RETURN TO SKARO

Author note return to skaro follows on from End of time.

Disclaimer I don't own Doctor who the BBC does.

"No, no, no!" A look of pure fear appeared on the Doctor's face. "This is wrong! No, it's more than wrong, we shouldn't be here. Why?" he turned on the TARDIS"Why have you done this?" His hearts were racing. He had been in Skaro twice before this. The very first time... It had being the first mission he had taken his cousin, Erisa, on, a mission that had failed.

The Time Lords had seen a time when the Daleks would exterminate the universe. They wanted the Doctor to travel back to the time of their creation to try and avert it, to try and stop their creation. They had made him take his cousin, it wasn't his choice but the Time Lords always had a way of making the Doctor do their dirty work. They wanted Erisa banished from the Academy and from Gallifrey itself, as she was deemed a wild child, a rebel and an embarrassment to Gallifrey. Although they didn't say this to anyone outside the high council, so forcing her onto the Doctor solved all their problems. It was only for a time, but they hoped she would learn something from him.

"What is it?" Donna asked nervously. It was rare for Donna to see the Doctor scared, but when she did, she knew they were in real trouble.

"This planet, Skaro. I came here after the last great time war... it's how I killed my cousin... We should leave. We should really leave." But it was too late; Jenny had already pulled open the door. A look of pure terror covered the Doctor's face. "No!"

He flashed back to that very first time, when he had first come to Skaro, with his cousin as his assistant. It was strange thinking of it now, not having seen her for many years.

"Doctor."

The Doctor looked up to see his cousin standing in front of him. Although it had been so long since he'd last seen her, she looked exactly the same as she always had. She was dressed in her blue dungarees, with her academy T-shirt and her cheeky grin that hadn't changed. He, on the other hand, was completely different, having regenerated four times since they had last seen one another. Erisa hadn't been his first choice of assistant as she wasn't very earth savvy, having led a sheltered life inside the walls of Gallifrey.

"So where we going, Doctor?" She enquired curiously.

"Skaro." He answered, not really paying much attention.

"Doctor, why did you abandon me?" She suddenly asked, determined to have it out with him.

"What? I didn't abandon you. I left Gallifrey."

"Without me." She looked at the Doctor sadly. "I thought we were friends. Obviously, I was wrong." She walked round the Tardis till she was face to face with him. "You abandoned me. And all this time I thought it was because of me, that I had done something. No goodbye, no nothing! Then suddenly you return, ten years later and expect everything to be the same!"

"You haven't changed." He told her.

"But you have!" She prodded him in the chest with her finger. "You aren't the Doctor I grew up with, you aren't my friend! You're the most obnoxious, self-centered being I've ever met! I can't believe I ever loved you!" The words just slipped out of her mouth without meaning to, so she ran towards the door and disappeared.

" Erisa!" He shouted after her.

When the hell did any of this occur? The Doctor was baffled, he had thought the only problem he had was the Master's sister's crush on him!

She ignored him as she ran through hallways, almost knocking numerous Time Lords over in her haste.

" Erisa!" She kept running, through the grounds of Gallifrey, through the lush red grass, determined to get as far as away from the Doctor and his Tardis as she possibly could.

Finally, he caught up with her.

" Erisa." He said her name softly, but she ignored him. He grabbed her arm and pulled her round to face him, "I'm sorry, okay? I didn't know."

"Didn't know we were friends? Or that I had a stupid, school girl crush on you?" Tears streamed down her face, falling freely.

"It's not stupid." He told her, wiping the tears from her face and kissing her gently on her forehead. "And it wasn't you, it was Gallifrey. It was... so many things. I felt you were too young to understand."

"Did you ever miss me?" She asked him, staring intently at her feet.

"I did, all the time. I regret not saying goodbye, I really do."

"You could have come back." She finally looked up and into his eyes.

"I couldn't."

"Why not?"

He couldn't give her an answer. He wasn't even sure himself why he had to run. Had Gallifrey been that bad that he had had to run away? Back then it hadn't been that bad, he was sure of it, especially after what he had seen in the past ten years. Back then, there were no big threats, no power corrupted presidents... No, that all started much later.

"The second time I was here was after the last great time war in my 8th regeneration. I had just found my entire planet had gone all my people were dead and when I opened the void, we had had to cling on tight to stop us falling into the void. But Erisa... she was hit by a Dalek as it was sucked into the void. She lost her grip and tumbled into void. I had grabbed hold of her hand but she slipped from my grasp... I couldn't keep hold of her, I couldn't save her... and I saw her disappear into the void, her screams still haunt me now. I have her blood on my hands, and that won't ever go away."

Donna reached over and squeezed his hand gently. "You can't keep blaming yourself for something that wasn't your fault."

"But it was." The Doctor's eyes were full of pain and age old anguish. "I was angry. I wanted to kill them, destroy them all, just like they had destroyed my world! ...If I hadn't come here my cousin would still be alive."

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