PARENTHOOD
Chapter One Hundred and Fifty Nine The warmth of the sun woke him as Hamish sighed and rolled onto his back. He reached his hand across the mattress when he realized that the bed was empty and he opened his eyes, the familiar darkness greeting him like it did every morning. Sighing, he sat up when he reached over for the stick but only felt empty air and he blinked, reaching down and moved his hand along the floor. He reached out some more when he slid off the bed and landed with a thud. "Shite!" he grumbled when he heard footsteps running up the stairs and he got onto his hand and knees, reaching out with his hands as he tried to find the stick. "Are ye alright?" Lucy asked as she ran into the room and saw him crawling aimlessly on the floor. "Hamish, what are ye doing?" "I cannae find my stick!" he shouted as she ran to him, knelt down and hushed him, wrapping her arms around him. He pushed her away as he got up and staggered around the room, trying to find the bathroom doorway. "Let me..." "No, I can find it!" he shouted then felt the edge of the doorway to the bathroom and walked inside, closing the door behind him. Sighing, Lucy sat against the side of the bed when she saw the stick had rolled under the bed and slid it out from under the bed, got up and walked to the bathroom door. Knocking, she opened the door then looked inside and saw Hamish standing near the toilet, his hands on either side of the lid. She could see that he was shaking as she carefully walked to him and felt her hearts breaking. She knew as well as anyone how frustrated he got and stood next to him, seeing the tears rolling down his cheeks. "Are ye sure that ye're alright?" she asked softly as he reached out with his hand and she took his hand. She gently pulled him toward her as she wrapped her arms around him and placed her head against his shoulder. "Hush now, it's alright." "No, it's nae alright," he whispered as she rubbed his back and reached out with her mind, pulling Jamie's mind forward. "Father, may I have words with ye?" she thought as she put up a privacy block and Jamie felt the concern in her mind. "What's wrong?" Jamie thought. "Hamish is having one of his bad days. Can ye come over an'..." "I'll be right there," Jamie thought as she let his mind go then looked at Hamish. He had his eyes closed as he held her tighter and she bent his head down, kissing his lips. "Where did ye go?" he whispered. "I was talking with yer father," she said and he nodded, holding her tighter. "I hate this," he whispered and she rubbed his back, sending love into his mind. "I ken," she said then kissed his lips again and set the stick against the toilet. Jamie knew better than anyone what it was like when Hamish had a bad day. He had seen more than his fair share of them and half ran down the pavement. He knew that his first wife blamed herself for Hamish being blind and he scolded himself for secretly blaming her as well. He sighed when he saw Namid walking down the pavement when he got an idea and smiled, waving his arm to get her attention. "Hello, Uncle Jamie," she said as she came closer and he smiled at her. "Lass, I need your help," he said and she gave him a concerned look. "What's the matter?" "It's Hamish. He's having one of his bad days." "What do you mean?" "It's when his blindness gets too much for him. He gets depressed an' his temper flares. Most times, he just sits an' broods all day, but I think this is one of those days where he'll go off an' do something stupid." "You mean like get into a fight?" "Aye, that's what he might go off an' do," Jamie said with a nod of his head and Namid sighed. "What do you want me to do?" "I was hoping that you would come an' talk tae him." "Because I know what he's going through," she said and Jamie felt his hearts hurting for using her being blind as a way to cheer his son up. "You dinnae have tae," he said but she shook her head and smiled. "No, that's fine," she said then placed her hand on his shoulder and smiled. "And you don't have to feel guilty about asking me to talk to him." "It's just that I feel like I'm using you," he sighed and she softly laughed. "f I felt like that's what you were doing, I would have said no," she said and Jamie nodded. Taking his hand, they headed down the pavement and Namid swung his hand back and forth. Lucy opened the door when she let Jamie and Namid inside and frowned, wondering what Namid was doing there. 'Where are the girls?" Jamie asked. "I sent them over tae Frazer's," Lucy said and Jamie nodded. "Where's Hamish?" Jamie asked as Lucy blinked then looked at him. "He's upstairs. Why is she here?" Lucy asked, nodding her head toward Namid. "Uncle Jamie asked me to come and talk with Hamish," Namid said and Lucy smiled, rolling her eyes. "Good luck with that. When he's in a mood, there is no talking him out of it," she said as Namid smiled and headed for the stairs. "Oh, I think I can get him to open up," she said then ran up the stairs and Lucy looked at Jamie. He shrugged then went to sit on the couch and Lucy went to sit next to him. Namid found Hamish sitting with his back against the headboard and slowly walked to the bed. Sitting on the bed, she took his hand but Hamish looked straight ahead and she reached over, stroking his hair. "Is there anyone home?" she teased while he blinked but didn't answer her. Sighing, she moved closer when she sat on his lap, placed her fingers against his temples and closed her eyes. Setting up a privacy block, she reached out with her mind when she felt his mind but it seemed to be blocked and she mentally tapped on the block. "Please, Teacher, let me in," she whispered when she felt the privacy block lower and his mind crept into hers. Suddenly the world changed as she stood on top of a hill and she could smell the heather in the air. Walking down the hill, she saw Hamish standing near a paddock and several horses were running around the paddock. She walked closer when she stood next to him and looked at the horses. "Father showed me what they looked like," he finally said and she nodded, placing her hand on top of his. "He sent for ye, did he?" "No, but he did ask me to come and try and cheer you up," she said with a smile and he sighed, slightly smiling back. "Because ye understand better than most what it's like tae be blind," he said and it was more of a statement then a question. "Yeah, I guess that's why," she said as she nodded and he brushed some hair from his eyes. "Then he shouldnae have bothered," he sighed and she placed her hand on his shoulder. "What's really going on?" she asked and he stood up, looking her in the eyes. He knew that he could see inside his own head as he took her face in her hands and smiled at her, "I can see in here. I mean really see. There is colors, shapes an' alike an' it is hard nae tae want tae stay here," he said and she placed her hands on his hands. "But it's not real," she whispered and he smiled. "I ken that, but it doesnae make it any less real when I open my eyes. What if this is the real world an' that's the dream? If it is a dream, why would I want tae open my eyes? Take a look around ye," he said then let go of her head and leaned on the fence. "This is how I see the world." "This is the world you grew up in?" she asked and he nodded. "What about Lucy and the girls?" "What aboot them?" he asked, arching an eyebrow at her. "Are they here?" "I'm nae sure if they are or nae. I havenae looked for them." "That's because they're not here." "How do I ken that they're there when I'm awake? How do I ken that anything is real?" he asked and she noticed that the angry look in his eyes. "I do understand what you're saying. My family used to show me the world, but it took me seeing it for the first time to really understand what is real and what isn't," she said and stroked his hair. "But ye were finally able tae see the world. I'll never be able tae see." "What, are you saying that all your lives are going to be blind?" she asked with a smile and he glared at her. "I dinnae ken," he sighed and brushed the hair out of his eyes. "Well, if you lock yourself away in here, you might never find out," she said and he blinked. "Aye," he said with a nod of his head. "So, are you going to get up and face the day or are you just going to be a lump and sulk. If it were me, I would find something fun to do." "Like what?" he asked, arching an eyebrow at her. "Do you trust me?" she asked and he gave her a worried look then nodded his head, making her smile.
Back Home Doctor Who Main Page Next