PARENTHOOD
Chapter One Hundred and Sixty Eight After coming into the food court, Jenny sat the bags down at a table near an Italian restaurant and started to go towards a Chinese restaurant when the Doctor grabbed her wrist. "Before you eat, can I chat with you for a moment in private?" he asked. Jenny nodded and they walked away. Hope started to follow them but the Doctor gently told her to stay behind and he would be back in a minute. Alan, seeing that Hope needed to be distracted, strolled up to his niece, leaned over and put his nose to hers. "Moo," he said with wide eyes. Hope giggled and patted his head. "I'm Bossy the Cow and I'm very hungry. Will you feed me so I can make lots of milk for you?" Alan asked her. Hope nodded and Alan beamed as he took her hand and they walked towards a restaurant. Meanwhile, the Doctor led Jenny away from the food court. "Jen, I wanted to talk to you...about your getting a doll today," the Doctor said to her as they sat down on a wooden bench that was in front of a large potted pine tree. "Did you do that just to please Hope or do you truly miss not having a real childhood?" Jenny thought about that for a moment while the Doctor waited. "I think I do miss having some sort of childhood," Jenny finally said. "But you did have a childhood even if you had an adult body," the Doctor said. "I keep telling you lot that you're not that old in Gallifreyan years and you technically were a child until the age of two hundred." "I know but...I never felt like a child," Jenny said, looking at her hands. "I think that's because you were never meant to be one," the Doctor said sadly. "You came out of that machine so you could be a killing machine. That's why I tried to show you there was alternatives to that, even back there on Messaline when I told you that you never had to kill anyone." He put his hand on her back when she nodded and smiled. "Are you jealous of Hope?" the Doctor asked after a moment's silence. "No, why should I be jealous of her?" Jenny said, confused. "I just meant are you jealous that she's having the childhood you never had?" "No, I'm glad she's having a proper childhood. I'm glad most of my brothers and sisters had a proper childhood. I'm not bitter, really. It's just odd that I was never a child." "Well, if it makes you feel any better..." The Doctor stood up, took the yo-yo out of his pocket and sat back down. "You don't have to be a child to be a child at hearts," he said to her. "You have noticed that I play with this yo yo from time to time, among other things." "And toy mice," Jenny added. She giggled when he rolled his eyes. Jenny nudged him. "We never did see Donna's womanly wiles at work, ya know." "And you're complaining about that?" he said while Jenny laughed harder. "I stopped her precisely because I was afraid to see what she meant by womanly wiles. I can only imagine what Lee has to go through in the bedroom at night. In fact, I better not say anymore because the image of her doing something seductive might get stuck in my mind for the rest of my lives. I'm glad I landed up with Rain, that's all I'm going to say about that." Jenny chuckled and the Doctor put his arm around her shoulder and squeezed her arm. "I'm glad I found you again and brought you up as my daughter," he said to her. "You've been one of the greatest joys of my life." Jenny blushed and the Doctor gave her a peck on the cheek. "So, now that I've taken you away from a possible meal, would you like to rejoin the others?" Jenny nodded and the Doctor gave her another peck on the cheek before they got up and walked back to the tables in the food court. The Doctor slowed down when he neared the tables and saw Alan sitting with his daughter. His daughter had a veggie wrap and a small bowl of mixed fruit in front of her. She was giggling and feeding Alan a grape while he mooed and opened his mouth to let her pop the grape in. "More. Must make more milk!" he said after he swallowed the grape. "Here's something," Hope said, putting an orange slice in his mouth. "Moo. Me likey," Alan said before chewing it. Rain, who was sitting nearby with Rose, shook her head when the Doctor and Jenny walked up. "He's being a cow as you can probably tell," she said to him. "Don't worry, the fruit bowl is his purchase, he just wants his niece to feed it to him." "I'm feeding Bossy so she'll make milk, Daddy," Hope said to him. "She? She's a very butch cow," the Doctor said while everyone laughed. Alan looked at him and drew his face in close to him. "Me-yooo," he said. The Doctor stood up, got a pocketknife out of his pocket and turned it over and over in his hands while Alan watched. "I'm feeling a bit peckish for a burger. If I slaughter Bossy, will the burger place over there cook it?" he mused while he stared at the knife. "I have a bad temper and hooves," Alan mused. "If I kick Brother really hard in the head, will it go sailing across the food court and land in the wok in the Chinese restaurant?" "I'm married to a maniac," Rose mused. "If I file for divorce, will it go through immediately?' "No, because I'm one of those people who will kill you because if I can't have you, no one else can," Alan said, looking up at the ceiling. "I'm a jealous guy and