Portrait of a Time Lady

A/N The 10th Doctor reflects on all he had lost.

Brax/Romana with mentions of Four/Romana and Eight/Romana

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He had always kept the portrait . It was the one thing that reminded him of the best summer he had ever had, and of course, Romana. He never wanted to forget her. In fact, the possibility didn't even bear thinking about. It was like a summer romance: boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love and decide they want be together forever, holiday ends and they go back home promising to keep in contact.

But he and Romana weren't a silly holiday romance. They were so much more.

She was no longer a silly little girl with brilliant grades, no longer his companion, she used to be his one and only equal and he had lost her, not even to Gallifrey, no, she had made the choice for them; exiling herself to the pocket universe known only as E-space, anything so long as she did not have to return home. She had been brilliant. She helped free a group of slaves, she never wanted to return home, but in the end she had. All that brilliance and compassion wasted on Gallifrey, a planet that didn't deserve nor appreciate her. He should never of taken her home when she requested his help, especially after the promise he made about ripping apart E-space and taking her back to the TARDIS.

He broke that promise.

Companions came and went they always asked about the picture. "That's Romana," he said. "Well, it symbolizes Romana. I keep it to remember her by."

In later years she became president. She was the very best and he never doubted it. He would find himself coming home to Gallifrey, to her, to his beautiful President Romana, but he would believe that he was not enough for her. The visits became less frequent and their love grew less and less.

The reality, of course, was different. She felt lonely on Gallifrey, of course there were moments she treasured on Gallifrey, but for the most part she felt lonely. She surrounded herself with advisors like Leela and Braxiatel because she trusted them and she knew she could rely on them.

"You don't need to come back for me," she told him one day, knowing in her hearts that one day he would tire of her and the planet he hated, and he had agreed. He rarely saw her until the day he heard she was going to be bonded to another Time Lord, realizing in those moments that he had lost her. He cursed himself for letting her go.

"Is that it?" asked the inner voice in his head. "Are you just going to give up on the woman you love?"

How could he? So once again he found himself back on Gallifrey, both hearts racing when he saw her. He was crazy for her and he knew it. He could not let her marry another Time Lord, she belonged with him. He made his way towards the Presidential offices and walked in.

"Romana," he said softly.

"Doctor? What are you doing here?" she asked, surprise was written over her face. It had been ten years since he had been on Gallifrey, ten years since she had last been with him. She had moved on, grown up, and now he was back.


Why, after all this time, had he chosen to turn up? Just when she had finally accepted that her and the Doctor were not meant to be. She had fallen in love with the Doctor's brother, Braxiatel, the one Time Lord who had never disappointed her and loved her, who had brought healing and fun and love into her life.

She had been lonely, they both had, and they had become closer. It had happened gradually, first it was just an odd glance one would give the other, then the late night counsel he gave her, until he was staying the night with her realizing they were no longer friends but much more than that. Brax had been only too happy to devote himself to her completely.

Romana did not realize when she admitted she loved Braxiatel. Had it been when she was his student? Or after the Dalek abduction when he had cared for her? Or after the Doctor had walked out, or one of the late nights they had been in each other company realizing they both needed each other.

At first she had denied she felt anything, hiding behind Gallifrey, claiming she did not have time for love, Gallifrey needed her. The very same reasons she had used to not be with the Doctor. But she could only deny her feelings for so long.

The Doctor being back could only complicate matters. She had loved him once, too, such a long time ago. She had missed him, his silly attitude to life, his immaturity, his silly grin, but Romana had grown up. She could no longer be irresponsible. Unlike the Doctor, people needed her.


"I came back for you?" he said uncertainly, looking into her perfect blue eyes. They both looked at each other. She was still incredibly beautiful to him, but something had changed in her. He was not sure what, but she did not seem to look at him the way she once did. Had he already lost her?

Suddenly they were interrupted by Braxiatel's arrival. "Romana did you want to-" he started, but stopped mid-sentence, seeing his brother standing there.

"You!"

"Braxiatel," said the Doctor, looking to Romana and back to him.

"So you have heard," Braxiatel said, gently taking hold of Romana's hand, giving him no illusions of who Romana belonged to.

"Braxiatel, please," she said, "A moment."

"With him?"

"Yes, with him,"

"My Lady," as he left the room.

"You can't be serious," the Doctor sighed. Romana and his brother, together. How had that even happened? he mused silently to himself.

"And why ever not? At least he is reliable"

The Doctor scoffed "And that's what you want for your life, is it? Safe, predictable, reliable. He can't make you feel the way I do."

"Oh, what would that be then? Disappointment after disappointment? Because that's all you bring me. If that's what you had to offer then no thanks. You could have stayed with me here, but you wouldn't."

"And you could have come with me."

"And abandon Gallifrey? You were weak, Doctor! This is our home where we belong."


Had he been weak? Had Romana been right? After the war happened he never saw them again. They had been rumours that Braxiatel had died along with Romana but he never saw the bodies. Had they survived? Did they both die in the war? He regretted that he didn't do something.

He stood outside his TARDIS, leaning against it, watching the crowds of people walking past. Then he spots a couple in the crowd. They seem familiar but he doesn't know why. The woman is blonde with straight hair and the guy is very familiar, he can't quite put his finger on how. Of course, they are bickering, but they seem oddly out of place as if they are not quite human. And then he spots something familiar on the woman's arm.

He's sure it's what he thinks it is, he isn't going mad. It's a Gallifrean wrist band, it's what Time Lords sometimes wear after being bonded to each other. It had Gallifrean writing, high old Gallifrean writing, to be exact, the lost language of the Time Lords. Could it really be them? If it is they had regenerated since the last time he had seen them. The female looked very young, younger than he had ever seen her. He was usually good at knowing these things.

He strained his ears to hear what they were saying.

"We left our Gallifrey to find a home, maybe this is it. Maybe this is all there is." she said in a low tone.

The Doctor finally speaks "Or you could come with me. Haven't travelled with many married couples before."

"Thete," said Brax shocked to see his brother, suddenly noticing him.

"The Doctor," whispered Romana, more out of shock than anything. "After all this time we thought you died. I don't know why me and Brax survived. We saw Gallifrey destroyed, all these people dead because of me, a destroyer of Gallifrey! That's what I became," A tear rolled down her face.

"No, it's time to move forward, Romana, no more blaming yourself for things out of your control," Brax said, looking lovingly at Romana and resting an comforting hand on her shoulder.

The Doctor saw one thing when he looked at both Brax and Romana: neither had come to terms with the destruction of Gallifrey. Maybe they would be able to help each other.

"Welcome aboard," the Doctor said.

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