn't my child, but he did have children of his own with Rose and I remember the first time he placed his daughter, River, in my arms. She was this small, sweet smelling little thing with these big brown eyes and wisps of ginger hair and had a smile that could melt the hardest of hearts. I was stunned to learn that she had telepathic powers at such an early age and could feel her even though we were in two separate universes. Her brother, James, was born a few years later and I could see the wander lust that was in not only my eyes but in Adam's eyes. I find it amazing how love can be found in the darkest of times and it came in the form of my Frankie. I had badly injured in a Time Storm, which destroyed my TARDIS, and I admit that I don't remember stumbling out of it and collapsing on the sand at Bad Wolf Bay. Without my TARDIS, I knew that I was good as dead but I was found and taken to the base of the one person I never thought I'd see again, my universe's Master. I'm still not sure where his wife, Lucy, got the information that explained my Time Lord anatomy and biological functions but my guess is the Master must have told her about me and what a Time Lord was. I slipped into a healing coma and woke up looking at my wonderful goddess. Frankie had agreed to work with Lucy in order to save the life of her little brother, Cameron, but it turned out that he didn't need saving. He enjoyed working for Lucy and the Master and, even though Cameron was one of the smartest people on the planet, was the dumbest person I have ever met. When the Master was destroyed, Cameron vanished and I vowed to Frankie that we would find him one day. Frankie agreed to come with me after we were rescued by the Doctor and his family and I was surprised that he wanted me and my little family to join his. In a way, I gained two amazing brothers and tons of nieces and nephews that day and I never regretted my decision to leave my universe for this one. Being with the Doctor allowed me to be reunited with my Jenny and, through some twist of fate, I was also reunited with Jamie. The guilt of what happened to him resurfaced but we were able to fix what had been broken and my "son" was whole again. I still see the look on Jenny's face the day she married Jamie and I became a grandfather again. Oh, I'm not talking about their twins. I am talking about six young orphans that they adopted after a trip to the past and I love all of my grandchildren with all of my harts. Now, recovering from being slightly paralyzed after my accident had left me wondering if I could have children and Frankie and I had long talks about it. Imagine my reaction when Martha told me that my little "swimmers" were fine and that there was a high possibility that I could get Frankie pregnant. Though busy with one thing or another, I drove Frankie bonkers while she was pregnant and would spend a lot of time stroking her swollen stomach and sending love and comfort to our unborn child. I didn't care if it was a boy or a girl. I was a father…no, change that…I was a daddy again and couldn't wait to see whoever it was. I remember thinking how perfect he was when I held him in my arms for the first time and that he smelt like hollyhocks. A strange smell coming from a boy but that is what he smelt like. He had this little red face and his nose was pushed up a bit but it returned to its normal position the next day. He had all of his little fingers and toes… Blimey, I never realized how big my feet were compared to his tiny feet and how long my fingers were. Uh, going back to what I was saying, he was perfect and Frankie had a hard time getting him away from me. I don't want to let him go. He's mine! I can carry him anytime I like and I WILL show him and his tiny little belly knot to everyone I meet! No one is going to make fun of his bellybutton and he will have a daddy that will love him and show him all of time and space! "Whoa, that's a bit much," Frankie said while Theta sat at the computer and he looked up at her. She was holding Cameron in her arms as he smiled and sat back in the chair. "Well, it's true. I don't care if people think I'm daft when I show off his belly knot," he said as he stood up and took Cameron out of her arms. Peeking under the blanket, he frowned when he saw the little dressing that covered Cameron's belly knot was gone and he poked at the little hole. "Hey, where did it go?" "It fell off," she said as he sighed then pouted. "Don't worry. I put it in his baby book." "Ew, but at least we have it, don't we," Theta said as he rubbed noses with Cameron and Cameron wiggled in his hands. "Why are you writing this?" she asked, pointing to the screen and he smiled, rocking Cameron in his arms. "I am going to keep a journal about our little family." "That's a great idea! I was going to do that but I'm rubbish when it comes to putting my feeling into words," she sighed as he walked closer and kissed her cheek. "No, you're not," he said when Cameron's face went red and Theta sniffed the air. "Oh, blimey, he pooped!" "Give him here," she said when he handed Cameron to her and she left the room. After she left the room, Theta sat down as he read what he had written then smiled and typed on the keyboard. If there is one thing I have learned in my long life, it is that things change where I don't but I think now that I have changed and it's for the better. I promise, here and now, that I will be here for my children and woe to anyone who tries to take them away from me. Nodding, Theta saved what he had written then turned the computer off and got up, leaving the room.
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