I covet you for my own." "Heh, just try killing me, mate," Rose said while Rain giggled. Alan scooted over to the seat beside her and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Ugh, I'm trying to eat here," Rain said, making a face. She jerked her head back when Alan tried to slap her cheek. "Hey, you quit being a bad cow," Hope said. Alan jerked his head around and slid back down to his original seat. Rain shared an exasperated look with her husband while Alan mooed and accepted a slice of peach from his niece. The Doctor was about to say something when suddenly someone slammed into him from behind. "Daddee!" Tara squealed as she hugged him tightly from behind. "Not any longer. I had a double heart attack and it's too late for me to regenerate. S'pose you're outta luck now," the Doctor said. He looked behind him and saw the other women had come into the food court. Tara hugged him tighter and kissed his cheek. "Sorry, Daddy, just had to do that," she said. "Yes, well, it's a good thing I was able to control my reflexes. I've had monsters sneak up behind me before and I might have thrown you over my head into Bossy over there," he said, pointing to Alan who was now feeding Hope her veggie wrap. "Moo, and all that," Alan said before he turned his attention back to Hope. "Now, eat your veggie wrap so you can have lots of energy for playtime." "What happened to the fruit?" the Doctor said. "Ate it all. It was delish," Alan said, glancing back at him. "I'm waiting for him to give milk now," Hope said to her father. "Um...baby, I think you might have a long, long wait," Rain said while the Doctor sniggered. "Not necessarily. Perhaps my clone body has milking abilities," Alan said to her. "In that case I'm glad you married Rose," Rain said. "I'd hate for you to get excited and milk sprays out of your nipples and hits my face." "Hee, that would be funny," Hope said. "Yes it would be. I'll have to think up a way to do that for your amusement," Alan said to her before feeding her another little bite of her wrap. The Doctor glanced behind him when Amelia tapped his shoulder. "So...what's my name?" she said to him. "Grizzabella?" the Doctor said. "What's my name?" Amelia prompted. "Shugalotta? Mankypooker? Damaramalamadingdong?" "Her name is Amy, Papaw," Opal said, coming up beside Amelia. "Shagnoodle?" the Doctor said, ignoring her. "Plattskarken? Poodoodoo?" Rain chuckled when Amelia threw up her hands in mock exasperation and her and her sister headed to the Chinese restaurant. The Doctor winked at his wife. "Coulda sworn it was Nonkaplonka," he said to her while she laughed. "Could be wrong though. Ah well, I better stop thinking about it and go get a burger." On the way out of the shopping center, they noticed a bouncy house had been recently set up. The Doctor paid two quid and everyone stood by while Hope went inside the red and blue house and bounced around, giggling insanely. The Doctor looked at his brother. "What? You're not joining her, Miss Moo Cow?" he said. "Nah, Bossy might flatten the house and that would bring several policemen running and Bossy would end up in jail. So no bouncy for Bossy." "Hey, that's catchy, I'll have to write a children's book with that title," Dorothy said. The young women giggled while Alan shot them a look. "And I'll write one entitled, I'm Amy, Damn it!" Amelia said, nudging Dorothy. "And I'll write one entitled Why Am I Still Relatively Sane After All These Years?" the Doctor said. "It'll be a memoir of me bringing up a family and wondering why they haven't driven me to the loony house yet." "Daddy!" "What?" the Doctor said when Hope stumbled over to the mesh on the front of the bouncy house. "Come inside and bounce!" Hope said. The Doctor looked at the attendant who was sitting on a wooden stool nearby. "I dare ya," Rose said. "Ten quid if you get in there and bounce with her." The Doctor raised his eyebrow when the rest of his children except for Dex offered up ten quid for him to do it. The Doctor pretended to count all of them and then muttered to himself, counting off tens while he held up one finger after another. "Wow! I might be moderately rich if I do this," he said to Rain. "Do you dare me as well?" "Ah, what the hell, go for it!" Rain said. "We'll bail you out of jail if the cops come running." They laughed when the Doctor ran over and quickly slid into the bouncy house while Hope squealed with glee. Everyone laughed harder when the shocked attendant leapt off his stool and ran to the entrance. "Sir, this is for children only," he said as the Doctor rolled around. "I'm a kid at heart though," the Doctor said while Hope rolled into him, laughing hysterically. His family members applauded when he crawled out of it with Hope. Ignoring the angry look of the attendant, he walked over to his family and held out his hand. "Pay up. I did the dare!" he said to them. "Scatter!" Rose said. The Doctor gave them an annoyed look when they quickly ran towards the entrance of the shopping center, leaving him with Hope. He looked down at Hope, grinned and scooped her up. He held Hope close to him while he followed his family members to the front of the shopping center.
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